The Reality Thread

[Galt]

You're not married so you can't talk. Bullshit. Get off your soapbox. Bullshit. This whole messageboard thing is one giant soapbox.

Now, what happens, Mr. none of this means a thing, if you find out your wife is banging other guys. I can't believe you'd be so cavalier about it. You said previously that you wouldn't let her bang other guys and ruin the marriage. I don't know if you were being serious or not.

I look at it this way. If I get married, I'd hope it would be forever, but obviously regardless of what the vows say, I can't be sure that in 30 years we're both going to be the same. I can, however, make the vow that I'll never cheat.

Either, things will go sour with her and I'll want to get out. At this time, because of the problems in my marriage, rather than just looking at other girls, or even flirting, I'll seriously start to think about being with them because I'm not happy in my marriage. At which point, I confront my wife that I'm not happy. I won't say "I want to bang other chicks", but confront the specific issues as to what is bothering me (and "midlife crisis" is not a valid reason). Either those issues are resolved, or they are not. If I decide that they are not. I leave. Maybe not divorce. Separation. Whatever. But be honest about what's up and what's driving it. Then have some balls and do something about it. It's just like breaking up with a girlfriend. People are too pussiefied/afraid to make a decision. "Gee it's much easier to just bang everyone. Then I can be completely selfish and make everyone miserable instead of taking some responsiblity and making a decision one way or the other"

The other situation is that I'm happy with everything but I'm bored with banging the same girl every day, and so I want to bang other people. How fucking weak are you? What have you been married, 3 years? Have some restraint. Christ.

Do you not think of the people who get hurt? Namely, your wife? Her family, your kids if you have any? The girls you are banging that might think something will come out of this. Surely, you're not finding some Xanadu where every girl you fuck does so with no emotions and just wants a roll in the hay. Women always get attached. Sure, maybe you've been able to set things up properly with a few of them, but I guarantee that at least some of the girls think that there is some future. What if you get one of them pregnant. What if that girl doesn't want an abortion? The STD thing was mentioned. There are physical and emotional side effects to numerous people. You don't live your life in a vacuum. There are reprocussions.

I can't understand how so many men have zero discipline, or even worse, just don't give a rat's ass about cheating on their wives.

[Galt]

The pontificating from you is something I expect. But, having you, YOU, the person who has proclaimed that he simply does not have any loving feelings for another human being, spout this venom against cheating is quite amazing.

To clarify.

I don't care a bit about the feelings or good fortunes of people I don't know/don't like. I will freely admit I'm very selfish in that manner. I really have no empathy at all.

However, for people that I care about and are close to me. My friends, my family, girls I am dating (rather than just girls I'm banging), I would go to the ends of the earth for them and walk through fire to help them.

I would never do anything consciously that could hurt them emotionally, physically, or financially. And I would come out all guns blaring at anyone who did hurt someone I loved.

[GonzoStyle]

People cheat every day, sometimes more than once a day. It might not be morally right to one, but it might be perfectly acceptable to another. I wouldn't do it (except with CRX maybe) but I'm also very happy in my marriage. Not everyone is and there might be different reasons that can't simply be solved by saying "just get a divorce".

you wear cosby sweaters and watch star trek and are too nice of a guy, you probably go to church and stuff, no ones questioning you Saint Goat of the weed.

I've had opportunities, prior & during my marriage, but most times it wasnt necessary. Could I do it? Probably, but there would have to be a reason for it.

To do it for the hell of it is a scummy thing, yes - but to do it as a means of an escape, or getting out of a bad situation, or filling some emptiness, whatever - I might not agree with it, but I wont judge if its done in such a way thats not meant to harm or upset anyone.

The point is, it's easy to say GET A DIVORCE, but actually getting it might be to difficult or costly to be bothered with.

If Rooner sleeps well at night doing what he's doing, who the hell am I to judge him? So long as he's not cheating on his wife with mine, I care not.

Speaking of which, I called home & the wife's not there...hmmm

You let me talk to the kid when he grows up, you'll make him a square. Let uncle gonzo tell him about the birds and the bees.

my dad told me about the birds & the bees - then he said "don't get anyone pregnant unless you're married". I think I did ok.

and I'm no square, fucko!!!

It's ok to be square, you're still a-ok in my book daddy-o.

[GonzoStyle]

You're not married so you can't talk. Bullshit. Get off your soapbox. Bullshit. This whole messageboard thing is one giant soapbox.

Now, what happens, Mr. none of this means a thing, if you find out your wife is banging other guys. I can't believe you'd be so cavalier about it. You said previously that you wouldn't let her bang other guys and ruin the marriage. I don't know if you were being serious or not.

I look at it this way. If I get married, I'd hope it would be forever, but obviously regardless of what the vows say, I can't be sure that in 30 years we're both going to be the same. I can, however, make the vow that I'll never cheat.

Either, things will go sour with her and I'll want to get out. At this time, because of the problems in my marriage, rather than just looking at other girls, or even flirting, I'll seriously start to think about being with them because I'm not happy in my marriage. At which point, I confront my wife that I'm not happy. I won't say "I want to bang other chicks", but confront the specific issues as to what is bothering me (and "midlife crisis" is not a valid reason). Either those issues are resolved, or they are not. If I decide that they are not. I leave. Maybe not divorce. Separation. Whatever. But be honest about what's up and what's driving it. Then have some balls and do something about it. It's just like breaking up with a girlfriend. People are too pussiefied/afraid to make a decision. "Gee it's much easier to just bang everyone. Then I can be completely selfish and make everyone miserable instead of taking some responsiblity and making a decision one way or the other"

The other situation is that I'm happy with everything but I'm bored with banging the same girl every day, and so I want to bang other people. How fucking weak are you? What have you been married, 3 years? Have some restraint. Christ.

