12-24-2004, 12:46 PM
I worked graveyard at my last job and it was pretty much a requirement to make the place smell like a slaughterhouse when first shift came in. We'd have contests some nights and keep score on the whiteboard. My supervisor at that time was lactose intolerant but insisted on drinking Jack in the Box shakes, so I remember losing one night to him 35-7. I went home that morning with a headache and a sore throat.
Another time I had some serious gas and walked by somebody while he was on the phone with a client and let go a huge bomb. He started laughing uncontrollably and had to spend 5 minutes explaining to the client that he wasn't laughing at her and that "somebody in the office was telling jokes". Then no more than 5 minutes later I let another one go and he had to put her on hold because he couldn't control himself.
Then there was the time that same supervisor took a call on my phone, on speakerphone. About 10 minutes into the call the customer asked a question, supervisor took about 2 seconds to try to answer it, during which time I farted. This was followed by about 40 seconds of dead silence as his face turned red and tried to compose himself to the point of continuing the conversation. The customer eventually hung up and called back later. Probably a smart move.
But the best of all had to be the time the spineless, ballless "department head" went walking past me on the way to the bathroom. I wasn't even aware he was passing by, but happened to let go about a 7 second explosion that he inevitably heard loud and clear. Of course, since he has no balls and no spine, he said nothing and did nothing as I laughed hysterically.
Ah, good times.
Another time I had some serious gas and walked by somebody while he was on the phone with a client and let go a huge bomb. He started laughing uncontrollably and had to spend 5 minutes explaining to the client that he wasn't laughing at her and that "somebody in the office was telling jokes". Then no more than 5 minutes later I let another one go and he had to put her on hold because he couldn't control himself.
Then there was the time that same supervisor took a call on my phone, on speakerphone. About 10 minutes into the call the customer asked a question, supervisor took about 2 seconds to try to answer it, during which time I farted. This was followed by about 40 seconds of dead silence as his face turned red and tried to compose himself to the point of continuing the conversation. The customer eventually hung up and called back later. Probably a smart move.
But the best of all had to be the time the spineless, ballless "department head" went walking past me on the way to the bathroom. I wasn't even aware he was passing by, but happened to let go about a 7 second explosion that he inevitably heard loud and clear. Of course, since he has no balls and no spine, he said nothing and did nothing as I laughed hysterically.
Ah, good times.