CDIH

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This recent FLOOD of threads about 'jobs' and "employment" have made me think back just enough to reach a state to throw something together to perhaps entertain, bore, and/or disturb you. Whoever said this place was dead, full of bodies, and sucked? They're fuckers and moreover I am used to the smell & will always love you, so don't you listen to Rooner and the rest of BoredPlanet. So I will keep any "novelesque" post here so not to clutter the board. Actually I don't mean that. I will post them where I feel they belong and in the context I feel appropriate, ie where I fucking want to, whether this is my "blog" or not, clever one, and if that tugs a cock the wrong way, well they can just go over to their computer there, put their face right up the monitor real close like, focus real hard, and read.........this......"Sorry about that"

So I think back a bit about me. I was always quiet, a bit runty, an easy target in short. It seems no matter who I stood next too, I always had to look up. I never spoke really or tried to, not in crowds anyway (ie. two or more). When I see a group of people talking and smiling, I used to get nervous & scared because more times than not I would be observing in some humiliating situation or from a battered ant-eye view if conscious. So I think a lot of my original personal characteristics have stayed with me somewhat and now let's get to...."work"...hoho!

I remember this one old man that used to be at the office. He seemed a kindly fellow, friendly, full of good-natured & fatherly advice, always a smile....except for me it seems.
So nothing new here. I am used to the odd person here and there who find my cold silence and gaze more unnerving then the regular person who is just content to leave me be if they even notice at all (you hurt me, arpi). I'm not an unreasonable man nor unfair, nor unempathetic. So why do I even remember this person now or at all? Well for whatever reason I kinda felt bad I made him as uncomfortable as I did. I purposely stayed out of the way, never tried to make eye-contact. If we passed in the hall, I curtly knodded and continue my glance at the floor or the paper I was holding. We were a regular "I don't fuck with you, you don't fuck with me" cliche

But these things have a way of sometimes "crossing over our little the Mason Dixon line where I'm not bothering you and twisting my balls the wrong way, you old fuck you and fuck your cunt wife too POP POP Bye, fuckers". It's funny and unfortunate how such things come about but I digress. So despite our estrangement I never really thought about the fellow. Well maybe that was a lie, I was admittedly kind of hurt I suppose that someone might have such a "sinister" view of me as a person as I never really went out of my way to bother or hurt anyone that wasn't asking for it or just did somthing to me.... but this is repeat information & irrelevant (it really really hurts, arpi) and I assume common to most, I'm nothing special, no fucking great revelation here. Nonetheless, the stage is set for something interesting.

So we're at a company function, completely worthless event, completely worthless job actually, full of completely worthless task and routine. I have since decided I will never do anything of personal worthlessness ever again. What I do, whether it's hire a whore, try to pick up some broad, type a post, etc it's because it either leads to, is during, or will lead up to orgasm or somekind of intellectual and/or sado-masocistic pleasure or fullfillment. So there is some kind of scene going on that the kindly old fellow is trying to mediate and calm. It's not a physical one just some blowback from an unwholesome situation that kinda effects everyone there as we get on in our worthless lot with perhaps not as great a level of personal satisfaction as one would want out of one's experience engaging in personally worthless tasks. So, I kind of veer into the buzzing crowd to listen (rock in hand...hoho!), the old man can really put worthlessness into perspective and further how the changes hwe sees as the logiczl conclusion can postitively effect us. The whole worthlessness is worth it and touching to me. I was impressed. The crowd disperses and there he is, looking at me. His wife is there and she has a very warm smile and motherly look about her, she was clearly just captivated by her husband's oratory, leadership and Hitleresque rallying influence. Yeah, he's a real gentleman, Betty, top shelf, and he sure is lucky to have YOU.

