Right before I left school, on my way out to the graduation ceremony, my roommate upper-decked our toilet. We had both moved all our crap out to our cars and were leaving for good after the ceremony, so he figured what the hell.
The guy who was going to move into that room didn't move in until about two weeks later...they said he screamed like a woman when he walked into that bathroom.
Edited By Doc on 1062176701
the thought of that smell frightens me.
After two weeks it would just disintegrate into a brown soupy smelly mess. The horror.
stop. the visual is almost too much to bear.
The thought of him screaming "Oh my God" after lifting the tank cover still gives me the giggles
in high school some kid would always shit on the floor in the bathroom in the locker room
these shits were monsters too
So ... who else compares their cheetos to recent shits they've taken?
About a month ago I was driving home from work and my belly was killing me.
I had a super turd knocking on my asshole wanting out.
After berating myself for not shitting at work I did the unthinkable.
I stopped at a gas station.
I had to go i and get a key, of course, so when I stuck the key in the lock and opened the door...
This smell of Jew death hit me in the face. Someone had shit all over the toilet, man.
On the floor, on the tank, some in the bowl etc. you know the kind.
The kicker is...
Not only was the shit fresh but it had finger swipe marks in it like the culprit had slipped and put their hand down to catch their balance.
Well needless to say I couldn't shit there not to mention I had to return the key.
So I go back into the store to return the key and there are customers all over the place.
I sometimes stop at this store for gas so I feel like I have to tell the clerk about the bathroom just to assure myself they don't think I did it.
I lean over to the clerk and say "Hey man, someone destroyed that bathroom and I just wanted you to know it wasn't me".
The clerk looked just over my shoulder and said "Do you have something to tell me, sir?"
I turned around and the dude who had borrowed the bathroom key just before I did was still in the store! He looked at the clerk and said "I'm sorry, I'm alittle sick...I'm looking for Pepto Bismol right now".
I felt like a tatle tale but hey man.
If you were going to do something like that...wouldn't you leave the scene of the crime?
Yeah when I'm sick I always smear shit all over the bathroom. That is, the shit I don't eat.
diceisgod Wrote:Yeah when I'm sick I always smear shit all over the bathroom. That is, the shit I don't eat.
I've got two words for you, ace: Tic Tacs
so does anyone else not have to take a shit for days and not realize it until you get doubled over in pain and end up feeling like your apendix has burst and you sit on the toilet for like 3 straight hours until your anus is raw?
Eat more vegetables or a salad, then you wouldn't have that problem.
Galt Wrote:so does anyone else not have to take a shit for days and not realize it until you get doubled over in pain and end up feeling like your apendix has burst and you sit on the toilet for like 3 straight hours until your anus is raw?
joobies is like that, weirdos
HedCold Wrote:Galt Wrote:so does anyone else not have to take a shit for days and not realize it until you get doubled over in pain and end up feeling like your apendix has burst and you sit on the toilet for like 3 straight hours until your anus is raw?
joobies is like that, weirdos
:17:
She's lady and doesn't do such things. Have you no shame?
The next time you take a shit, don't take one of mine.