what I learned at my first day at work

[Keyser Soze]

i thought you research fortune 500 companies?

[drusilla]

i love summer time. schools out. 3 months of vacation for me.

[lush]

Bitch! I have a paid internship at Jet Blue but I didn't ask what they're paying me.

[HedCold]

do you at least get discounts on air travel?

[Galt]

I don't DO the research.

The company pays analysts millions of dollars a year to write the research. I am the go-between of the analyst who doesn't have time to speak to every mutual fund that wants to hear what he/she has to say and the portfolio managers in mutual fund or hedge funds that don't have time to read every piece of research that 50 different wall st firms put out to them on a daily basis.

So I have to read the research, and understand the research, explain it quickly.

So it's just a typical sales job. I just happen to be selling research.

[lush]

do you at least get discounts on air travel?

In a nutshell, I said "Yeah, I'll work for you". It's not like it costs them anything. You're flying stand by, those are empty seats and you're paying taxes for the seat. They win by giving out those passes.

[QuickStop]

you know telemarketing isnt nearly as bad as all you people said it was.

[Galt]

No, it is. I hope you enjoy Hell.

[QuickStop]

it really isnt though. maybe its because i have a lot of friends there, but it isnt bad.

[lush]

That's got to be one of the worst jobs. No offense, really

[QuickStop]

no i hear you saying this....but it isnt for me. maybe your situations were different. i have 2 good friends working right next to me, and then a bunch of other people i know from school there. the tedium of it isnt that bad cause im not doing it for more than 2 hours at a time. and they play good music.

[lush]

I guess it's worth it then.

[Galt]

but everyone on the other end of the phone despises you. That can't be fun. Then again, I post on YMB sometimes.

[QuickStop]

actually its really funny. one guy threatened to rain down hellfire upon me. and that drunk lady was just classic. i called her and woke her up and she asked what time it was. she thought it was 7am. it was 7pm. then she told me how old she was. i said she sounded fairly healthy. she said she was fairly drunk.

[Keyser Soze]

i did telemarketing for a week when i was in college. i had to quit before i wound up wanting to place a shotgun in my mouth.

[lush]

I interviewed for a job selling knives. It was creepy. They wanted you to sell them to your friends and family. "How are you Aunt Mary? I want to sell you this meat cleaver."

[HedCold]

i had someone come to my house doing that knife crap. i knew the kid and my parents made me sit through. the horror

[lush]

I go into this place and everyone's rounded up like cattle just waiting and then they tell you that they're in the business of selling quality knives. Its horrible, they hired me and I didn't want the job. I told them I was too busy for this.

[Keyser Soze]

cutco?

"Jesse and I finally got a break and interviewed to become CutCo knife salesman. I don’t know if you have ever had a CutCo salesman pitch you knives, but it is absolutely lame. They hype young kids up about potential earning and teach them how to make a penny into a corkscrew using CutCo scissors. CutCo loves trainees. Why? Well, you have to buy the demo knives for the sales pitch. Easy money for them, shit job for me.


After abusing my friends parent’s sympathy and guilting them into buying a few knives, I decided that the job sucked. Jesse and I hung it up and got jobs at the local Gulf Station in our neighborhood. We were psyched because we could be outside, check out ladies, and party on the job (ummm…beer at the gas station…umm). "

[HedCold]

did they really "hire" you? don't you have to buy the knifes you use to demonstrate?