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+--- Thread: swamp ass (/showthread.php?tid=9577)
- Galt - 10-29-2004
So, I took a shower and everything today. I haven't taken a dump all day. I haven't been farting today. I haven't eating mexican food or anything. I'm not hot and sweaty. I'm not angry. I'm not nervous.
For some reason I just got a whiff of my own ass, and it smelled like I shit myself. I was in the middle of phone call and I shifted my seat and the sewage smell hit me. The smell was the same as if you walk into a bathroom that has a shit sitting in the toilet. and then proceed to stick your face inside the bowl.
But I had to finish up my call (great trading call by the way. I'm brilliant) and had to wait about 5 or 10 minutes. I couldn't imagine how bad the smell was. I was shocked that I wasn't getting looks from other people I work with -- that's how bad it was.
I finally walked into the bathroom and whiped my ass (I ddin't take a shit, I just whiped my ass.)
THREE WIPES. THREE. It took three wipes to clean all the ffeces off my ass. That's how much it takes to clean off a marginally sloppy shit right afterwards. I'm about to vomit at the fact that I had that much festering in my pants all day.
I want to burn my underpants.
- Goatweed - 10-29-2004
I thought Gonzo was Mr. Poopypants.
- HedCold - 10-29-2004
you need adult wipes
- GonzoStyle - 10-29-2004
So did you basically shit the other day and not wipe or do you just walk and shit?
- Galt - 10-29-2004
I don't know what caused it. I'm pretty sure I took a dump last night. But I took at least one, and maybe two showers since.
It's really scaring me. Is that what happens when you get old?
- Gooch - 10-29-2004
its amazing you get laid
- Galt - 10-29-2004
like fish in a barrel.
- Gooch - 10-29-2004
does the ass odor make them scramble for the door once you efficiently fuck them in 5 minutes?
- Goatweed - 10-29-2004
Galt Wrote:Is that what happens when you get old?I dunno, it hasn't happened to me.........yet
- Galt - 10-29-2004
I have yet to weigh the effect of the swamp-ass against being bald, fat, and poor when it comes to picking up women.
- Black Lazerus - 10-29-2004
sounds like anal cancer.... i swear if thats what it is, i will laugh my self to death.
- Galt - 10-29-2004
it wouldn't surprise me if it were Cancer. Sometimes I have really long hairs (like a foot long) that I pull out of my ass when washing.
- Gooch - 10-29-2004
maybe thats from the guy just in there?
- Arpikarhu - 10-29-2004
i cant wait for the day when you try and tell us how inferior we all are because we dont have colostomy bags.
- Gooch - 10-29-2004
he is more regular than all of us
- Arpikarhu - 10-30-2004
dont help. thanks.
- Gooch - 10-30-2004
you are draggin my comedic stylings with your sordid disposition. please improve.
- GonzoStyle - 10-30-2004
You sure you didn't have one of those I gotta take a shit moments and held it in, then later on forgot about it and was pleasantly surprised later on in the day.
- Goatweed - 10-30-2004
I took a huge shit this morning, and afterwards I felt like I dropped 10 pounds.
- GonzoStyle - 10-30-2004
Gooch Wrote:you are draggin my comedic stylings with your sordid disposition. please improve.I'm glad someone finally had the heart to tell the old fool, I told him to shape up a few times.