Handless masturbation

AdolescentMasturbator · 11-06-2002, 06:13 AM

stickysituation2: have you ever masturbaed without using your hands?
stickysituation2: ive found the perfect technique thats way better than using your hand
The Clear Stuff: what?
*** Auto-response sent to The Clear Stuff: I am currently away from the computer.
The Clear Stuff: how is it possible?
stickysituation2: get a towel
stickysituation2: wrap it around
stickysituation2: simulate as a vagina
stickysituation2: and bang away
stickysituation2: and you dont have to worry about getting a tissue
stickysituation2: its a win-win situation all around
The Clear Stuff: does it feel like a real vagina?
stickysituation2: nah
stickysituation2: but its way better than normal masturbation
stickysituation2: because it stimulates the head of the penis way more
The Clear Stuff: what do you do with the towel?
stickysituation2: wash the Hell out of it
stickysituation2: i wash it in the laundry seperate from everything else
stickysituation2: and only use it for that specific purpose
The Clear Stuff: sounds risky
stickysituation2: i guess you can use several layers of toilet paper
stickysituation2: but i dont think itll feel as good
The Clear Stuff: you should post this convo on cdih
stickysituation2: done

Anyone have any better ideas?

HollywoodJewMoses · 11-06-2002, 06:16 AM

christ man, i cant believe you actually posted this

criticslovesnatch · 11-06-2002, 06:17 AM

aren't you like 12?

Danked · 11-06-2002, 06:17 AM

You guys have some pretty fucked up AIM conversations.

Hybrid · 11-06-2002, 06:18 AM

:rofl:

AdolescentMasturbator · 11-06-2002, 06:19 AM

CLS, when are you playing the Laugh Factory with your astonishingly original material?

How is it fucked up? Don't tell me you've never tried to jerk it without your hands.

The Sleeper · 11-06-2002, 06:19 AM

Quote:Anyone have any better ideas?

use sandpaper

AdolescentMasturbator · 11-06-2002, 06:20 AM

That's a good idea. Then I can use the blood as lubricant for next time.

Hybrid · 11-06-2002, 06:21 AM

am. you're one fucked up individual. post more stories please. :lol:

The Sleeper · 11-06-2002, 06:22 AM

youve been listening to too much black metal

AdolescentMasturbator · 11-06-2002, 06:22 AM

I think I'm going to go out on top and take my nap.

If I was listening to too much black metal I'd be whining about the Christians defiling the aryan race in a high-pitched voice and how the Jews are trying to destroy music instead of inventive masturbation techniques.

Edited By AdolescentMasturbator on 1036563828

The Sleeper · 11-06-2002, 06:24 AM

wait, if you use the towel for masturbating, what do you wear on your head???

AdolescentMasturbator · 11-06-2002, 06:25 AM

That's what the C4 is for duh.

LyricalGomez · 11-06-2002, 06:28 AM

I said it in chat, I'll say it here

Spend more time finding real pussy

AdolescentMasturbator · 11-06-2002, 06:29 AM

Does real pussy give you weird rashes on the tip of your penis? I thought not.

criticslovesnatch · 11-06-2002, 06:29 AM

pussy > towels.

AdolescentMasturbator · 11-06-2002, 06:30 AM

At least towels don't spit.

LyricalGomez · 11-06-2002, 06:30 AM

Please tell me that was a joke

You are honestly trying to convince us that your fucking towel is better than pussy?

Go kill yourself right now and end it all

AdolescentMasturbator · 11-06-2002, 06:31 AM

You are just jealous because you only have crappy kleenex tissues.

LyricalGomez · 11-06-2002, 06:32 AM

I stick with the real thing thank you very much