Your worst qualities.

[Zootybang]

I have a new-found anxiety/panic disorder that Is slowly pushing me to kill myself. I'm going out of my mind trying to deal with It. I'll get the most mundane feeling or sensation, like maybe I smoked too many cig's the night before and my lungs are a little sore, or I ate too much at dinner and I feel full, and my brain turns It Into "I'm dying from a heart attack". It's gotten so bad that I went to the doctor, and he put me on Xanax, which, by the way, works wonders. Only thing Is, I hate myself so much for being this weak that I won't take the Xanax, and I choose to suffer through the attacks. I figure If I use the drugs to feel better, than I'll never be better without them. I just hope I can work through It before I smoke myself In pure self-loathing.
You guys can goof on me for this. I expect as much. But It's toatally serious. Anyone ever deal with anything resembling this?