05-23-2003, 06:32 PM
Ok, A friend sent this to me and i thought it was very funny. I hope you do to.
Subject: Man's Diary
Dear Diary,
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women
differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole 'Venus and
Mars'
thing. I've also never figured out why men think with their head while
women think with their heart. And I've yet have figure out how the
sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears
the words "I do".
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says: "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me". I said: "WHAT??????"
So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread.
She
explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a
Woman. I'm thinking: "What was her first clue?". I finally realize
that
nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.
The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department
store.
I walked around with her while she tried on three different very
expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told
her
to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching
shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say ok. And then we go to the
jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must have thought that
I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I
think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because
she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I
told her that it was ok. She was so excited by all of this when she
finally said: "I'm ready to go to the cash register".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out: "No, honey don't feel
like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face......
it
went completely blank. I then said: "Really honey! I just want you to
HOLD this stuff for a while". And just when she had this look like
she
was going to kill me I added: "You must not be in tune with my
financial needs as a Man".
I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the
spring of 2008.
But I bet he felt great doing it. :21:
Subject: Man's Diary
Dear Diary,
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women
differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole 'Venus and
Mars'
thing. I've also never figured out why men think with their head while
women think with their heart. And I've yet have figure out how the
sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears
the words "I do".
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says: "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me". I said: "WHAT??????"
So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread.
She
explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a
Woman. I'm thinking: "What was her first clue?". I finally realize
that
nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.
The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department
store.
I walked around with her while she tried on three different very
expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told
her
to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching
shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say ok. And then we go to the
jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must have thought that
I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I
think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because
she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I
told her that it was ok. She was so excited by all of this when she
finally said: "I'm ready to go to the cash register".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out: "No, honey don't feel
like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face......
it
went completely blank. I then said: "Really honey! I just want you to
HOLD this stuff for a while". And just when she had this look like
she
was going to kill me I added: "You must not be in tune with my
financial needs as a Man".
I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the
spring of 2008.
But I bet he felt great doing it. :21:
