CDIH

You're obviously insane. But please...Keep it up! You're hysterical! No really, you are! Funny man!

Weeeee

Mrs. Robinson, if you don't mind my saying so, this conversation is getting a little strange

So here endeth the saga...maybe:

Edit: Actually I want the whole volley here so there's no chance of any tomfoolery (plus is a marvelous read I think anyway):

Quote: Sink
Message subject: RETREAT
I like how you retreat to safety when losing.

quitter

Quote:DIG
I advise you piss off. You don't know when to quit if you're just "playing". So just back off or keep going if there's a beef and you think I'm some stooge. Go ahead and we'll see what's what, cunt.

Quote:Sink
dance dance

Quote:DIG
Yeah yeah ...you got me reeling. WHOA...Keep it up, nutcase.

Quote:Sink
I know I got you reeling, go read you own posts.

this entire thing was planned and you have just been a pawn. Think about it.

Thanks for playing

Quote:Sink
Hold me, I'm scared

Quote:DIG
Yeah...I'm the pawn. Whoopie! You got me good! Yeah great. Whatever the case you're on my shitlist for good but I was glad to help you out with your scam and desperate need for glory & attention.

But now maybe end it soon....YOU think about it.

Because I don't care what it was - even while I am not having anythng but fun and laughing my ass off. Believe what you like as I said but once things go "over the edge" (that I will arbitrarily set in my mind) then all "planning" BS and msgbrd BS will be irrelevant.

You have no idea what "too far" is and I care not and I won't forgive or forget any thing I find as "too far" . I won't let it slide either. So again I hope this was as fun for you as much as it's been for me!

Don't let it end though! NO!...keep going...keep going...haha ....ha...yeah

Quote:Sink
That seems like a threat to me, are you threatening me?

Quote:DIG
Do you consider asking someone to stop stalking and harrassing them to stop or face consequences..."threatening"? If so, then other than being an idiot (as you are) you have have your answer.

Does that piss you off?

Quote:Sink
Nope, just wanted to make things perfectly clear.

How exactly am I harassing you by answering your posts about me?

And please explain these consequences I might have to face, love to hear them and be prepared for the e-battle.

ta taaaa

Quote:I won't explain anything. But I will say this as if "the ball is my court" as I seem to be understanding you there. So here is the last reply to you. There will be no posts to respond to as they won't concern you nor be about you nor address you. I said all I needed to say. You had your say.

Done. Or not done?

Well whatever. I think you're a nutcase but despite this I can coexist with you so long as you reciprocate as I described above.

End of story.

you realize nobody else cares. It's so fuckin stupid, yet you take it so serious. Therein lies the joke.

There are a handful of these elsewhere but I want to just leave "a taste" of my "Professional Porn Reviewer" stint here as the two below (and even though I wrote them) are my absolute favorites. I read them now & again but pretend I didn't write them so I don't feel so isolated & alone & can further fantasize that there is another out there that "really truly knows me & understands". I cry everytime and now that I re-read THIS little pre-blurb thing, I think it's content might paradoxically/cosmically apply to itself because I think I've just fuckin' done it again so watch out for any wormholes that might open up unexpectantly.

Lastly, I mentioned before (but who the fuck would remember that short of someone to fear?) and here again that I "quit" the gig. Free VOD is AWESOME. But as a "hobbyist writer" I find the "real-time", "on the spot", "on the fly" & "situational" kind the BEST. The "look at this & write something about it" kind of writing gets old and dull and not even FREE PORN can reconcile this (plus the site is a nightmare to surf...when it's even possible to surf it that is).

So the 'DIG-kind' of writing hasn't bored me to tears yet. Though it's not a 'hoax' or an 'act' as it's 'on the fly' etc. & this can sometimes get somewhat 'real-life-situational' by nature...real is real and real can be the result whether it happened to have slipped-off the msgbrd framework or whatever. So however much we (I) might try to avoid "slippage" - as I most often do being reasonable and brilliant - it's still an 'occupational hazzard' and also a great GREAT 'material generator'. That said, when I do get bored with it you MIGHT remember this 'little' post & MAYBE even notice that I MUST HAVE got bored of it...maybe. GET IT?!?! But then again maybe you won't, I forgot for a sec where I'm posting this so nevermind and here goes nothing:

The 'Old' w/ some minor editting: "The second release":

