Confessions two

[GonzoStyle]

I also have that problem of begining to think when I am trying to go to sleep. I actually started replaying movies in my head, you all probably know how sick I am with my movie collection. I start playing movies in my head and it relaxes me and I can go to sleep.

I get too many IMs sometimes, but at the same time I like talking in AIM. I will get IMed by anywhere from 30-50 people a day. I don't get IMed enough by people I wanna talk to though. I rarely IM anyone though, I also feel like I may be bothering people. I always wanha IM someone just to talk but then I don't for whatever reason, now I feel silly for not IMing some of you people, especially hybrid, fdb, gomez and VG. Or I just have a feeling some of you people don't like me or whatever, so I just don't bother, just the way I am.

[Metalfan]

I don't have AIM at work due to the gestapo like NT security they have set up here :disappointed: But, I do read and respond to PM's and e-mail :thumbs-up:

I dwell on death, always have. I wonder what my father felt or thought or saw as he passed. I wonder what it was like for the people on the planes, or in the WTC or at the Pentagon. Do you really see your life pass before your eyes?

If I say "I don't care" in a conversation, I really mean it. It is not a tactic I use to change the subject....its just that I truly don't give a shit.

I will watch the same movie/tv show over and over again, because I don't have to expend the energy to pay attention to details.

I like Steven Seagal movies.

I think Kristy Swanson and Jennifer Connelley are two of the hottest women ever.

If I were a few inches taller, I would have seriously considered trying out for basketball in high school, instead I was a band geek.

I've been losing my hair since I'm 19.....I'm 35 now and actually still have hair left :thumbs-up:

I've been to the top of the World Trade Center, but not the Empire State Bldg.

I use jokes as a defense mechanism.

[GonzoStyle]

When froy demoded me, I didn't get a call from him let alone an IM. We had been on the phone the night before and he didn't mention anything to me. That was the last time I spoke to him was the night before. He and I were close, we shared things with eachother and we were close friends. I felt well not bad cause I knew he was wrong in how he did me in, but I did still care cause we were friends. So beyond the board shit, in june I e-mailed him, which was a few months after the whole shit happened. Basically trying to extend the olive branch and try to salvage our friendship or atleast to end it on civil terms. I still have the e-mail, I sent it to him and he replied the next day. Fucker never did get it, all he talked about was the board side of things, and that he never disallowed me to post on OA.com, etc etc. I replied back on how dumb he was, that I was talking like two people here, two friends, who cares about a fuckin board? But he never replied to that, I was just pissed at the time. The fact that he took PsychoBitches word that I was the leak, when she had access to BTS through other means, then on top of that a couple weeks later she is spreading around naked pics of him. Yet he took her word over a friends, that is what had me upset. Also the fact he never talked to me about it.

Now I could fuckin care less, I don't even hate or care to be honest, it is so far in the past. But I was looking through some really old e-mails I have saved. Some going back to october of 2000, etc. I ran across that one.

[virgingrrl]

being at college has made me appreciate my friends from high school more.

agreed.

which leads me to say, i have no friends at school now. sure i make conversation with people in my classes. but i don't hang out with anyone i have met. all of the new friends i have made after high school are through other friends.

i hate when people ask me if i played basket ball in high school.
even though im tall, i have no skills what so ever. my freshman year the coach told me to come to the try outs, i told him no i suck. he made me go anyway, i was on the court for all of 2 minutes when he called me over and i said "now do you beleive me?" he laughed and then told me i could leave.

i miss singing every morning. my school had its choir practice at 7 every morning. it was an amazing way to start the day.

in my senior class polls i got : tallest, most unique and class pals with my 4 other bestest friends ( i only talk to 2 of them now). i was a close second to to getting class clown and nicest eyes.

yeah....i WAS the coolest.

[Metalfan]

he made me go anyway, i was on the court for all of 2 minutes when he called me over and i said "now do you beleive me?" he laughed and then told me i could leave.

That just sucks! Like you had no idea of your own abilities.....what a schmuck he is :fuckoff:

[OAS]

You people all have way too many issues. Do we have a shrink on the board? If we do, you are going to be rich.

[Metalfan]

Ye with no foibles speaks? neak:

[virgingrrl]

it's ok, i wasn't embarssed. back then nothing could embarass me.

my body just was not meant to play sports, it belonged on a stage....

[Metalfan]

I didn't mean to imply that it embarrassed you. It was more along the lines that even in high school, adults gave us no credit for understanding what we were/were not capable of doing. That just because you're tall, or strong, or whatever, you MUST be able to play sports.....bah!

[virgingrrl]

i listen to ed, lisa and dre every moring.

i was so happy a few months ago when they finally came back to new york.

in 7th grade, my friends and i used to try and make up rymes for the Roll Call every morning...heh stupid white kids.

[FollowThisLogic]

There are some people on this board that I talk to now and then, and some I consider friends, that I really wish I was closer to. IMs with most of the ones I mean are usually brief or have very long pauses with nothing to say, and I guess that's why we haven't gotten closer - it never really gets into anything personal. But I wish it would, and when I occasionally think about it, I get sad that it hasn't.