Do you not think of the people who get hurt? Namely, your wife? Her family, your kids if you have any? The girls you are banging that might think something will come out of this. Surely, you're not finding some Xanadu where every girl you fuck does so with no emotions and just wants a roll in the hay. Women always get attached. Sure, maybe you've been able to set things up properly with a few of them, but I guarantee that at least some of the girls think that there is some future. What if you get one of them pregnant. What if that girl doesn't want an abortion? The STD thing was mentioned. There are physical and emotional side effects to numerous people. You don't live your life in a vacuum. There are reprocussions.

I can't understand how so many men have zero discipline, or even worse, just don't give a rat's ass about cheating on their wives.

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I HAVE ISSUES blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

[Keyser Soze]

denial! denial! denial!

[Galt]

Don't ever come trying to date my little sister.

[GonzoStyle]

Galts entitled to his opinion, even though its wrong.

[Keyser Soze]

good point, imagine one of these savages marrying your sister or daughter???

[Galt]

and Anthony was the hypocrite about Howard and Spaz being mentioned.

THAT SUMABITCH DONE CHEATED ON MY SISTA!!! IMA GONNA KILLEM

[GonzoStyle]

good point, imagine one of these savages marrying your sister or daughter???

god forbid they have a healthy marriage.

It's better to marry someone who will never cheat but will simply be miserable with you the rest of your life and will end up hating you. Then it turns into a "You know i'd never hit you baby, it was an accident".. fast forward a couple years and you're walking around in a stained wife beater tee, unwashed, drunk and hating everything and everyone, molesting your children.... but cheating is bad.

[The Sleeper]

it is kind of weird to assume that everyone has the same moral outlook you do and cry "denial" when they don't agree with you

[GonzoStyle]

This will be the moral issue on ballots come 2008.

[Galt]

good point, imagine one of these savages marrying your sister or daughter???

god forbid they have a healthy marriage.

It's better to marry someone who will never cheat but will simply be miserable with you the rest of your life and will end up hating you. Then it turns into a "You know i'd never hit you baby, it was an accident".. fast forward a couple years and you're walking around in a stained wife beater tee, unwashed, drunk and hating everything and everyone, molesting your children.... but cheating is bad.

so everyone who doesn't cheat is miserable. And the only way to have a healthy marriage is by cheating in secret?

I never said anything about staying with someone you are miserable. If you are miserable, then you shouldn't be married. Try to fix it. If it's unfixable then get out. That's why you communicate. And you can't have good communication with your spouse if you're going to be keeping all these secrets from her (like fucking other people)

[Keyser Soze]

i dont think marriage morality should be regulated by the government, thats going too far. if you want to cheat on your wife, thats your business. rooner posted it here for discussion, so i let my opinion be known.

It's better to marry someone who will never cheat but will simply be miserable with you the rest of your life and will end up hating you. Then it turns into a "You know i'd never hit you baby, it was an accident".. fast forward a couple years and you're walking around in a stained wife beater tee, unwashed, drunk and hating everything and everyone, molesting your children.... but cheating is bad.

being faithful doesn't necessarily mean you will have a good, healthy marriage. being unfaithful sure as hell doesn't mean you'll have a good healthy marriage. you're talking apples and oranges here. just because you're not banging someone on the side doesnt mean you're going to wind up hating your wife.

be a man and talk to your wife about the issues you're having.

[Black Lazerus]

Galt can you please please post your relationship with your parents. I agree somewhat with you, but marriage is not anymore sacred than taking an oath on the stand.

I have bailed on plenty of relationships because i wanted to be with other women. I feel it's not fair to the girl unless you have her ok, women in my experience don't care to much about the sex thing but more about the lies. Trust is the thing they want from men more than anything.

[GonzoStyle]

I simply point to the ridiculous divorce rate, the end, you all lose.

[Keyser Soze]

THEN DON'T GET MARRIED!!!

just fuck everyone you want!!!!!

[GonzoStyle]

I'm not married, calm yourself.

[Black Lazerus]

The only reason the divorce rate was not as high when our parents and our grandparnets were coming up, is because it wasn't as easy. if was as easy maybe my grandfather on my mothers side would be alive today. more on that when this arguement dies down.

[Rooner]

My marriage is great. My wife and I get along great. Like I said, best friends. I tka egreat care of my family. Just bought a house. Just bought a new car. I dont have any drinking or drug issues. Im not abusive verbally or physical. Im working to take even better care of my family by going to school. I work everyday. I dont cheat on my taxes. I give to charity. I like puppies and kittens. This is the ONE thing that I do that some may not agree with. Does this ONE thing make me a bad person?

If I found her banging someone else is different. Women cannot seperate feelings and sex. Not all, but the majority. And I know my wife, if she was banging someone else, that would mean she had feelings for them, that would hurt. The women Im with know from the jump there are absolutely no feelings involved, purely physical. I can do that with no problem. She wouldnt be able to.