Does anyone else have these urges? - no. Not gay ones.

[Galt]

The lady died, and we had a company meeting. CEO on the mic in front of everyone. I had the urge (not just the thought, but the actual urge) to laugh or say something horrible. Not that I think he death was funny at all, but just because I would love to see the reaction.

It's like the urge I have sometimes to pick up a baby by their legs when their parents are around and smash its head against a table. I love kids. I know it's mean. I just want to see what happens.

This always happens. I have a business meeting with someone who I meet for the first time, and I want to insult their race, or sex, or some other physical trait. It's not like I ever do it. Even if I get really drunk, I still don't lose those inibitions, thankfully.

I could go on for pages and pages about all the different insanely offensive and mean urges I have in real life that I just really really really want to do.

Thank God, I can say them on a messageboard.

[Black Lazerus]

We all do that is why we are here.

[Zootybang]

whenever i'm working on a high-rise, and i'm on the edge or the roof, i have a serious urge to jump off. not because i want to kill myself. i just want to feel it.
And let me save someone else the trouble.
"do us all a favor and do it next time"

[drusilla]

it's like when i'm sitting at a stop sign in my truck & an old lady is crossing the street. i get the urge to hit the gas pedal & run her over. but i know it's wrong. so i don't.

[HedCold]

I have sometimes to pick up a baby by their legs when their parents are around and smash its head against a table.

so you beat up that poor fork to see our reaction?

[Kid Afrika]

I sometimes think that I lack the checks and balances that keep me from saying the shit that comes to my mind that is overtly cruel or inappropriate.

Physical manifestations of these urges are easier for me to overcome though. Like, when you get stuck behind a bunch of idiots in traffic and they box you in so that you can't possibly pass them. I often want to pass on the shoulder or just rear-end them and run them off the road. Thankfully, discretion and fear of fail keeps me from doing this.

My mouth on the other hand has led to many a gasp of disbelief at the things I say.

[GonzoStyle]

I got a hard on once while driving with my mom, I had the urge to just tell her how hard I was. It wasn't just a passing urge either, it continued for 40 minutes, till I got out of the car and she left. It was pounding in my head every second, begging me to yell it out.

Plus I have laughed and been thrown out of a couple funerals and am not invited to any more family funerals after the debacle with my aunt at my uncles funeral.

I constantly have the urge to choke my dog as well, just to kill it. But then she looks at me with those cute wittle puppy eyes as her paws push my hands away and I can't continue.

[QuickStop]

not completely related, but one time i laughed out loud at something funny a friend said during a class discussion about the holocaust. needless to say, the room went completely silent and everyone started staring at me.

[IrishAlkey]

I, too, desire to smash Galt's head against a table.

[GonzoStyle]

I didn't order 2 wraps... arghhh what!!!! no sun-dried tomatos!!

[Keyser Soze]

I constantly have the urge to choke my dog as well, just to kill it. But then she looks at me with those cute wittle puppy eyes as her paws push my hands away and I can't continue.

i don't know why, but i just had to do everything in my power just now to resist the urge to burst out laughing in the middle of my office when i got a mental image of gonzo's dog pushing his hands away from choking it.

[GonzoStyle]

Yeah she gets her hind paws all into it when she pushes back, then her lips get all convulsed. But those damn little innocent eyes just make me feel bad.

[IrishAlkey]

Keyser, I laughed enough for both of us.

[Black Lazerus]

I got a hard on once while driving with my mom, I had the urge to just tell her how hard I was. It wasn't just a passing urge either, it continued for 40 minutes, till I got out of the car and she left. It was pounding in my head every second, begging me to yell it out.

I remember you telling me this. it was when your leg was fucked up right?

[Keyser Soze]

yeah he told us that story once before. im still laughing about the dog.

[GonzoStyle]

I dunno about my leg but I was hard and wanted to tell my mom, that I remember.

[Keyser Soze]

was it one of those invoulentary hard ons or were you actually horny?

[Galt]

So is this the underlying thing that makes us messageboard afficionados, not that we have no friends?

[Keyser Soze]

thats my excuse and im sticking to it.

[Mad]

The message board made me do it!

I wonder if that's a valid defense in court?