Arm over her should he looks at me and for perhaps the first time ever without intent to pull the pin of a "best and most polite way to lose the loon" grenade. He asks me a question, not job related specifically but about this situation he just outlined, put into crystal focus for everyone, and sent off the lot with a simultaneous sense of togetherness, pride, and elation. So he says to me...ME....*tears... "What do you think, is that fair?" I was almost flat-lined. Further, really honored, flattered, and even relieved at that particular moment...the moment that we have seemingly & finally broke through the personality wall separating us. This guy wasn't a presumptive dickhead, I was thinking at that moment. He's almost a father-like figure. I'm buying this fucker a card in June. So then I said, "Yeah I heard about what was going on, and I just don't really care enough to think about it.".......Silence that seemingly silenced the entire room.......That moment haunts me with regret to this day. I have set that day and that moment as the marker by which I measure the improvements I have since ventured to make of my own flawed and defective personality and outlook.

Moving on and wrapping up, his once kindly eyes turned almost menacing. He looked at me like I was a turd for only just half a second, then he found himself again and returned to his god-like, gentlemanly, & stately composure and manner. And he said, without aggression or heat, "Yeah...well you better start caring about something one of these days." I just stood there like I was just doused with a bucket of cold reality. What has my life become?...hmmm....

I dunno but sometimes I think about that a lot and it's almost like I re-live it in my mind. I can even almost hear his and his wives heads rolling around in my trunk when I was on my way to the river before I went home that night.
Boredplanet must really be that bored to talk about this place and say it's dead.

Did you end up raping that dude's wife?
your threads are quentin tarantinoesque.. entertaining but yet frightening in a psycho sorta way
Goatweed Wrote:Boredplanet must really be that bored to talk about this place and say it's dead.

BP is dead too.
we should have a BOREDWAR!

get it?
Goatweed Wrote:we should have a BOREDWAR!

get it?

If we do, it would have to be here, since Gooch bans and deletes people who are mean.
Goatweed Wrote:Boredplanet must really be that bored to talk about this place and say it's dead.

Did you end up raping that dude's wife?

Rape is a deplorable act in that situation - in fact it makes me think back again. You guys are good...

So it involves this one chick I seen a few times at parties. She was a friend of a friend of one of my friend's wives and her whole crew actually who are all either married to my friends or they served as tag alongs to big parties. She was a fox. Long blond hair, perfect body, a total package physically anyway. So one night as things are progressing, beers going down, I finally have enough beer nuts to make a move and also find myself by myself with her just sitting innocuously on the couch. So there has been a lot of convo and stuff and I engage her a bit and tie in what I can to hopefully produce a nice sudden effect that will impress and lather once I drop it on her. I don't even remember but from what I think I do I said (this is out of context now so forgive the cheesiness); "So if I were to like make out with you right now , you wouldn't object?" So she wasn't into it and I backed off, never bothered her again. I admit, if a chick was asked to draw a picture of a guy she'd like to screw, you might think I was a fucking slug next to it. Though I have had successes. The jury is still out regarding my perceptions of how "good" looking I am. Really really hot chicks have approached and others just walk by or spit on the floor at my feet. Weird world, so back to the real one now

So, my point here. So after this she's at parties sometimes and I never bothered her, didn't even talk to her since I was such a disgusting looking pig to her. So I need to go on a bit and weave a wee bit more of a context to explain how I reach my main point which I state here to spare you if you don't care. So I move on in a sec and hopefully provide the rationale for me telling her quite publically in front of a silenced and shocked crowd of long time friends that if she opened her mouth again I might take what I want the next time verses asking nicely because that's how I roll when I deal with scumbags that try to degrade me.

The stage: I have, what I take & tolerate (to be kind and maintain status quo), somewhat of a reputation as being the "psycho" of the crowd! Yeah PSYCHO!! It's amazing what being kind, generous, and understanding will elicit out of some people. So apparently this little "rumor" runs throughout the wives (cunts) crowd. So one time I arrive at another party and there is the chick I am unworthy to even look at and she very unabashedly says to the girl next "There's that psyho guy" Then they shared a laugh and carry on. I don't know if it was the booze in her or if it was intended as a private word but it carried and I was in an especially tastey mood, one to be a complete fucking vicious animal because you see that was not her first infraction in saying such things about me even while I was in the room so the booze arguement is moot so I proceed to the beautifully self-righteous kill.

