CDIH

Take a dump and the log was so big that you can't believe your asshole was able to accomodate it. I just did.
I assume lots of pedestrian homo jokes will now follow.

See when you say you're gonna get jokes made about you...it's not as much fun. You gotta pretend like you don't see it coming...


FAG!

OH! You got me! I didn't see that coming.

yes.

what's worse is when are taking a shit and it takes so long to come out and you can't wait to get up and look with prideful joy at your accomplishment and it's just a teeny little shit.

that pisses me off.

One time I was at a house party of one of my mother's friends. There were like 50 people there. I was pretty young at the time and I was out playing with the other kids. So I felt this monster wet shit coming on. I worked my way through the crowd and went to the bathroom. Things were really getting anxious and I could feel the shit getting ready to explode out of my ass.

I finally reach the bathroom and in one fell swoop I slam the bathroom door shut, whip down my pants, flick on the light, sit down on the toilet and let her rip. Problem: I was in such a hurry I didn't even look to see that the fucking toilet lid was down. Shit was fucking everywhere. I was in that bathrrom for a fucking hour scared to death, wiping shit off my legs, back, the walls, and the fuzzy toilet seat cover that was on the lid. I told noone but someone must have known something bad happened in there. The toilet paper was full when i got in there but there was barely any left when I finally got out. It truly does happen.

Second or third week of my first semester of college. It must have been at least 16" long, 4" wide, no joke. It was from the bottom of the bowl up to about 4" out of the water. It didn't even hurt coming out, it felt completely normal. And the weirdest part was it was the cleanest shit I ever took, just 1 wipe was all I needed. I didn't even bother trying to flush; I knew I'd just end up running out of the bathroom with a trail of water behind me.

So 10 minutes later someone was going room to room inviting people in to look at it, wondering if it were real or some (excellent) prank. Of course I didn't admit to it, I was still new to these people. One guy insisted it came from a gay guy. I just laughed along and denied everything. Then some hick managed to flush it down, and the greatest accomplishment of my life was gone ... just like that.

Ah, college.

diceisgod Wrote:One time I was at a house party of one of my mother's friends. There were like 50 people there. I was pretty young at the time and I was out playing with the other kids. So I felt this monster wet shit coming on. I worked my way through the crowd and went to the bathroom. Things were really getting anxious and I could feel the shit getting ready to explode out of my ass.

I finally reach the bathroom and in one fell swoop I slam the bathroom door shut, whip down my pants, flick on the light, sit down on the toilet and let her rip. Problem: I was in such a hurry I didn't even look to see that the fucking toilet lid was down. Shit was fucking everywhere. I was in that bathrrom for a fucking hour scared to death, wiping shit off my legs, back, the walls, and the fuzzy toilet seat cover that was on the lid. I told noone but someone must have known something bad happened in there. The toilet paper was full when i got in there but there was barely any left when I finally got out. It truly does happen.

I pray that my stories are as good.

Do you ever take a look and try and see what chocolate bar your poop resembles.

no.

I like to look at it and see if i can tell what meal of the day it came from. I use onions, corn, sesame seeds and red peppers as references.

you throw a miscarriage or two and a bloody hooker into that story and it would be comedy gold!

Quote:It was from the bottom of the bowl up to about 4" out of the water

Ahh...the periscope, very nice

My personal best was this one that pulled a Magellan and went all the way around the bowl. Right at the water-line, it was a perfect circle. It almost brought a tear to my eye when I had to flush

I had this gigantic monster shit about 6 months.. Hurt coming out of my ass, was huge, stuck out of the bowl.... So, I decide to flush , halway knowing that the toilet will probably clog.. So , i flush, and it starts to overflow and then I hear this loud scream coming from my downstairs bathroom. My roomate was in the downstairs bathroom shaving, when all of a sudden all of this water seeped through the ceiling onto his head, from my overlowing toilet.

I overflowed the toilet at work last week and just whistled as I left it for some other person to find.

When I was in grade school there was a kid in the class that always had to shit right in the middle of class. The thing is is that he would never flush and whoever went in after him had to find it. I never got to see it first hand cause I wasn't stupid enough to go in after he was done, but the stories I heard earned him the nickname Bat Boy (baseball bat, not the thing that flies around at graveyards)

in kindergarden i took a shit right there in my pants. i asked to go the nurse and told her i wanted to go home cause i felt ill. i think i was trying to fart and miscalculated.

Quote:Did you ever........

<insert wacky subject matter>


This concept has been played. Please, refrain from ever using this format for new threads ever again. Next time, just use a real title, "Amazed at the shit in my Ass", so as to make my reading of the board much easier.

Thank you. :bow:

In grade school this 'special ed' kid took a nasty dump in urinal. The Janitor was so pissed off we could hear him cursing down the hall.

ok, a year after the fact, I just realized who you were on oa.com, madmickwop. Thank you, please continue with this thread.