The Random Galt & Gonzo Childhood Memories Thread

[GonzoStyle]

Your posts are jarring memories.

My first exposure to playboy was when I was in 5th grade. Gregg Collona had an older brother, who was away, and his parents were also away. I was one of three friends he had over, while his big sister "watched the house" (got banged by her boyfriend). Gregg whipped out his brother's Playboy, and I was enthralled, but also confused. "Where the hell is the vagina?" Is it the hair? Is that even hair?" You have to remember, this was before I had sex ed, and I was also with three other guys, so I couldn't act like I had no idea what was going on. After we looked at his Playboy for a while, the other guys wanted to go into his parents room and use the hot tub. But before that, they wanted to compare penis size. I was all "naw, that's cool - I'm going to check out this magazine more". So while they all looked at each other's cocks in his parents room, I was in the other room getting to really figure out what was going on with the whole vagina thing.


three stories I remember about a pool in my yard.

1 When we were little, we had an above the ground pool. One day, I was going to go swimming, and my brother was talking about going to. But I was mad at him for some reason. Or maybe I wasn't mad at him and I just being a douche. Regardless, On my way to the pool, I happened to find a dead bee. I picked it up, and walked over the to the pool. I got into the pool and put the bee on one of the steps, hoping my brother would step on it and cry. Well, short attention span that it is, I swam for a bit, my brother never came out, and when I left the pool, I stung myself with a bee.

When I was 13 we got an in-the-ground pool. As the youngest boy, it was my job to vacuum the pool a lot. Obviously, one of the first things I did was try and get the pool vacuum to give me a blow job. I hopped in the pool, got the hose suction going and stuck my junk in. Within a fraction of a second, I had massive wood. Unfortunately, no matter how long I had it like that or whatever else I tried, I just couldn't come close to having an orgasm. Good thing, because if so, I would have been vacuuming the pool every day and I parents or brothers/sister surely would have found out and I would have had to kill myself.

Another thing I did while vacuuming the pool was take the long pole and try and pole vault with it. I'd run on the side of the pool and plant the pole on the bottom of the pool and it was pretty bad ass. Unfortunately, the vacuum brush would slide all over the place, so I couldnt' really get any good distance. So I took that piece off and just had a pole. I did this a lot. Well, after a few months, my father was baffled by the hundreds of crescent shape moons on the bottom of the pool. He had no idea how it happened, but he thought the pool was ripping apart from the inside. He probably spent 40 hours over the course of one summer trying to patch the thing (upon which time I was still pole vaulting whenever I could), until he finally broke down and had to spent like $2,500 to get the whole pool re-lined.

After that point I felt bad, and stopped doing it.

all of those stories were so spectaculous