Quote:Talking For You 2

This is an amateur solo 'rub-one-out' flick which in my mind follows the standard formula: one of the girls shines, the rest embarrass themselves. As I know that it takes quite a bit of courage to put yourself out there like that (which is admirable, endearing, & yadda-fuckin-yadda) this does not mean 'critical asylum' - amateur shithouse production or no. So I will take one at a time and give you a quick first impression. If no further than first impression then you'll see why they always make a big deal out of the first impression in the first place. Further & PER my standards concerning such films (again: MY standards), if you suck in the first 10-15 secs you have given me ZERO evidence that you will be any better to be worthy my next 7-12 minutes (or what have you). Now here we go:

1) Caprice - She's laying on her bed and telling me she is laying there with her pussy. Now 'pussy' is a good word and in this context....MINT. However, she manages to F that up because she is holding in her arms a nice toy stuffed PUSSY cat. Get it? WOW. The dialog quality then plunges to the almost insane: "Do you like almost....everything I do?" Not even close to almost, sweetie...in fact a NO from Neptune is still not near far nuff...or somethin'...ne-way...NEXT.

2) Misty - I felt like I was being served by an extremely lazy, banged up waitress as she lie there draped across that little arm chair with a bruised up arm and basically recites the entire menu, the specials, & the soup of the day: "Would you like me to show you my tits first or blah or blah or blah?" BLAH.

3) Airyan Michaels - I'd say this gal was a robot as she looks over to her right every other second to what I guess are cue cards (?) as she.....speaks....like....this....so....I ....clicked...over...to....

4) Jade - FINALLY. Something to watch and friggin' good. Damn friggin' good in fact. Jade's a minx and she can work a cooter & a camera. WATCH HER. Worth it in fact one might say she is the only one worth clicking on in this vid since...

5) Olivia STINKS!. After a ham-handed "OH it's you! HIYA!!!" rap she says something like: "Your cock is really really really big. I didn't realize you were so hung". Riiiiiight. Well, I have better things to do than have my intelligence insulted. GOOOOD DAY TO YOU, DEAR! -DiggityDog (10/07)

(Side "Best Scene" Note Section)
Scene 4 is Jade's turn. Watch as she is in the 90-95% awesomeness percentile with only a few cliche douche-chill moments like the cheesy: "You like that?" - as it oddly reminded me a bit of Edith in the old sit-com 'All in the Family' for whatever reason. Fuckin' weird. But returning now from far left-field, I believe she more than makes up for the 2-3 stumbles and just kills the spot, steals the show, and demonstrates that it is indeed hard but still possible to soar like an eagle & rub your pussy when you work with turkeys. Good job, Jade! Everyone else, not so much.

And lastly, to answer Jade's questions from her set (though I think she was probbaly just being nice): "Yes, I would indeed like to suck your tits & YES, I would indeed like to fuck your pussy. So if you were serious please look me up."

Hey, it never hurts to ask so shut your fucking mouth, retard. And as for the rafter/bale/dule/posse/death-row/brood or to use a perhaps easier custom collective noun: the gobbling gaggle, I still wish you well despite your solo performing inadequacies and hope you are happy, healthy, & further I advise you watch your asses as Thanksgiving is not too far off.

The 'New' (edited)...relatively speaking anyway....but maybe this will still ring a bell somewhat...or two...if you have that many...oh I'm sorry & nevermind....I forgot...Me and Goat are cool again....still...I hope:

Quote:Quick Strokes Vol. 2

Chloe or Chloe Nicole is a proud & distinguished member of the 'Itty Bitty Titty Commitee'. She is also the CEO & Board Chair of the 'Fuck Like an Animal' corporation. Moreover, she is the 'Fucking Queen of ALL Porn Stars & Fucking' as I happen to like itty bitties & LOVE her above all. It's...not...even...friggin...close regarding others who fuck with MAYBE half of the passion and animalistic fervor. Actually and to be fair, Tory Lane (& not counting her sporadic "she's forcing the issue & this really sucks" issues), who Chloe unseated atop my personal list just a sec ago in fact, is quite excellent too overall. BUT Chloe is on another level just a tad or a parsec or two above TL's own but still very respectable 'all-by-herself level'.

I tried to give all the other girls a watch in this film, but none really stood out to me so I won't say they were bad (but they probably were if not flat-out an embarassment & a friggin' joke). My FULL concentration was on Chloe and her three scenes. All are outstanding despite the pesky & pervasive film-splicer's & editor's attempts to fuck them up...the fuckers. Again & despite, Chloe makes the best of the would-be sabotage that is incompetence & talentlessness which are STILL an unchecked scourge in this scum-riddled industry (big surprise & big whoop...let's move on).

