03-27-2004, 06:43 AM
A little story since I been away, true story by the way.
I'm sitting in my car listening some R. Kelly, smoking a cigarette while waiting for my cousin to come down so we can get to where we need to go. He's takin his sweet ass time (he's the colored cousin so he's on that delayed negro time schedule).
So anyway I move my car up a bit cause I was sitting right under the sun and it was getting stuffy. Then I roll down the window and these negros from across the street start fighting, it was quite a sight. All the other negros stopped their basketball game and swung over like the apes they are. Atleast they have evolved past primal grunts and beating their chests with cupping their hands by their fat lips and yellin "oh shit a fight!!!".
Unfortunatly there's a precinct on the block and the fight was halted mad quick, I didnt even figure out what it was about but it wasn't important cause something else had caught my sight.
All of a sudden a seagull just plops out the sky and falls within a few feet of my car on the curb. Then I look up and theres another seagull flyin around with a wrapper in his mouth and it falls out of his mouth. It lands on the curb by the seagull that fell down. At a closer inspection I see its a wrapper from nathans and there must be some yummy residue stuck on it, probably one of those yummy big sloppy's (which I still have yet to try but from the picture it looks amazing)
So then the real fight ensues, the seagull that was in flight swoops down to get the wrapper and the other one had gotten up by now. There was a huge size difference between them, the one who had fallen was half the size of the other one. So I named them biggie and puffy. So they start circling eachother and biggie spreads out his wings and lets out a screech which makes puffy walk back but it seemed more like a moonwalk. What neither had noticed was a couple woodpeckers whom I named the woody crew had crept in and started picking at the wrapper.
Just when it starts getting good and biggie is prepared to strike this stupid negro walks by and sees the battle and decides to walk past them (not a bird but an actual negro) and scares them off. Everyone flies off and this negro keeps walking around and at first I thought he was doin the crip walk but at a closer look turns out he had down syndrome and just walked that way cause he was retarded. It explained why he found it amusing to scare off the birds cause he's a retard.
So after the retarded crip has had his fun and walked away the pigeons which prove they are rats with wings, creep in and start pecking at the wrapper damn vultures. But all of a sudden puffy comes back and scares off the pigeons by bobbing his head coincidentely like a pigeon and then letting out a loud screech which sounded a lot like him sayin (bad boy, told that we won't stop).
But as puffy is claiming that he invented the remix to scare off the pigeons and woodpeckers who started to creep back, biggie swoops in out of the sky and grabs up the wrapper. Puffy flys up after him and they start to circle and biggie ends up dropping the wrapper again. It lands by the trash can and as I watch it fall I look up and notice that biggie just gives up and flies off. Puffy figures he's won and does a victory dance but before he knows it someone has stolen his shit.
A squirrel comes outta the trash can and jets in and steals the wrapper and makes off with it like a bandit. This squirrel was bad, so I called him Pac.
The most interesting fact, is that this whole thing lasted about 20 minutes and notice not once did I interrupt the story to say "and then my cousin showed up"
fuckin negro kept me there for another 15 minutes.
I'm sitting in my car listening some R. Kelly, smoking a cigarette while waiting for my cousin to come down so we can get to where we need to go. He's takin his sweet ass time (he's the colored cousin so he's on that delayed negro time schedule).
So anyway I move my car up a bit cause I was sitting right under the sun and it was getting stuffy. Then I roll down the window and these negros from across the street start fighting, it was quite a sight. All the other negros stopped their basketball game and swung over like the apes they are. Atleast they have evolved past primal grunts and beating their chests with cupping their hands by their fat lips and yellin "oh shit a fight!!!".
Unfortunatly there's a precinct on the block and the fight was halted mad quick, I didnt even figure out what it was about but it wasn't important cause something else had caught my sight.
All of a sudden a seagull just plops out the sky and falls within a few feet of my car on the curb. Then I look up and theres another seagull flyin around with a wrapper in his mouth and it falls out of his mouth. It lands on the curb by the seagull that fell down. At a closer inspection I see its a wrapper from nathans and there must be some yummy residue stuck on it, probably one of those yummy big sloppy's (which I still have yet to try but from the picture it looks amazing)
So then the real fight ensues, the seagull that was in flight swoops down to get the wrapper and the other one had gotten up by now. There was a huge size difference between them, the one who had fallen was half the size of the other one. So I named them biggie and puffy. So they start circling eachother and biggie spreads out his wings and lets out a screech which makes puffy walk back but it seemed more like a moonwalk. What neither had noticed was a couple woodpeckers whom I named the woody crew had crept in and started picking at the wrapper.
Just when it starts getting good and biggie is prepared to strike this stupid negro walks by and sees the battle and decides to walk past them (not a bird but an actual negro) and scares them off. Everyone flies off and this negro keeps walking around and at first I thought he was doin the crip walk but at a closer look turns out he had down syndrome and just walked that way cause he was retarded. It explained why he found it amusing to scare off the birds cause he's a retard.
So after the retarded crip has had his fun and walked away the pigeons which prove they are rats with wings, creep in and start pecking at the wrapper damn vultures. But all of a sudden puffy comes back and scares off the pigeons by bobbing his head coincidentely like a pigeon and then letting out a loud screech which sounded a lot like him sayin (bad boy, told that we won't stop).
But as puffy is claiming that he invented the remix to scare off the pigeons and woodpeckers who started to creep back, biggie swoops in out of the sky and grabs up the wrapper. Puffy flys up after him and they start to circle and biggie ends up dropping the wrapper again. It lands by the trash can and as I watch it fall I look up and notice that biggie just gives up and flies off. Puffy figures he's won and does a victory dance but before he knows it someone has stolen his shit.
A squirrel comes outta the trash can and jets in and steals the wrapper and makes off with it like a bandit. This squirrel was bad, so I called him Pac.
The most interesting fact, is that this whole thing lasted about 20 minutes and notice not once did I interrupt the story to say "and then my cousin showed up"
fuckin negro kept me there for another 15 minutes.
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