let's face it most movies stink and what makes it worse are the shitty, "happy" endings that they have. So what I want to do is describe how you'd end a movie that would make it far better.
E.g.
John Q: The cops shoot John Q's heart out, the son swallows his heart and gets better
any romantic movie: Completely, gory conclusion taking the audience by surprise
NAVY Seals: The entire platoon i s wiped out by ninjas
Edited By IkeaBoy on Feb. 19 2002 at 01:21
i would change citizen kain's last word to "schwing"
fbdlingfrg Wrote:i would change citizen kain's last word to "schwing"
would you also have Ingrid Bergman and Dooley Wilson parachuting out of a plane at the end of Casablanca?
Edited By IkeaBoy on Feb. 19 2002 at 01:43
IkeaBoy Wrote:would you also have Ingrid Bergman and Dooley Wilson parachuting out of a plane at the end of Casablanca?
yes i would.but i need jay's oil or i'll die
I would have Dante get killed at the end of Clerks.
i would have maximus NOT die at the end of gladiator.
A horrible bus accident claims the lives of the Spice girls 3 minutes into the movie. It would be worth the $8.50 at least.
Edited By Sephiroth on Feb. 19 2002 at 09:15
Animated talking puppy mauls entire family while they sleep.
At the end of one of those teen horror flicks it turns out that there was no murderer, and everyone who died just had really weird accidents.
Completely change the ending of historical movies. Like Ben Affleck singlehandedly stops the Pearl Harbor attack from happening with just his charm and rugged good looks.
I also agree on gory endings to romance and comedy movies. I always thought it would be hilarious to see the reaction of people change so dramatically. It's something that Andy Kaufmann would have done.
Edited By Galt on Feb. 19 2002 at 10:29
Sephiroth Wrote:A horrible bus accident claims the lives of the Spice girls 3 minutes into the movie. It would be worth the $8.50 at least.
luv it!!!!!
Stephen King's The Stand
Instead of nuking Las Vegas, I would have had an epic battle between the good community in Colorado and the evil community in Las Vegas. Think Braveheart with pruning shears and baseball bats instead of swords and battle axes. And mix in some really weird magic stuff between the old black lady and Flagg!!
Arthur Dent Wrote:Stephen King's The Stand
Instead of nuking Las Vegas, I would have had an epic battle between the good community in Colorado and the evil community in Las Vegas. Think Braveheart with pruning shears and baseball bats instead of swords and battle axes. And mix in some really weird magic stuff between the old black lady and Flagg!!
this would actually be better. that hand of god shit was a cop-out.
fbdlingfrg Wrote:i would change citizen kain's last word to "schwing"
the depths of your ignorance sir.
I would have made the end of Fight Club different.
I would have made it so that the buildings never actually blew up, the "project mayhem" conspiracy wasn't as widespreading, and Tyler Durden (whose alter-ego's name shouldn't have been 'Jack', it should have been something cooler like 'Joe' ) blows his brains out.
Then at the end, he isn't sure of exactly what happened and he thinks he's actually dead and in heaven, but he's actually in a mental institution. Then in the last scenes, this janitor is sweeping up, or an orderly is bringing food, and they've all got black eyes, and broken noses and shit. They lean in and say stuff like "We all miss you Mr. Durden" "Everything's going according to plan" "We can't wait 'til you come back, Mr. Durden"
That would have been so much sweeter than the actual ending.
Edited By Galt on Feb. 19 2002 at 1:20
Galt Wrote:I would have made the end of Fight Club different.
I would have made it so that the buildings never actually blew up, the "project mayhem" conspiracy wasn't as widespreading, and Tyler Durden (whose alter-ego's name shouldn't have been 'Jack', it should have been something cooler like 'Joe' ) blows his brains out.
Then at the end, he isn't sure of exactly what happened and he thinks he's actually dead and in heaven, but he's actually in a mental institution. Then in the last scenes, this janitor is sweeping up, or an orderly is bringing food, and they've all got black eyes, and broken noses and shit. They lean in and say stuff like "We all miss you Mr. Durden" "Everything's going according to plan" "We can't wait 'til you come back, Mr. Durden"
That would have been so much sweeter than the actual ending.
The main character's name wasn't really Jack. They just used Jack as a reference since the main character wasn't supposed to have a name. If I remember correctly from reading the book he didn't have a name there either.
As for my choice I would change the Phantom Menace where the Trade Federaton and Anakin/Obi-Wan/Amidala/Qui-Gon/whoever would team up and kill George Lucas but bring back to life with the force to kill him again. Each time being more painful than the last. I think it would make at least a couple billion dollars.
AdolescentMasturbator Wrote:The main character's name wasn't really Jack. They just used Jack as a reference since the main character wasn't supposed to have a name. If I remember correctly from reading the book he didn't have a name there either.
You must not remember reading the book very well.
Galt Wrote:You must not remember reading the book very well.
i haven't read it in awhile but I don't think he had a name in the book either
Quote:I am Joe's Complete Lack of Surprise
Page 138
Fight Club
Chuck Palahniuk
Get it?
fbdlingfrg Wrote:i would change citizen kain's last word to "schwing"
Why, I got it right the first time!!!
Galt Wrote:Quote:I am Joe's Complete Lack of Surprise
Page 138
Fight Club
Chuck Palahniuk
Get it?
he used different names to personify feelings throughout the book.
IkeaBoy Wrote:Galt Wrote:Quote:I am Joe's Complete Lack of Surprise
Page 138
Fight Club
Chuck Palahniuk
Get it?
he used different names to personify feelings throughout the book.
Nope, it was Joe throughout the book, just like it was Jack throughout the movie. And I know it wasn't his "real name" but that he just used it from that magazine he read. However, when people talk about Edward Norton's character in the movie or book, they have to refer to him by some name (Jack or Joe). I have no idea why they felt the need to change his name.
Just to stop the confusion. My point was, the movie should have been like the book. The only complaint that anyone has about the movie is the ending, the rest of the movie was great. Coincidentally, the rest of the movie was like the book, but they changed the ending in the movie to add big explosions and a tidy ending, which was kind of weak.
What I posted, was the ending of the book, but no one picked up on it.