CDIH

Can we play the story game? You write a piece of the story to pick up where the post before you let off.

A man wakes up alone in the desert, he is joined by his dog & a suitcase. He has no memory of getting there, but he does remember pieces of the night before. ... ...

"g-d Damn it", the man says. Looking to his left, he sees an empty bottom of Jack Daniel's and half empty bottle of Tequila. He tries to wipe the nasty taste from his mouth as he grabs his suitcase and stands up.

firzt he wonders why his dog is smiling

he has hazy memories of a stipper making nice with the dog, what sort of batchelor party was that? He came to Vegas to get married, by Elvis, to his HS sweetheart. But where was she now & why did he have a trian ticket in his pocket ...

He and his dog, Harpua, are both badly bruised and full of Sand. The last thing he can remember is being at a concert in Las Vegas. Now he's marooned, staring at the Dark Side of the Moon. Luckily, his briefcase still contains his Stash.....

As he feels the train ticket in his pocket, he notices this tightie whities are alittle wet in the back. he tries to clinch his butt cheeks but realizes that it hurts really bad. "oh crap".

He feels the diarreha (sp) ready to go, he hopes the Opps I Crapped My Pants are in his bag. Maybe he isn't even in Nevada anymore, could this be Mexico, where is the bottle of water from?

Just then a car appears in the distance, in a cloud of dust. He watches it come from the horizon ...

As the car gets closer, he brushes himself off. he checks his suitcase just make sure his stash is totally in there. He notices he has a gun in the door part of the suitcase. He locks it up, and starts walking towards the car, with his dog following him.. as the car is coming closer, he notices the car is driving at a very high speed. he then suddenly stops walking, with a terrored look on his face. "oh no, they found me. how'd they find me?"

The car skids to a stop, and his mother exits from the drivers door. She says, "Listen son, now I'm not mad at you...." then folowing an uncomfortable pause she says, "I'm just dissappointed(sp) in you..."

"effin' circus midgets!" he thought to himself. i guess they can't take a joke. how was he supposed to know that 29 of the 42 that piled into the pt cruiser had perished because of the lit smoke that he had tossed in the back seat after nailing a $20 whore?

how did they track him down?

how did he get here?

where the fuck is here?

and why is dear old mom chasing after me with them?



Edited By LZMF1 on 1044025354

As his mom looks at him, he sees a mole on her lip that he had never noticed before.. "i am sorry mom." he walks over to his mom. as he is walking, he opens up the briefcase and pulls out the gun. he shots her right between the eyes. she falls back right into the sand. "Damn midgets trying to impersonate my mom." he rips open his mom's clothes and finds.....

Another train ticket ... to Altuna ...

In a moment of haste he decides a beating by 13 circus midgets, in front of one's bleeding mother, would not be a good start to this strange day. So he turns & dashes for the vast wasteland of desert. Hr runs with all his might, though he hears his mother call & the rustle of foot steps as the midgets try to chase him.

Soon he collapes in the dust, his dog flops down beside him, the midgets are gone, but he may not be any better off. In the distance there may be a house. He can't tell yet. ... but are they friend or foe ....



Edited By Hey Ladi on 1044025386

This just turned into choose your own adventure...

If you pick L1's post....

He finds his penis in a jar hidden in his mother's coat...

If you pick Ladi's post....

He passes out again for an unknown ammount of time only to be revived by his dog licking his face...

Harpua begins barking and a large creature emerges from the house. Before he can protest our protagonist is picked up and thrown over the giant's shoulder. He is carried over a radish garden and thrown into a bed inside. "Hello," the monster says, "I'm Junior Gorge!"

errrrr.....scratch that.


carry on



Edited By LZMF1 on 1044025734

"I used to have a problem with steriods. Now I live alone in the desert. No one comments on my man tits here."

Our man asks, "where are we? is this Nevada or Mexico"

"You're way off, this is the Outback."

Our man looks up & notices it is a sheep farm.

WOOHOOO!!!!

in much excitement and anticipation he rubs a few out drooling like a rabid dog with the thoughts of his wooly sex toys dancing in his head. (he is a sick bastard)

"They farm sheep and radishes behind the Outback steakhouse? I never would have guessed that was the secret ingrediant!" The man was shocked. Junior Gorg smiled. "Well I don't need sheep anymore! Now I have you!" And he began to carve a self-portrait into the man's forehead.

after junior grog does his handywork on him he checks himself in the mirror and is taken aback when he sees that it's gone!!!!! how can that be?!?!? he had just felt the pain of having a portriat carved into his skin with broken glass.


the thought of the sheep whisked the questions away.................


what to do? what to do?

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But our hero was quick, he grabbed his bag & split ... Junior was slow, and his tits tripped him up.

So now we find our hero, no better off, he has 2 train tickets, one to Altuna, one to Miami .... when he really wanted a plane ticket to Hawaii, maybe his wife went on ahead ...... wait, was he married yet, was that yesterday? was it today?

He couldn't remember. So he sat down & broke into the stash .... oz of weed, an assortment of pills, some sort of liquid ...