Barbie's a piece of ass

[DGW]

Hey, I call shenanigans! I ask why my status is Drunken Fuck and I get tooling-a-plenty

maybe you should change yer board name to SYNTuesdayGrl

[OAS]

Speaking of never having sex, my friend who is married called me last night to tell me he found out the average American has sex 136 times a year. He told me he's lucky if he hits 5. Thats so depressing.

He's married and getting it 5 times a year, that means he's only cheating 3 times. He needs to pick up his game. :lol:

[GonzoStyle]

How does that equation work out yoda?

For ever 1.5 times of married sex you cheat once?

[OAS]

You only get married sex twice. Birthday and anniversary if you get her drunk enough.

[GonzoStyle]

Sounds complicated, i'll enjoy being single for now.

[LyricalGomez]

Stop acting like that's by choice

[GonzoStyle]

Let me get a mail order bride from overseas, how's germany this time of year?

[LyricalGomez]

Oh yeah, well the jerk store called, they're running out of you

[GonzoStyle]

:rofl:

:loveya: It's not my fault your g/f thinks mein kampf is full of great ideas then she takes away all your rap records and replaces them with opera.

[LyricalGomez]

Mein Kampf is outlawed in Germany, so she could'nt own it

[The Jays]

Oh yeah, well the jerk store called, they're running out of you

YOU'RE THEIR BEST SELLER!!

[GonzoStyle]

That's why she keeps her leather boots and copy of mein kampf at your place. Does she read it to you when she tucks you in?

VAT ARE JU DOING LISTENING TO DIS JOOGNLE MUZIK? VAT IS DIS SHIZZLE MY NIZZLE? TAKE OFF ZIS DOO RAG AND PUT ON NORMAL CLOTHES, SCHTUPID SCHWARTZA!!!!

[LyricalGomez]

*starts checking room for cameras Gonzo has obviously installed*

[GonzoStyle]

MEIN LEIPSCHEIN JU VILL SING ME ZE OPERA BY VAGNER AND STOOP DIS FOOLISHNESS.... STOP VIT ZE GANG SIGNZ I AM NOOT VON OF JOR SCHTUPID SCHWARTZA FRIENDS!!!

[LyricalGomez]

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:

[Sloatsburgh]

Speaking of never having sex, my friend who is married called me last night to tell me he found out the average American has sex 136 times a year. He told me he's lucky if he hits 5

They're must be including masterbation:

Single Guy: Sex a year: 720. With another person: 8

Guy with Girlfriend: Sex a year: 500 With another person: 250

Married Guy: Sex a year: 15 With another person: 3 (also including Christmas, OAS)

Married Guy having an affair: Sex a Year: 150 With another person: 145

[Ronin]

In a related story: Pregnant barbie

Wal-Mart Yanks Pregnant Barbie Pal from Shelves
1 hour, 23 minutes ago Add Oddly Enough - Reuters to My Yahoo!

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Barbie having babies? Stick to playing nurse and Rapunzel, say Wal-Mart shoppers.

Barbie's long-time pal, Midge -- now married and pregnant -- was yanked from Wal-Mart Stores Inc. shelves earlier this month after customers complained about the doll, a company spokeswoman said.

Midge is sold as part of the "Happy Family" set, wearing a tiny wedding ring and a detachable stomach with a curled-up baby inside. Her husband, Alan, and 3-year-old child Ryan are sold separately.

Melissa Berryhill, a Wal-Mart spokeswoman, declined to comment on whether shoppers objected specifically to the doll being sold alone, which may suggest teenage pregnancy, rather than being sold with the rest of the family.

"We make every decision on which items to carry based on customer demand, and that was the reason for this. Customers were unhappy with the offering," Berryhill said.

Mattel, the maker of Barbie, on its Barbie.com Web site, said the Happy Family preganancy-themed dolls "can help parents discuss pregnancy without having to resort to graphic descriptions of the reproductive process." It said the dolls can help children aged 5 to 8 to act out their feelings before the arrival of a new sibling.

Some shoppers said they were not convinced Wal-Mart's priorities were on target.

"Wal-Mart pulling Barbie because she's pregnant, but they still sell guns and ammo?" said Laura Jamieson of San Francisco

[Sloatsburgh]

Guns don't kill people. Death kills people.