She's just a fucking maniac, out of her friggin' mind. When she pops she thrashes like no other, eyes roll-up in the back of her head, mutters her trademark: "CUMMING....CUMMING....CUMMING..." and 'WATCH THE FUCK OUT' when she does. Soooo incredible and (again... for the slow people) my All-Time Favorite (until the next random chick I stumble across changes my tune as I thought the same and made the same grand claims when I first 'met' Tory Lane - I'm not very loyal I guess, but then again I watch porn & my soul is completely blackened & shredded...but don't worry you're MUCH better than me...rest assured...JERKOFF...let's fucking move on).

Let's breakdown her scenes and provide the 'heads-up' to anyone straight & interested that might be able to make-use of this OR foolishly breeze-over half-heartedly as though they AREN'T retardedly dismissing the best and brightest reviewer they ever will fucking have the unworthy pleasure of making use of...EVER. Scene 3 is THE best scene of the flick. Chloe is a full & total package as she does all the right things and has an arsenal of "intangibles" that are fully exploited here - if only by accident and not thanks to the most-oftly inept splicers & editors...as everybody gets lucky & undeserved credit from time to time. Specifically though, one will thankfully & surprisingly NOT hear drowning-out CRAP music (<<foreshadowing) that is probably recorded, performed & "begged to be" slapped-on these-type films by one of the main movie producer's or director's or such's delinquent nephew or idiot son who wants to be a bigshot recording artist but is really a piece of garbage (<<more f.s.). Nepotism rocks, dude! So you get it ALL right here in this scene: THE Chloe Experience.... right here. Chloe is in a locker room taking a 'cock-ramming & a half' by some fucking jerk and you can hear all her mutterings and whispers and man oh fucking man is she fucking AWESOME.

So the next scene with her is scene 5. Enter 'headbanging bullshit' & foreshadowed music that pretty much drowns-out all the beautiful Chloe-isms & other inherent joys of GOOD porn flicks: the fuckme&misc-whisperings, the flesh-slappings & the fluid-slurpings (to name a few). But like I say, 'Chloe makes it work'...'The BEST' do that sometimes....actually ALL the fucking time, fucking or fucking otherwise. So Chloe does that thing there I mentioned and JUST by being the greatest EVER (by a cosmically-astronomic-motherfucking mile...so pay attention and maybe you'll learn something) and as such JUST by being her bloody-damn-great psychotic self. It's much the same 'tune' regarding her next scene but MUCH WORSE a 'real' tune as ytou will see...or hear actually (GET IT?!?!...DAMN I'M GOOD!...Well take it easy as you MIGHT 'get it' as you read on..if not then still, worry as you are a complete dope & trouble is a foregone & no-need-to-foreshadow conclusion...GOOD LUCK...let's move on).

Scene 7 is Chloe's 3rd scene and again we have something that I guess is "music" fucking screetching over all the good stuff. I guess it's like techno except really really bad and a disservice to techno music to label it as such? Just fucking pitiful, awful, the WORST thing I ever heard. Good move! So Chloe is Chloe and she makes do with doodoo. And there it is: Chloe is a Goddess that fucks with demonic passion and I love her with all my heart. Watch her and love her and if you don't feel the same way you are wrong - & probably much much worse off as time will attest and if that plays-out please PLEASE complain about it on every messageboard you can find. -DiggityDog

I think this might be another jewel for the crown. I think I am the first person EVER in the history of .NET to get the ban....albeit temporary and albeI wrong.

Goatweed can maybe verify or disverify this remarkable undisputed fact but neverdaless... this is one of my favs ever and if he says I wasn't the first ever to get banned there... he's lying.

the ban list is pretty long there, sorry man but you're far from the first. I guess I'm lying.

Well I bet I was the first one not selling Viagra, pictures of girls screwing dogs, or some shit like that.

nah, real people are banned from there. Doug is, for example.

Well whatever, I got more rape & retard children jokes and coochie close-up sig pics for them if they want to keep playing games.

Nobody fucks with DIG, DIG does the fuckin!

How many times were you raped as a child?

Leave the rape jokes to the professionals.

diceisgod Wrote:Well whatever, I got more rape & retard children jokes and coochie close-up sig pics for them if they want to keep playing games.

Nobody fucks with DIG, DIG does the fuckin!

that'll just get you banned forever though.

They got their buttons and I got mine.

Can't out-post me and wanna be a faggot...welll what else can a nigga do?

It'd be their/your loss and my next trophy.

Might as well tell that pussy to make it a permanent ban....it's just gonna be more pussy for the pussy who acts like a pussy.

Oh and this deserves a home here too...for my new buddy Marty.

so this board truly is *the* only one that never banned posters no matter what drama may have ensued and for that I say kudos.