So I walk up, about 4-5 feet separating and I say without getting loud "What did you just say?" She rolled her eyes and snorted a quick laugh and went to turn her back & move on. Afterall, I'm not someone you need to pay at all a jot of respect to. So, I pull out my friend Mr. Glock (nearly brand new at the time) and I fired a round right into my buddies couch which was fortunately empty (though it cost me a grand to replace for him after). At that point, complete silence and I find that this girl has since given me her full attention. I say again my earlier question very calmly and not in anger, ya see I was curious. So, I can see she is bit nervous and beyond speaking, so I just kindly excuse her from answering and I continue thusly still very calmly and conversationally (I summarize since it's been a while but all the elements and the home run are there):

You don't need to answer that. I actually heard you. I heard you the other few times you said it. I think you have the wrong idea about me. I'm no psycho. I'm actually a very reasonable and nice person. I'm a good guy! This is something you might have gathered the one time i asked to make out and obviously you weren't interest and I since left you alone, gave you space. If you ever change your mind please let me know. Needless to say and I'm sure all the dudes here will agree, you are very attractive, a real minx. So what I mean is you have your ideas about what I am like and that's fine. However, when you choose to express them to someone and you do it in a way that I find a bit anmnoying, like similar to as if you were walking down an alley and by a bum and say very loudly (just next to the bum) to your friend "Look at that disgusting slob", I think i need to say something about it to clear the air. But about the bum thing, You say this right in front of him because you know that he's very likely to not have heard or understood or cared enough to react. You think he's some kind of filth and you can degrade him as you wish. So let me just say something so we understand each other moving forward, actually it's more of a question: I wonder if you would have the guts to say something like that if you and me were the only people in this house? Further, I wonder if as you say it you would have fresh in your mind what my intentions toward you were that one night. So anyway, what do you think? Would you say that thing you said before if it were me and you and that's it? Do you think if you did, you could stop me from taking what I want this time instead of asking so nice? Also, I wonder if are you the type of person that would be begging me to continue 30 secs or 5 minutes after I started? Are you the type of person that would ask for my number so I could do it again when I was done with you? So please think about this and I hope I have given you a better and more flattering picture of me then the one you had before.
I gotta admit, if someone shot up my couch I'd think they were psycho.
Well either way the party went on after, silence broke. I apologized to the people I cared about for the scene and she left I believe...the country
no sucky fucky then? that stinks.
These remind me of John Doe's journal from Se7en.
I am blond girls soiled drawers
The only thing I look back on with regret per that incident is that I didn't use the line I just thought of right now:

"Just because the people in my neighborhood mow the lawn, it doesn't mean I won't rape the shit out of you if you f with me"
At least I've never wasted ammo on a couch.

Always remember, one shot, one kill. Learn it, live it, love it.
Mad Wrote:At least I've never wasted ammo on a couch.

Always remember, one shot, one kill. Learn it, live it, love it.

Wasted ammo? Right. How many people have you shot? How many shots have you fired? I bet I have a far greater ammo efficiency rating. When it comes to guns and kookiness, that is the one & only thing I guarantee I have on you - and I'm not saying I shot anyone which I haven't but if you shot 50 my rating will still be higher, that's what i mean.
Galt Wrote:
Goatweed Wrote:we should have a BOREDWAR!

get it?

If we do, it would have to be here, since Gooch bans and deletes people who are mean.


such a whiner.
I don't believe I've seen Gooch there. He has done a bunk.
diceisgod Wrote:
Mad Wrote:At least I've never wasted ammo on a couch.

Always remember, one shot, one kill. Learn it, live it, love it.

Wasted ammo? Right. How many people have you shot? How many shots have you fired? I bet I have a far greater ammo efficiency rating. When it comes to guns and kookiness, that is the one & only thing I guarantee I have on you - and I'm not saying I shot anyone which I haven't but if you shot 50 my rating will still be higher, that's what i mean.

While I may have shot thousands of rounds, it doesn't mean jack shit because it's called practice.

Trying shooting at moving targets that shoot back then call me. Take your plus fifty and shove it.
Put away the batter mix and look again. I never said I had 50 or even 1 - though I love your aggressive tone.
diceisgod Wrote:I don't believe I've seen Gooch there. He has done a bunk.

sneaky fellow.
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