My favorite teacher died on Sunday

The Jays · 10-15-2003, 02:54 AM

And I'm sad and all that, so my question is, how do I go about finding out where someone is buried? I won't be in town for the funeral, but I'll be around on Saturday. Do I just go to the cemetary and look around for the freshest grave? I mean, Goatweed can atest, Moravian Cemetary is fucking huge. Isn't there an easier way to locate a grave?

The Sleeper · 10-15-2003, 02:55 AM

ask someone who went to the funeral

The Jays · 10-15-2003, 02:57 AM

like, her daughter? "Excuse me, Marie, you don't know me or anything, but, where's your mommy buried?"

The Sleeper · 10-15-2003, 02:58 AM

I was thnking along the lines of one of your classmates

The Jays · 10-15-2003, 02:59 AM

Yeah, she was my sixth grade teacher. I haven't talked to most of those kids in years, don't have any numbers or e-mail addresses of them. It's impossible.

Galt · 10-15-2003, 03:16 AM

call the fucking local newspaper. Holy shit. Have you ever even LOOKED at the obituaries?

The Jays · 10-15-2003, 03:19 AM

Like I said in my first post, MORAVIAN CEMETARY. I read the fuckin obit. But, like I said, the cemetary is fucking huge. I need to find where one single plot is, in a cemetary of thousands and thousands of graves. How does one go about finding such a plot in such a large area?

The Jays · 10-15-2003, 03:20 AM

I don't know what town you're from, but our obituaries don't end with "and she's buried in section 321, row 31, plot 7."

Galt · 10-15-2003, 03:25 AM

Like I'm supposed to read the thread before commenting?

Might the newspaper say which funeral home was used?

Would the funeral home not know where they threw him away?

Baring that, they could at least get you in contact with the cemetary manager or whatever the fuck they do with cemeteries.

The Sleeper · 10-15-2003, 03:26 AM

ya just go to whoever runs the cemetary and ask.

The Jays · 10-15-2003, 03:31 AM

Her name was Mrs. Macula. She was my language arts teacher. She taught us in both 5th and 6th grades. She introduced us to Mr. Noun and Mrs. Preposition. She would tell us Mount Macula is about to erupt. She was a sweet, sweet lady. And she died of cancer.

Do cemetaries have like a plot list, that says who's buried where? If they do, why don't they put that shit on the web? My life would be so much easier!

Goatweed · 10-15-2003, 03:38 AM

go to the main office at Moravian and give them your teacher's name - they'll direct you to her plot.

And yeah, that place is huge - my pop is buried there and thank god he's in an easy place to get to, some of those plots seem to go on forever.

GonzoStyle · 10-15-2003, 03:43 AM

well theres usually a grounds keeper on the premises who has a log of all the plots, he can tell you. Sometimes they expect a tip for doing that though, its a hassle for them.

The Jays · 10-15-2003, 03:43 AM

Is the main office scary? LIke , is there some pasty tall sinewy old dude with a shovel and a marble notebook, chillen in some shed, and I have to knock on it and he's all like that old dude from Home Alone, except with a spade instead of a snow shovel? Cuz if that's the case, I'll just go the the beach and throw a wreath in the water and that'll be that.

Goatweed · 10-15-2003, 03:48 AM

nah, I've been on there once - it's just a big room, then you go to the desk and talk to one of the suits - they're real nice in there.

Goatweed · 10-15-2003, 03:48 AM

I did see some shovels outside the place the last time I was there, however.

HedCold · 10-15-2003, 03:55 AM

shovels at a cemetary? :-o

The Jays · 10-15-2003, 03:55 AM

Nah, this is what'll happen.

I go to this office, and they tell me that I have to go find the grave digger. And I'm gonna be wandering along the fucking hills of Moravian, and I'm gonna come upon some 7' tall dude in overalls, sitting underneath a oak tree munching on an apple, and I'm gonna ask him where my teacher is buried, and he's gonna pull out a small tablet that has the names of the most recent graves dug, and he'll give it to me, and it's gonna say "The Jays" on it, at which point I will look up, and BAM! fucking shovel to my fucking head, and then it's gonna be you fucking guys asking the same question I asked at the begining of this thread.

Goatweed · 10-15-2003, 03:57 AM

HedCold Wrote:shovels at a cemetary? :-o

yeah, but they were clean - no dirt on them at all. They weren't new, but they were spotless. I thought that was odd.

GonzoStyle · 10-15-2003, 04:09 AM

I saw sealed brand new condoms in a hookers purse once, she pulled it out and put it on my cock.

I was surprised, it's not like I have AIDS, what a fuckin cunt, I felt insulted until she put her mouth over my penis and began sucking till I ejaculated.