Cheating!

Maynard · 03-14-2002, 09:05 PM

OK, I was listening to Stern this morning, and he said something that really fuckin pissed me off.

Something to the effect of men that tell their significant others if they cheat are idiots.

WTF?? Why are they idiots because of this? OK, it's a dumb thing to do in the first place, but I would not be able to live with myself if I did that. I couldn't hold that secret. I mean, that's just wrong.

Am I an idiot for thinking this way, and for not wanting to keep a secret? :confused:

Cunt-Twat · 03-14-2002, 09:14 PM

well mr sensitive, i think that if you know t'll wreck your relationship, you shouldn't tell your chick. tell a guy friend instead.

Maynard · 03-14-2002, 09:20 PM

Cunt-Twat Wrote:well mr sensitive, i think that if you know t'll wreck your relationship, you shouldn't tell your chick. tell a guy friend instead.

My point is that I couldn't go on with the relationship holding something like that from her.

Hey Ladi · 03-14-2002, 09:24 PM

Quote:but I would not be able to live with myself if I did that

I don't think you should tell.... But if you want to what are your motives? You want to make you feel better?

In this case, then what... have to live with her not trusting you and always being up your ass about where you are and what you're doing, who you're with. It'll hurt her feelings & her trust, break her heart. Sure this would happen anyway if she finds out, but there is a chance she won't.

Also, I never understood the rationalization of "But, it didn't mean anything." If someone said that to me I'd be double pissed off. If I meant so much to them that them want to confess and 'work it out,' they why the F would they risk it all on something that didn't matter anyway. If you're going to do it, atleast do it for more than lust and a one night stand.

Hybrid · 03-14-2002, 09:29 PM

don't tell. the end result will most likely end in a breakup.

Spitfire · 03-14-2002, 09:54 PM

I wouldn't want to know. And Hybrid's right, I would definitely want to break up with someone who cheated on me. It's broken trust.

If you're going to cheat, why are you with that person to begin with? If you want to fuck other people just be single, don't hurt someone who cares for you.

PollyannaFlower46 · 03-14-2002, 09:59 PM

Regardless of how bad you say you would feel if you cheated, telling her would only make things worse. Even though you may want to come clean and redeem yourself, you'd only break her heart. Knowing that you've been with someone else is going to replay in her mind constantly and even if she says she forgives you, she never will.

Quote:Also, I never understood the rationalization of "But, it didn't mean anything." If someone said that to me I'd be double pissed off. If I meant so much to them that them want to confess and 'work it out,' they why the F would they risk it all on something that didn't matter anyway. If you're going to do it, atleast do it for more than lust and a one night stand.

I'm the total opposite, I would feel worse if my boyfriend/husband was cheating on me with someone he cared about enough to carry on with. If someone has a one night indiscretion, it's easier to pass off as a mistake than when they carry on something for a prolonged period of time. If my boyfriend went out one night, got hammered and got a bj from some chick he met at a bar I would be pissed, but not devestated. However, if my boyfriend was cheating on me with someone to the point where it was as if he had two relationships, that would devestate me and make me feel as if I wasn't enough.

Maynard · 03-14-2002, 10:10 PM

I didn't say that I would tell her to try and fix things. But I would still tell her. And no, I wouldn't think that things would be fine afterwards.

PollyannaFlower46 · 03-14-2002, 10:37 PM

Quote:I didn't say that I would tell her to try and fix things. But I would still tell her.

Telling someone you cheated on them hurts that person A LOT....trust me. Honestly, don't even bother telling someone you cheated unless you think the relationship is worth trying to save and you want it to be totally based on honesty.

inkgrrrl · 03-14-2002, 10:45 PM

i say tell. i would want to know.. but tell only if you want to end the relationship anyway....

i mean if you cheated, you arent happy to begin with.. and telling is the right thing to do... like a cleansing.

Keyser Soze · 03-14-2002, 11:12 PM

telling her will only make you feel better and her worse.

Sluggo · 03-14-2002, 11:30 PM

We've discussed this here before...
A few people have repeated what I said last time.
All telling does is make you feel less guilty...
It makes your significant other feel like shit.
If you're gonna fool around...
You'd better be able to live with it.

Sean Cold · 03-15-2002, 12:31 AM

Maynard Wrote:Am I an idiot for thinking this way

no, you are an idiot for many others things, this doesn't happen to be one of them though.

I cheated on a test once in college. I felt really guilty afterwards because I fucked up the whole grade curve because I obtained a rather high score on said exam.

Yeah, I know, totaly off topic but I never cheated on some one I was with so I couldn't answer this thread due to my lack of being a fuckin shithead towards women.

Silera · 03-15-2002, 01:02 AM

I was married to someone who could not be faithful to me. He never admitted to it, and I was grateful for that. In some twisted way, I felt that it meant he really cared about my feelings. If you admit to cheating, its just a way to unburden yourself of the guilt, and you end up making the other person carry around with the doubt. It is very possible to have a meaningless sexual relationship, and meaningful relationships are not contigent upon monogamy. Sometimes, respecting your partner's feelings is much more valuable than being faithful to her.

Sluggo · 03-15-2002, 04:59 AM

:loveya:

fbd · 03-15-2002, 05:01 AM

Sluggo Wrote::loveya:

back of the line, sluggo.the rest of us have been lusting, er, have been in love with sil for longer than you

Sluggo · 03-15-2002, 05:04 AM

fbdlingfrg Wrote:
Sluggo Wrote::loveya:
back of the line, sluggo.the rest of us have been lusting, er, have been in love with sil for longer than you

Big fuckin deal little boy.

Maynard · 03-15-2002, 07:22 AM

Silera Wrote:I was married to someone who could not be faithful to me. He never admitted to it, and I was grateful for that. In some twisted way, I felt that it meant he really cared about my feelings. If you admit to cheating, its just a way to unburden yourself of the guilt, and you end up making the other person carry around with the doubt. It is very possible to have a meaningless sexual relationship, and meaningful relationships are not contigent upon monogamy. Sometimes, respecting your partner's feelings is much more valuable than being faithful to her.

My soon-to-be ex-wife cheated on me as well, but she never told me. I found out for myself, and well, it's a whole big ugly fucking story. But the point is, I'm glad I know. If I didn't know, then it could still be going on right now.

A woman I know was in a relationship for like 10 years, then got engaged. While engaged, she had sex with someone else. She told him, then got married anyway. So there's someone that told that they cheated, and still made it work out. Their love was strong enough. :fuggin:

IkeaBoy · 03-15-2002, 08:08 AM

Nothing gets you better into the mindset of cheating than the classic show Cheaters. This week had white trash.

Arthur Dent · 03-15-2002, 09:18 AM

Why cheat in the first place?

If you want someone different, why not get your girl a wig and a slutty outfit, have her do her make-up totaly different than normal, and call her by another name. A little kinky role-play is better than risking fucking up the whole relationship.