I'm bored with fake drama - now i'm fucking with them for real

[diceisgod]

This is a current and will hopefully be a nasty and continuing saga in my real life. I'll keep you posted as it unfolds. Damn I'm such a clever prick.

Email War!!

To: Dad's girlfriend
From: me

Hello GF,

I believe we need to set some things straight. Our IM convo yesterday disturbed me and quite frankly pissed me off a great deal. So I've chosen to speak my mind in email and a day later, to allow myself to cool off, handle this situation rationally, and potentially salvage a civil relationship between you and me. I am not one to mince words, so here it is.

The issue concerns my father's birthday and my failure to have remembered it. Firstly, I don't care about birthdays. They are dates on a calendar. Period. Secondly, you seemed to imply that the fact that I could care less about birthdays speaks to how I feel about my father. Well that's bullshit and a very ignorant and childish assertion. My relationship with my father is my business. My mother's and sister's relationship with my father is their business. Your relationship with him is yours. End of story.

I know you have had to deal with a lot of bullshit due to my father's involvement with my side of the family. It is a shame, but you don't know ANYTHING other than what you hear SECOND HAND from my father. There is no "right" side. You are on my father's side. That's fine. You are looking out for my father's interests and I respect and appreciate that. The drama between them is an ugly situation and it's unfortunate you have to deal with my father's risidual frustrations. But for you to make any kind of value judgements about me, my sister or my mother makes you look both spiteful and, frankly, dumb.

I hope I'm wrong about all of this and I just merely misunderstood you yesterday. I've said it before and I mean it when I say now that I genuinely like you. You have a generous heart and cook really really good. But I have a miriad of stressful relationships between my mother, my sister, and my grandmother to deal with and I haven't the room or patience for another. Please don't IM me with a chip on your shoulder, to lay guilt trips or probe for information about matters that don't concern either of us. My father and I have come a LONG way the past year and I feel we are slowly building a strong bond. Please don't become adversarial with me. If you think less of me for whatever reason, then just don't speak to me. But if you insist on having an argument, things will get ugly and my father will know about it. This is stress that all of us, I'm sure, can do without. Have a good day and again I appologize if I have misunderstood you.

Me.

Response:

I am extremely disappointed in your comments to me and do not feel they are appropriate. You interpreted my note about the birthday totally as you saw fit. I was simply planning a small event for his birthday. Feel free to tell your Dad whatever you like as I am not threatened in any way by you or anything you choose to say. I too, will relate my position on it at that point to him.

It is with regret that you feel the way you do as I have, over the years welcomed both you and your sister into our lives and homes and encouraged your dad to see you both. I don't believe I only see one side of the story. Contrary to your comments about me being dumb, childish, ignorant and spiteful I find that real offensive and disrespectful and I assure you I am well aware of the whole picture from you and am definately not ignorant by any means. Any comments I have made regarding your other family members were solicited by your comments about them to me.

If you don't want a friendship with me and cannot have respect for me then that is your decision.
I am real sorry you feel the way you do but, my feelings for you have always been a supportive role and genuine, positive, caring one. If that offends you then I apologize for that. No guilt trips or probing intended. If you took it that way, then that is your interpretation of it not mine and you made it into a guilt trip. I don't feel any more or less of you for not acknowledging it and never indicated I did. I chose to acknowledge his birthday period just like you chose not to.

I respect your opinion, as to having the right to one end of story. I am not interested in arguing with you about anything and still maintain that my intentions are and were only good ones.

You have made your points and so have I here. It is best that we just honor each others feelings and move on from there. I accept your apology for misunderstanding me but, I would appreciate a change in the choice of words regarding me in the future. I have never portrayed you as dumb, ignorant and spiteful. A kinder, gentler tone would be great if you are going to continue to communicate with me.




I think the bitch cried. LOL

[Arpikarhu]

seems you misinterpreted her im due to issues you have with her and your dad.

on another note, i am disturbed by this galt started trend for everyone to post thier familial/relationship problems in a lengthy diatribe or pasted missive.
DIG is so much better than this to be a follower of trends. for shame!

[Keyser Soze]

i encourage this real life drama begun by galt, its much more interesting than fake board drama.

[diceisgod]

Nope. She's a backstabbing cunt, and my diplomacy card is up. That email may be as nice to her as I will ever be. Pasted missive? Your vocabulary is extensive for a gay man.

[Arpikarhu]

we gay men do alot of reading and vocabulary quizzes with flash cards when we arent butt fucking

[drusilla]

you got to fill the recovery time with something

[The Sleeper]

yea I like when people post real life stuff.

[diceisgod]

I just love how I call her dumb, spiteful, ignorant, and childish and then compliment her cooking.

[Goatweed]

yeah, the cooking comment made me laugh - totally came out of left field, considering the tone of the email in general.

It's nice to see I'm not the only one with fucked up family issues. Thanks DIG.

[Galt]

AH AHH A HAHA AHH DIG's family doesn't love him or each other!!!

[PatCooper]

Godammit DIG tomorrow is my motherfucking birthday and you better remember buddy or else!!1

[diceisgod]

The conclusion. I wish and hope this drama would continue, but hopefully for her sake she is not THAT stupid.

