CDIH

To invite me to a family event again.

I guess I should lead into this with a little visit back into my past, i've told this story a dozen times but after everyone was surprised by my havin a couple black cousins I figured no one ever read my posts.

I was basically 86'ed from all family events a couple years back after I basically ruined my uncles funeral after taking the podium and breaking into a drunken rant. Then there was my great aunts birthday party, I wont go into the stories but I am really not liked by anyone in my family cause they're a bunch of phony fucks who I cant stand anyway.

So last month I get an invite from my grandmothers sisters side of the family whom I havent seen in like 10 years now. My grannys sister died a few years ago from cancer and she was basically the only decent one in that part of the family so once she died everyone finally could stop speaking to eachother.

The invite is to a wedding for like my 3rd cousin who I saw like once in my life but they want to make amends now with me, my granny and mom after all these years.

I really hate them all mainly cause of what they did to my granny. My grandma basically the person who sacrificed for them all to be able to come to america. They came over I guess about 15 years ago and had nothing. First off my granny got them all into the country, there was her sister and husband, their 3 grown kids and wives and their kids it was like 20 of them or so.

She bought them stuff, I dont mean like clothes and shit but she got them TV's, VCR's etc etc she let some of them live with her and got other relatives to put them up and she supported them basically for a year. I know its cliche but if my grandmothers got a buck left she'll not only give the whole buck but go and borrow another buck to make sure you got enough cause she doesnt give a shit about herself and only lives for her family.

So after a year or so they all start gettin on their feet and several years go by and they start really working up and open a dry cleaners and a dress shop and they really are doing well for themselves. They start buying houses and nice cars and all that and once they are doin well they basically stop giving a shit about my granny, they wouldnt even at the very least invite her over for dinner or something. They basically started to act as if she never existed after she basically gave them what they had, she even helped them get a loan to start the dry cleaners.

Then the knife in the back, my grandmother was really in need of money cause she basically gave away everything she had to everyone else in the family over the years. So she went to them and asked them for a job at the dry cleaners to make a few dollars on the side to help herself out and they say to her "sorry but we really don't want family working"

everyone working there was a part of their family, so basically they told her that shes not a part of her family!!!

My grandmother is such a wonderful person that shes goin to this wedding which is mainly in memory of her sister cause its her sisters granddaughter who is getting married.

So my mom and I also get invited, my mom doesnt wanna go so its me and granny.

I can not fuckin wait for tonight!!!

I am gonna do everything i can to make as many people miserable as I can, who the fuck throws a wedding on a tuesday anyway!!!!

Quote:who the fuck throws a wedding on a tuesday anyway!!!!

Cheap fucks who just care about saving a few bucks. Get hammered and make it a night to remember.

It's in the city too, 53rd and 5th I think, fuckin genius!!! At the very least if I can't have any fun at the wedding I can go watch the game at a bar.

wow, cant wait to hear this one.

if you could, please post a recap of your drunken speech at your uncles funeral.

at my uncles funeral, basically our family is all broken up and its factions its kinda like oa.com was.

Theres my grandfather who died a few months before I was born, he basically ran a crew with his 2 brothers and my grandmothers brother. My grandfather died in 78, my family was already in america for a few years but he only had gotten here in 78 and died less than a week after he finally got here.

Once he died one of his brothers went back to russia and the other stayed here, so my sister, my mom who was now alone when my old man left, my uncle his wife and her kid who is my cousin that I always talk about is my the only family I knew. My uncle was shot to death in about 83 I think so the family slowly dwiddled down. Then my grandfathers brother comes back in about 92 and I had only heard of him through stories and he was a real badass and basically insane, so I was kinda lookin forward to finally meeting him and he turns out to be a major scumbag. He was the real abusive kinda asshole who beat his wife all the time and kids, he was just scum of the earth who openly sccrewed around and shit on the family, finally in around 97 or so he croaks and I was glad to be honest.

Ofcourse comes the funeral, at the wake ofcourse my aunt who was such a timid person she had to be to put up with him she makes him out to be a saint and gets up and basically makes him out to be the greatest man who ever lived, this guy was fuckin shit.

No ones sayin nothin at the wake, so then we bury him and have the after funeral get together to eat and stuff so everyone is basically off in groups tellin stories about what a scumbag he was but when they get up to say their peace to him they only say how great he was.

I finally get tired of this shit and i'd been drinkin a bit and I was pretty bad back then, that was around the time i'd be waking up in my car in strange neighborhoods with my pants missing and used condoms still on me.

I can't honestly remember what I said but it was awful whatever it was, I basically just told the truth and as I said before our family was all broken up in cliques anyway and we werent really being invited to eachothers events as much anyway but that sealed up my fate.

It got to where my mom and granny were being invited to weddings and bar mitvahs and all those things but I was blantanly not invited, its not even that I wasnt invited but when they invited my mom and granny they made a point to say that I was not invited.

Thats that in a nutshell.

it all went downhill after bang party, didnt it?

I did make romance with my cousin, that mighta been a bad thing and I will be sure to remind everyone tonight.

I want this board to be exclusively about personal lives. I'm dead serious.

There is nothing more compelling.

So, if you gift wrapped a ziplock bag filled with urine as a wedding present - they'd probably know it was you, huh?

if they have a table in the corner off to the side, that has a tablecloth all the way to the floor. You should take a monster shit under the table.

Any picture you are in with the entire family, you should ruin by making a funny face, or by whiping your cock out.

instead of kissing family members on the cheek, tongue kiss them; grab their ass.

laugh really really really loud during the Best Man's speech. Or heckle him.

I already have my gift, it's a sympathy hallmark card "my condolences on your loss" with a single condom inside and I wrote on the card "make sure to use it so you don't burden the world with any more waste."

I also plan to laugh if she comes out wearing white and loudly say "she's got some nerve wearin white".

I'm glad I took the week off from work cause i'm gonna get my ass beat tonight.

you should wear an I'm with stupid hat/T-shirt combo. Granny would love that.

Go around telling all the guests you banged the bride.
But that you're happy if she's happy.

I really wish I was going to this.

Meet up with me at a bar after!

I would but i'll probably be in the emergency room by 7pm.

Whatever, fucko.

Pour out a 40 for your homey.

If you don't call I will be very angry.

I'm actually tempted to keep the condom and get a hooker while i'm down there.

Galt Wrote:I want this board to be exclusively about personal lives. I'm dead serious.

There is nothing more compelling.

i've been saying that for years.