Death Wish - No, not who would you like to see die

[OAS]

With the passing of my mother a couple of weeks ago, after going through all the funeral arrangements, it became evident to me to make sure that my death wish was documented and taken care of in advance. By doing this, my children will not have to deal with the decisions and expenses associated with the funeral. Also this way my wishes will be honored and I will head off to wherever the fuck we head to the way I want to head there.

Yes I know you all think this is long overdue for me as many of you think “my time” is just around the corner. But as I have said often, I’ll outlive most of you.

So what is your “Death Wish”? How would you like to go? What do you want your funeral to be like? Cremation or worm food?

I plan to be shot by a jealous husband or boyfriend (Come on, would you have expected anything else?) Actually, I envision cancer or some hideous illness to kill me. When I go, my instructions are to have me cremated and my ashes placed in a Folgers coffee can with some grounds left in the can so that I can take some coffee with me. My son then has instructions to take my remains and sprinkle them into a lake in the very Northwest corner of Wisconsin, where he and I have muskie fished for years. I then can spend eternity searching the lake for that record muskie that got away.

[Hybrid]

that is so sappy and corny

[Gooch]

With the passing of my mother a couple of weeks ago, after going through all the funeral arrangements, it became evident to me to make sure that my death wish was documented and taken care of in advance. By doing this, my children will not have to deal with the decisions and expenses associated with the funeral. Also this way my wishes will be honored and I will head off to wherever the fuck we head to the way I want to head there.

Yes I know you all think this is long overdue for me as many of you think “my time” is just around the corner. But as I have said often, I’ll outlive most of you.

So what is your “Death Wish”? How would you like to go? What do you want your funeral to be like? Cremation or worm food?

I plan to be shot by a jealous husband or boyfriend (Come on, would you have expected anything else?) Actually, I envision cancer or some hideous illness to kill me. When I go, my instructions are to have me cremated and my ashes placed in a Folgers coffee can with some grounds left in the can so that I can take some coffee with me. My son then has instructions to take my remains and sprinkle them into a lake in the very Northwest corner of Wisconsin, where he and I have muskie fished for years. I then can spend eternity searching the lake for that record muskie that got away.

But as I have said often, I’ll outlive most of you.

wishful thinking, Wilford Brimley


I hope your remains are shot out of a cannon, along with muskie fish parts.

[OAS]

So I head into the afterlife all sappy and corny. I'll be happy and I save about $7,000 in funeral costs.

[Gooch]

i'd take a collection for the cannon.

[diceisgod]

I'm going to take my own meaning as to what this thread is about and I am going to say: you

[OAS]

Can I throw a couple of ice cold Millers into the cannon to wash down the fish??

[crx girl]

But as I have said often, I’ll outlive most of you.

considering you're 20 years older than the majority of the posters here, how do you figure on that? average life expectancy is up to 77 now, so you're gonna be shot by a jealous husband when you're in your late 90's? that's mighty ambitious.

anyway, i'd like to not drown, burn, be tortured to death, i'm not sure there's really any preferential way to go, but i am all for the cremation thing. we take up enough room alive, just fry my ass and throw me in the ocean or something.

[OAS]

considering you're 20 years older than the majority of the posters here

Many of you are catching up

Come on Trish you know me, I never give up!

[Black Lazerus]

But as I have said often, I’ll outlive most of you.

considering you're 20 years older than the majority of the posters here, how do you figure on that? average life expectancy is up to 77 now, so you're gonna be shot by a jealous husband when you're in your late 90's? that's mighty ambitious.

anyway, I'd like to not drown, burn, be tortured to death, I'm not sure there's really any preferential way to go, but i am all for the cremation thing. we take up enough room alive, just fry my ass and throw me in the ocean or something.

because most of us are fat slobs who's hearts will give up on us any year now. Drug addicts who will OD someday soon once we realizes this is all we have to live for. drunks who's liver will fail sooner or later. and I'm black the malt liquor and fried food and itchy police will get me sooner or later.

[Danked]

The mothership will come for me long before my time so I'm not worried about it.

[HedCold]

But as I have said often, I’ll outlive most of you.

considering you're 20 years older than the majority of the posters here, how do you figure on that? average life expectancy is up to 77 now, so you're gonna be shot by a jealous husband when you're in your late 90's? that's mighty ambitious.

anyway, I'd like to not drown, burn, be tortured to death, I'm not sure there's really any preferential way to go, but i am all for the cremation thing. we take up enough room alive, just fry my ass and throw me in the ocean or something.

because most of us are fat slobs who's hearts will give up on us any year now. Drug addicts who will OD someday soon once we realizes this is all we have to live for. drunks who's liver will fail sooner or later. and I'm black the malt liquor and fried food and itchy police will get me sooner or later.

no, we're all going to be drafted, duh

[Galt]

Why would I waste $7k on funeral services when I can spend that money on something I'll enjoy?

Throw my body in a dumpster for all I care. Bury it in the back yard. Give it to a college and let kids cut me up and learn. I don't give a shit. I don't need it anymore.

[Goatweed]

I wanna go out peacefully, preferably not in pain. After that, I don't care what happens because, well, I'll be dead.

[diceisgod]

Jesus would disagree

[Goatweed]

well, that's his fucking problem - he'll get over it.

[Arpikarhu]

i enjoy contemplating OAS's death.

[OAS]

Careful Arpi, you're already one stroke up on me.

[Hybrid]

i see what you did there

[Arpikarhu]

Careful Arpi, you're already one stroke up on me.

but you are 1000 lies about doing covert work up on me.