My follow up email:

I acknowledge and appreciate that you have always welcomed me into your home. My perceptions, as far as the "dumb", "spiteful" etc. comments, are by no means how I perceive or wish to portray you personally. That would be far from truth since we have spoken extensively an I know you to be both kind and intelligent. Granted I could have used more kinder language, but as I stated I don't mince words and my diplomatic skills are war torn. However, the note you sent was (roughly) as follows:

***talk about the birthday***
Me: I'm glad you guys had fun.
You: We honor birthdays. Don't worry your father is loved and respected around here.

Now, given that IM is a rather impersonal means of communicating and can lead to misundertanding, how might you interpret that? Now couple that with all of our chats regarding my sister, my mom, etc. NONE or very few of which were initiated by myself. I don't want to talk about it. You claim your comments regarding these issues are solicited by my comments. But I don't comment. If I do it's rare. As I said, and I reiterate, I don't wanna talk about them and I don't care. I only care about my relationship with my father. Yet, you bring these issues up all the time. You can say that I am misreading the situation and contorting it as an excuse to vent and project on to you because of secret resentment, my own personal issues, or whatever. But this is false, I can assure you.

Also, it was not my intention to "threaten" you by saying my father would be dragged into this. And I assuredly also have no fears or quams of telling him everything we've ever or currently talk about. But this is obviously not neccesary or appropriate. We have had a small misunderstanding and I'm willing to let it lie. I hope you are too. But in the future I hope we can just avoid talking about things that neither of us have any true and complete understanding. If the drama between my father, mother and sister is all we have to talk about then let us just not talk. I don't need to talk about it. I live it. I try to get away from it and forget it. Peace.


Her response:

It seems to me that if the unwanted information never gets here via e-mail to start with then this problem is over isn't it? You can control what information you e-mail here and be part of the solution here. No calls come here from there only your e-mails to Tom. This soap opera scenario needs to stop both ways. Your issues with Tom and his with you and Alex are yours to work out. Neither one of us want to hear all the goings on up there.

I have no interest in involving myself nor do I want to speculate on knowing the whole picture. My efforts to talk to you were not interpreted the way they were meant or intended and thats it.

Any and all conversations with you will be much different from now on I assure you of that.

So, if you are in agreement to working on being part of the solution as opposed to being part of the problem then this issue is over entirely. I accept my responsibility to being part of the solution. I,too would like to end this disagreement and get going on a more positive note.

My response:

Trying to befriend you was a mistake. You are obviously an ass and everything I implied in my original email. Never speak to me again.


hehe

[Arpikarhu]

she is right, you are immature and selfish

[QuickStop]

you guys need to fuck and get it over with

[Arpikarhu]

i ambeginning to think the source of all the family drama is dig himself.

[diceisgod]

0

[diceisgod]

This is my greatest piece yet. I'm in awe of myself right now.

[diceisgod]

So this is where we left off:

Me:
Trying to befriend you was a mistake. You are obviously an ass and everything I implied in my original email. Never speak to me again.

Her:
No problem buddy.

Enter the Big Dog (me pops)
To: Dad
From: Me

Well Father this may be our last communication depending on how you choose to view this situation. I have tried my best to be the fence-mender, the level-headed one, and all around decent fellow. I have shit flying at me from all angles but now I will at the very least end one of them and if you no longer choose to keep in touch with me then so be it. It is my duty to inform you that I think your roomate is the biggest asshole I have ever met...EVER. And yes I mean XXXXXX. She is bitter, narrow-minded and a grade-A moron. She has been running her mouth for too long to me over the computer and I have finally decided to put an end to it.

It's unfortunate that our lives together have been surrounded by bullshit and neurotic people but both of us are not completely blameless. I have tried my best, as you have, to build a relationship, something more befitting a father and son. We are two very different people but besides that I have generally enjoyed the brief time we have spent together as adults. What follows are my final communications with that shithead. I'm sorry to bring you into this, but I didn't ask for it either. Take care.

***all the emails I have posted above (!)******

An hour and a half later I get this....

Her:

I want to express to you how much I enjoy our friendship and would never intentionally want to destroy that and I don't believe you do either. So what do you say we wipe the slate clean of anything we said to each other that was hurtful so we can continue what I believe to be a friendship worth saving and apologize to each other and move on.

I am apologizing to you for letting the stress of our days get the better of us both. I will not send another e-mail until I receive one from you and we work through this. I really like you alot too and think very highly of you and always have but, will honor your request to not e-mail you unless you think this over and think I have some good points here and want to resume the friendship where we left off.

I don't want to be stressful to you in any way and only want you to enjoy our chats and be as helpful as I can as a friend. I would truly miss our friendship. I hope you feel the same way.

I wish we could talk in person but, I am doing the best I can to relay to you that befriending me was a good thing and not a mistake. Your my friend regardless of the outcome and you are always welcome in our home and we will both always be there for you anytime you need us. XXXXX as your dad and me as your friend.



MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Arpikarhu]

1. you communicate this with your dad through an e-mail? asshole

2. you call your dads girlfriend an asshole to him? asshole

3. regardless of whether you are right or wrong you have handled this in the most reprehensible, childish manner. you have nothing to be proud of at all.

[diceisgod]

3. regardless of whether you are right or wrong you have handled this in the most reprehensible, childish manner. you have nothing to be proud of at all.

The masterpiece is now complete.



Edited By diceisgod on 1075355309