11-08-2005, 06:05 AM
My first time was so awkward I don't count it and have tried desperately to repress the memory.
It happened after a date with my first serious girlfriend in high school where we probably just sat around Borders drinking coffee and reading books in the aisles. This was before I ever smoked pot and fell deeper within the hippie crowd later in my sophmore year and I had somehow managed to woo a tall, pretty senior girl. She was a fun girl and although for the most part she seemed fairly shy and conservative to most people, she did prove quite fun and adventurous. The preceding weeks had consisted of a lot of heavy petting and extended makeout sessions in both our bedrooms and cars but neither one of us had really thrown down the guantlet and made a move. I had not yet tried oral or received it, but I certainly learned how to make her purr by pressing the right buttons. It was this she said that prompted her to pull to the side of the road and pounce on me after a boring night at the book store for "a little fun." I lived in a pretty rural area at the time and she pulled up on to the grass of a dark country road about a mile before my house. After some fondling of each other's goodies through our clothes she dragged me to the back of the minivan for "a little naked time." Her words.
We made out for a long time while we slowly disrobed along the way. I think by the time we were both fully nude, the Dave Matthews Band tape she had been playing flipped over twice on the tape player and we had significantly steamed up the van's windows. It made me a little nervous as several cars did go by and it would have been obvious that a love sauna was going on within, but I felt safe since her van was so far off the road.
I actually thought the we might only go so far as a little oral experimentation that night, but she took her tongue out of my ear long enough to whisper that she picked up some condoms on the way to pick me up earlier. Jackpot. By now, I was so aroused that Little Dankey was engorged to the point of discomfort. She kneeled down on the floor to do the honors and started to roll one on for me when the worst possible thing that could possibly fucking happen at that exact moment happened.
There was a knock on the driver's window.
A very loud knock.
An official sounding knock.
A cop had snuck up on us! While the windows were foggy, we could still make out things in the night, but this cop came out of nowhere. We were pretty certain after the fact that he had even rolled up behind us with his lights off to catch us unawares. Now she, being 18 and with obvious intentions to get this skinny, pimply 16 year old off, immediately starts to freak out, but somehow manages to move at record speed to get decent. She threw on her panties and the nearest shirt which turned out to be both mine and inside out and hops back into the driver's seat. The cop knocks again as she slowly cracks the window.
"I don't want your IDs, I don't want your names, and I don't care what's going on," he says, "I just want you to move along."
"Yes, sir..." she squeaked.
I was crouched down on the floor in the back looking for either my boxers or my t-shirt, of which I couldn't find either so I just tried to hide behind her seat.
"Go home, kids."
She clicked in her seatbelt, started the car, and the cop turned to head back to his car somewhere in the shadows as I finally found my boxers, slipped them on, and saddened and deflated, buckled myself into the passenger seat. The cop followed us for a couple of miles before he finally turned off and we both breathed a sigh of relief. Undeterred by our foiled attempt to fornicate, I made what to her was probably a pretty random request judging by the confused look she gave me.
"Let's go to my grandfather's house!"
I explained how my parents had a rented him an apartment in the senior community in town due to his declining health but seeing as how he away visiting my aunt for the weekend, we had the house to ourselves for the night and for "a little naked time." We booked over to the senior lot, threw on enough clothes so that if any of granddad's neighbors saw us they wouldn't call the cops at the two naked kids tiptoeing up the new guy's porch, and tiptoed down the walk to my granddad's apartment. She pounced on me as soon as we got through the door and tried to drag me into the first door she saw which was actually the little closet where they hide the washer and dryer units. I spun us around and led her to the bedroom where I pushed her down on the bed where we started back at it. I had her shirt off and she was unbuckling my pants when I suddenly had a moment of conscience.
"Hold on..... we can't do this."
With a pout, she asks "Why not?"
"I just can't..... not on my grandfather's bed."
"Ugh!"
"Hold on.... wait.... I've got it!" I exclaim. "LET ME JUST GO GET A TOWEL!!!!!!!"
So I did. I went in the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and LAID IT ON THE FLOOR. Then I looked at her.... nearly nude.... horny.... on a bed... and probably looked extremely proud to suggest that this would be a much more suitable place to have sex as opposed to the bed three feet from me.
She relented and laid down on the floor as I struggled to open the condom package and then struggled to put it on until I realized that I was trying to put it on inside out. The momemt had come and gone and we had just approached maximum awkwardness. I tried kissing her and warming her up, but all it amounted to was a bunch of nervous fumbling at this point and all the foreplay skills I thought I had just flew out the window. It was by her frustrated look that I realized I better just go for it and hope for the best.
My best was about 20 seconds. Oh god, that was embarrassing. I tried to keep pumping and maybe try to fool her into thinking I hadn't came yet, but the little guy just didn't have it in him anymore. Sheepishly, I mumbled a sorry, pulled out, and ran back to the bathroom to clean up trying to avoid her eyes. In the bathroom, I avoided my own eyes in the mirror as I bemoaned my fate as one of those guys I heard calling in to Lovelines late at night on Z100 that just couldn't hold it together long enough to get a woman off. I feared I would forever be a one pump chump. For years afterword I stuck to fondling and mastering the art of oral sex to avoid the disappointment of only 20 seconds. I missed out on a lot of potential sex for fear that I would just disappoint and it wasn't until 5 years later that I learned that all it takes is a little practice, pacing, and finesse to go for a long time and I finally had sex that I could count.
