CDIH

i want a shot glass

st louis style ribs!

...and Ozzie Smith's shoes.

I got skipped over, I am fredo.

i just realized, tino martinez isn't on the cardinals anymore you know...

damn....you're right, he's on Tampa now.

Sorry Arpi - thanks anyway!

1. get pujols age- galt
2. get arch elevator info - galt
3. tino on bat - goatweed
4. 2 shot glasses - danked
5. pujols bobble head - alkie
6. ladies red thong - sleeper
7. surprise - hedcold
8. keychain - sweet angel

well the arch has a gimbled 7 car tram on either side of the arch. the cool thing about the arch is the way that fucker moves in the wind. we were rockin and rollin at the top.

as to the other gifts, i purchased the thong, bobble head, and keychain as i entered Busch stadium. i tucked them into my knapsack and headed down to my seats. we got there really early as i like to watch batting practice and i figured it my give me a chance to get close to pujols in order to ask him the age question for galt. my seats were 5 rows behind the cards dugout so i was able to stand right by the on deck circle during the batting practice. i shot the shit with some coaches for awhile and then, lo and behold, out walks pujols.
i immediately reached for Alkies pujols bobble head and asked pujols to sign it. he came right over and put his john hancock on the doll and we started taking baseball. he was really cool and we hit off. after what seemed like half an hour he asked if me and my girl wanted to hang out with some friends of his after the game. we said sure and he handed us some passes to meet him in the locker room after the game. the game was good but we spent most of the time checking out the stadium. game ends, cards lose. we make our way down to the locker room. albert sees us and starts introducing us to all of the guys and then shows us around the place. in a corner of the room i see some old bats and albert tells us that those are some of tinos old bats that he had autographed for some charity before he got traded and they hadnt gotten around to shipping them to him yet. i tell him about goatweed and his gift and albert say no problem and hands one to me. score! so we leave and wait for albert outside the locker room. albert finally comes out
and gives us a lift in his escalde to some steak house. we wait at the bar for his friends who end up being edmonds, lankford, and renteria.
well we get a table and we are all stone cold munchin down the ribeyes when a couple of angry cubs fans start harrassing the guys. figuring i sort of owe them for being so cool to us, i pull out the autographed tino bat and start thrashing the crap out of them. unfortunately this concludes with the bat being splinters, sorry goatweed.
after all of that excitement my girl reminds me that we have a plane to catch so we thank albert and the guys and head to the airport.
she and i are talking in the cab about how nice they were when all of a sudden i realize that we stiffed them on the bill and i forgot to ask alberts real age. sorry albert, sorry galt.
everything goes welll at the airport check in but at the security check they confiscate the key ring. i didnt know that it had a nail file in the side as well as a bottle opener. sorry angel.
so plane leaves on time and we are relaxing and reading. all of a sudden the plane starts making noises and the captain gets on to tell us that we have lost one of the engines due to some mechanical failure. i rush up to the cockpit to see if there is anything i can do to help.
"do you know anything about airplanes?" the captain asks.
"no", i reply, "but i am a broadway electrician".
"good enough, son. the stewardess will show you the way to the engine compartment"
i follow the stew, (nice ass by the way), and head deep into the bowels of the plane. i immediately see the problem. the ngine housing has come loose due to vibration and popped some bolts. i grab the st.louis cardinal red thong and use the elasticity of its waist band to secure the housing.
sorry sleeper.
this seems to solve that problem, however, the popped bolts have pierced the fuselage and the resulting holes are causing the plane to depressurize. looking about for something to fill the holes i remember the shot glasses and find that they are a perfect fit. sorry danked.
emrgency averted, i return to my seat and recieve a complimentary cocktail.
the rest of the trip was pretty uneventful and i made to my front door safe and sound.


oh, while i was unpacking i dropped the bobblehead and broke it in 3 pieces. sorry alkie.



Edited By Arpikarhu on 1082399687

i almost forgot hedcolds surprise. i got him so albert pujols bobblehead doll pieces. autographed too!

I totally thought my present was gonna' make it.

I am sad.

grace restored!

It's actually the most believable story he's told since his return.

its a return to form, the likes of which has been missing for some time. bravo, sir!

at least the bat got put to good use - thanks for the effort!

Bravo, Arpi :bow:

liar.

Galt Wrote:liar.

CITE YOUR SOURCES!

so when do i get my bobblehead pieces?

I believe every word of that story

HedCold Wrote:so when do i get my bobblehead pieces?

at crack hitlers queens bash.

if i actually show up and there are no bobblehead pieces i'll be mighty peeved

I think Alkey still has rights to the bobblehead pieces since it was originally his gift

Surprise!