CDIH

so I am watching fox news the other day and what do I see? Finally a lawsuit to beat out having to use the "mickey d's hot coffee lady" as the example for all bad law suits and acts of stupidity.

Here is the case, this is a stroke of brilliance.

A couple is suing K-mart I believe it was or a stop n shop, something of that sort. Their woes began when their cashier seems to have put too many items in one bag, which does happen and thats why I bag my own groceries. So the paper bag tore and a jar of mayo fell on the ladies foot and fractured her ankle. The only problem is that it happened after they had already gotten home.

I mean if you felt that the bag was over stuffed, ask for a double bagging or do it yourself. If you didn't do that and you felt the bag was over burdened then handle it properly, it wouldn't tear if you held it by the bottom.

Anyway here's the kicker they arent suing for lost wages cause ofcourse she doesn't work. They dont want medical bills paid cause the husbands insurance from his fine job at Target has paid for her bills. They aren't even suing for mental anguish or anything, they are suing cause they can't have sex anymore.

The ankle has healed but they can't fuck anymore, the husband wants compensation cause his wife ain't as "intimate" anymore. What the fuck does her ankle have to do with sex? I mean unless they got some freaky shit goin on. But no matter how strenious their fucking is, I mean plenty of athletes bust their ankles up and sure they're side lined for a while but then they come back and compete in aggresive contact sports. This bitch can't suck his cock cause her ankle hurts? It's almost as silly as when AIMP's nose would bleed when he masturbated.

and here i thought i was opening this to see a story about getting mayo all over your foot, thus ruining a chance at ass...

I don't have one of those

I do have an: "eclair + anal cavity + my mom = no sex" story.

eggplant + filipino boy = LOLOL

i thought it was a story about someone trying to have sex with mayo and a foot

i thought it was about sleeper and chicka

oh snap! a callback

so did they win the lawsuit, or is it sill in progress? This could set a new precedent for grocery bagging!!

still in progress as far as I know.

I this lawsuit will hinge on whether the cashier asked the lady for paper or plastic, because if she did, and the lady said paper, the lawsuit might no longer hold the little bit of water it has.

What is this bitch doing with her ankle thats prohibiting her from engaging in sex? Do they play naked soccer as a part of foreplay? Does she insert her foot into her hubby's ass, and then spend the next hour trying to pull it out, while her husband screams and ejaculates as she plays hacky-sack with his prostate?

Lt. Dan got ass in Forrest Gump, and he had no legs!

Quote:Do they play naked soccer as a part of foreplay? Does she insert her foot into her hubby's ass, and then spend the next hour trying to pull it out, while her husband screams and ejaculates as she plays hacky-sack with his prostate?

thanks for the ideas!

freak

That's what I'm here for, Goat. If you wanna spice up your sex life, I have a whole assortment of ideas that just pop into my head.

I'll be walking down the street, on the concrete sidewalk, with the thin trees growing out of a 3' x 3' spot of dirt along the curb, and a potato chip bag float by in the wind, and I think to myself, How great would it be if I shoved Monopoly hotel pieces into a girls twat and then fuck her?

I'll be watching an episode of ER at 10am, and as Anthony Edwards spurts a patients blood all about the trauma room, and Eriq La Salle shows off his awesome forarms while he pumps some dude's heart in his bare hands, and I think , How great would it be if while I was fucking some broad, I took a scalpel out from beneath the pillow, cut open her chest, then whipped out a sternal saw, cut her chest in two, and then reached in, with my free hand mind you, and ripped her still beating heart, still attached at the aorta, and just pump more blood down into her vaginal area, and make her scream in orgasmic delight?

Those are just some thing I've been working on. The techinques will be detailed in my soon-to-be-published book entitled, "I Don't Know What Was In The Bag, But I Smoked It and This Was The Result", printed by Penguin Books, and available at your corner bookstore in the Fictional Biography section.

i want an autographed copy

If you have long legs, you can do the techinque, which I refer to as the Red Forman Manuever, by yourself.

damn. i'm tiny.

I have a foot.

Quote:Lt. Dan got ass in Forrest Gump, and he had no legs!

Chicks dig magic legs.