Oh, man. What a magical night. It was everyting they said it would be.
It happened after a date with my first serious girlfriend in high school where we probably just sat around Borders drinking coffee and reading books in the aisles. This was before I ever smoked pot and fell deeper within the hippie crowd later in my sophmore year and I had somehow managed to woo a tall, pretty senior girl. She was a fun girl and although for the most part she seemed fairly shy and conservative to most people, she did prove quite fun and adventurous. The preceding weeks had consisted of a lot of heavy petting and extended makeout sessions in both our bedrooms and cars but neither one of us had really thrown down the guantlet and made a move. I had not yet tried oral or received it, but I certainly learned how to make her purr by pressing the right buttons. It was this she said that prompted her to pull to the side of the road and pounce on me after a boring night at the book store for "a little fun." I lived in a pretty rural area at the time and she pulled up on to the grass of a dark country road about a mile before my house. After some fondling of each other's goodies through our clothes she dragged me to the back of the minivan for "a little naked time." Her words.
We made out for a long time while we slowly disrobed along the way. I think by the time we were both fully nude, the Dave Matthews Band tape she had been playing flipped over twice on the tape player and we had significantly steamed up the van's windows. It made me a little nervous as several cars did go by and it would have been obvious that a love sauna was going on within, but I felt safe since her van was so far off the road.
I actually thought the we might only go so far as a little oral experimentation that night, but she took her tongue out of my ear long enough to whisper that she picked up some condoms on the way to pick me up earlier. Jackpot. By now, I was so aroused that Little Dankey was engorged to the point of discomfort. She kneeled down on the floor to do the honors and started to roll one on for me when the worst possible thing that could possibly fucking happen at that exact moment happened.
There was a knock on the driver's window.
A very loud knock.
An official sounding knock.
A cop had snuck up on us! While the windows were foggy, we could still make out things in the night, but this cop came out of nowhere. We were pretty certain after the fact that he had even rolled up behind us with his lights off to catch us unawares. Now she, being 18 and with obvious intentions to get this skinny, pimply 16 year old off, immediately starts to freak out, but somehow manages to move at record speed to get decent. She threw on her panties and the nearest shirt which turned out to be both mine and inside out and hops back into the driver's seat. The cop knocks again as she slowly cracks the window.
"I don't want your IDs, I don't want your names, and I don't care what's going on," he says, "I just want you to move along."
"Yes, sir..." she squeaked.
I was crouched down on the floor in the back looking for either my boxers or my t-shirt, of which I couldn't find either so I just tried to hide behind her seat.
"Go home, kids."
She clicked in her seatbelt, started the car, and the cop turned to head back to his car somewhere in the shadows as I finally found my boxers, slipped them on, and saddened and deflated, buckled myself into the passenger seat. The cop followed us for a couple of miles before he finally turned off and we both breathed a sigh of relief. Undeterred by our foiled attempt to fornicate, I made what to her was probably a pretty random request judging by the confused look she gave me.
"Let's go to my grandfather's house!"
I explained how my parents had a rented him an apartment in the senior community in town due to his declining health but seeing as how he away visiting my aunt for the weekend, we had the house to ourselves for the night and for "a little naked time." We booked over to the senior lot, threw on enough clothes so that if any of granddad's neighbors saw us they wouldn't call the cops at the two naked kids tiptoeing up the new guy's porch, and tiptoed down the walk to my granddad's apartment. She pounced on me as soon as we got through the door and tried to drag me into the first door she saw which was actually the little closet where they hide the washer and dryer units. I spun us around and led her to the bedroom where I pushed her down on the bed where we started back at it. I had her shirt off and she was unbuckling my pants when I suddenly had a moment of conscience.
"Hold on..... we can't do this."
With a pout, she asks "Why not?"
"I just can't..... not on my grandfather's bed."
"Ugh!"
"Hold on.... wait.... I've got it!" I exclaim. "LET ME JUST GO GET A TOWEL!!!!!!!"
So I did. I went in the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and LAID IT ON THE FLOOR. Then I looked at her.... nearly nude.... horny.... on a bed... and probably looked extremely proud to suggest that this would be a much more suitable place to have sex as opposed to the bed three feet from me.
She relented and laid down on the floor as I struggled to open the condom package and then struggled to put it on until I realized that I was trying to put it on inside out. The momemt had come and gone and we had just approached maximum awkwardness. I tried kissing her and warming her up, but all it amounted to was a bunch of nervous fumbling at this point and all the foreplay skills I thought I had just flew out the window. It was by her frustrated look that I realized I better just go for it and hope for the best.
My best was about 20 seconds. Oh god, that was embarrassing. I tried to keep pumping and maybe try to fool her into thinking I hadn't came yet, but the little guy just didn't have it in him anymore. Sheepishly, I mumbled a sorry, pulled out, and ran back to the bathroom to clean up trying to avoid her eyes. In the bathroom, I avoided my own eyes in the mirror as I bemoaned my fate as one of those guys I heard calling in to Lovelines late at night on Z100 that just couldn't hold it together long enough to get a woman off. I feared I would forever be a one pump chump. For years afterword I stuck to fondling and mastering the art of oral sex to avoid the disappointment of only 20 seconds. I missed out on a lot of potential sex for fear that I would just disappoint and it wasn't until 5 years later that I learned that all it takes is a little practice, pacing, and finesse to go for a long time and I finally had sex that I could count.
Oh, man. What a magical night. It was everyting they said it would be.
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