Comic relief - Help a struggling man

[Metalfan]

I ask you, dear friends and psychos alike....what is the source of Ken's angst and frustration. Well, having banged his sister again last night, I probed her for information while I....probed her. She makes it seem like all of Ken's problems relate directly back to his sexual growth....for example, she told me that Ken's first experience went something like this:



As you can see, this could be quite traumatic and embarrassing if caught or hurt by the device. Also, since it is so impersonal, she told me that Ken needed the warmth of another...and, here we have his first "real" date being primped for Ken's arrival



She tells me this didn't go over too well for Ken as he just couldn't cownsummate the relationship....so on he moved to find acceptance. He felt he needed more warmth and intimacy...so he thought what better than this little head-turner



Ouch!!! After the burns healed, American Pie had just come out on video. Taking the lead from there, Ken has finally found his ultimate happiness...and nobody is more grateful than his little sister who was getting sick of hearing Ken pounding his junk with a ball-peen hammer at all hours of the night.



As you can see, Ken has many more problems than what he shows on this board....so please people.....only those of you who can offer Ken some serious help need respond. Step up to the plate people and help out a member in need, won't you?