Edit: I also wish that the people I'm talking about above, will read this and know I'm talking about them, but I have a feeling they won't. Some of them would probably be surprised that I feel that way.

I have the worst memory, that I know of, of anyone my age. I'll be 23 a week from today, and I can't remember a fucking thing, especially tasks I have to do - I just emailed myself a grocery list to work with a flag for follow-up set for 5 minutes before I leave work, so Outlook will give me a reminder, otherwise I will just go home and not get the stuff I need. I also find myself telling people things that I've already told them before, sometimes the day after I told them the first time. There's no history of Alzheimer's in my family, but I do fear that these might be early signs and it only gets worse from here....



Edited By FollowThisLogic on 1035377882

[virgingrrl]

i on the other hand remember WAAAAAY to fucking much.
i wish i could forget somethings sometimes.
i do have a history Alzheimer's in my family, but there are studies that show that if you exercise your brain, and the only way you can is by reading, you will less likely develop Alzheimer's.
my grandparents came over to the US. from the ukraine in the early 1950's, and my grandpa never learned how to read and he had Alzheimer's, so i can see how it can be possible.

[OAS]

FTL, start the Metemucil and fish oil now. You're aging metabolisim is already accelerated. But look at the bright side, for everyone of you that start to show signs of aging, there is one of us older folks that don't. :rofl:

[GonzoStyle]

You people all have way too many issues. Do we have a shrink on the board? If we do, you are going to be rich.

Life is much easier when you get to take naps in the afternoon and poop in your depends.

[LyricalGomez]

:rofl:

[Goatweed]

Or I just have a feeling some of you people don't like me or whatever

I like you gonzy, always have. I enjoy AIM chats also, but much like everyone else I feel like I'm bothering someone if I AIM them for no reason. I do welcome all conversations, but most times people ask me for some kind of tech or gaming advice - which I don't ever mind giving, but sometimes ya just wanna shoot the shit. Speaking of tech stuff...

I don't have AIM at work due to the gestapo like NT security they have set up here

I feel your pain. Have you tried Quick Buddy? I can only use QB at work, because AE uses a newer form of Java and I'm also not allowed to update it on my machine - but it works well.

my grandparents came over to the US. from the Ukraine in the early 1950's

ANOTHER Ukie on the board? How many of us are there here?

When I was young I used to be able to speak and Understand Ukrainian as easily as I do English now. I was born in Queens and raised in America, but my grandparents always made an effort to speak to me in Ukrainian to make sure I learned it. We also saw them very often in those days, so I picked up on it easily. Over the years, we saw less and less of them, and my mom never spoke it to me at home - as a result, I lost the ability to speak it. I can still understand some of it when its spoken to me, but most times I find myself feeling stupid and embarrassed that I can't totally understand what my grandparents say to me. I also miss the days when I was young. We used to go to church on Easter and have the easter baskets blessed by the Ukie priests, and then eat like pigs the next day. Those were great days, and life was so much simpler...

[FollowThisLogic]

Dammit, OAS gets the age and I get the fuckin age-related problems, it's a conspiracy.

Another thing - before we're completely off the issue of high school sports. I had a pretty wicked pitching arm but was always too scared to try out for the team. I finally got up the nerve to try out during the summer before my sophomore year. Then, in the middle of the summer, I fell off my bike, and broke my pitching arm half an inch above the elbow. My arm was in a half-cast (I guess a splint, technically) for a month, immobile. After the thing came off, I had physical therapy to try to return my arm's range of motion, as the atrophy made me unable to move it very far. It helped a lot, but I have never been restored to 100%. I can't quite bend my arm all the way, and more importantly, I can't straighten it all the way. The inability to straighten it ruined my ability to pitch. I still have the aim, but no stamina. After just a few pitches, my arm kills me..... because when I extend my arm to throw the ball, it works against itself to avoid straightening.

[HollywoodJewMoses]

ftl = henry rowengartner

[LyricalGomez]

Speaking of sports

I regret not listening to my doctor whenever my knee got injured...I used to love playing Rugby, but then my knee got injured, and instead of waiting 3 months before playing again like the doctor said, I was playing a month later, got injured again, was supposed to stay out for 6 months, did'nt listen yet again wand was playing a few months later....Needless to say my right knee is messed up, it does'nt hurt and I can walk fine, but if I play most sports for a period of time without sitting down my knee begins to hurt like all Hell...I could have an operation, but it's a) costly and b) rather pointless in my view because I don't plan on playing sports professionally, so why waste the money when it's something that won't affect any other aspects of my life.

[GonzoStyle]

I speak fluent russian as well, I was born in brooklyn and still live here. I have moved a total of 3 blocks in my entire life. My family came over in the 70's from Odessa.

As far as sports, I wasn't always the out of shape fuck I am now. I was on the baseball team in HS, I played 1st base and right field but mostly 1st. I was pretty Damn good at that, I loved it too.