+- FBHW Forums (https://www.cdih.net/fbhw)
+-- Forum: Free Beer and Hot Wings Show (https://www.cdih.net/fbhw/forumdisplay.php?fid=6)
+--- Forum: Free Beer and Hot Wings Forum (https://www.cdih.net/fbhw/forumdisplay.php?fid=3)
+--- Thread: Hotwings how do you....... (/showthread.php?tid=2005)
Hotwings how do you....... - pgun3 - 12-03-2008
fall asleep on the toilet??????
How much time do you spend there? Me I am too busy squeezing one out to relax enough to fall asleep?? LOL
I have heard of reading on the toilet!!!
Hotwings how do you....... - hotwings - 12-03-2008
5 1/2 hours of sleep and advancing age. In recent weeks, I have also fallen asleep on the floor a number of times and face-down on my computer keyboard last night.
Hotwings how do you....... - beckyp - 12-03-2008
buy your wife a airhorn for Christmas and stop being stupid. toilets aren't for sleeping you big pansy.
Hotwings how do you....... - 0rz0ski - 12-03-2008
I fall asleep on the floor all of the time. It's perfectly normal. The floor is there, and it works for a 20 min nap before going back to coding.
Hotwings how do you....... - linzi - 12-03-2008
I stayed out all night and had to work at 7am in the deli. I fell asleep standing up, bent over with my head on the counter, kinda like falling asleep at school at your desk with your arms folded, but I was standing up.
Sadly, I too have fallen asleep on the can. I have insomnia and when you're only sleeping 1-3 hours, it's not too hard to do. It's dark, you lean over on the sink, boom you're out like a light. It was right after I had my first child so maybe I can get a pass.....
Hotwings how do you....... - burnking - 12-03-2008
Other than bed, I prefer the floor because it's one of the few places I can actually stretch out. Most couches tend to be too short. I've never even considered falling asleep on the crapper.
Hotwings how do you....... - dino - 12-03-2008
I'd hate to fall asleep on the toilet. I bet my legs would go numb and when I woke up I'd fall over cause i couldn't work my legs. Now that would be embarrassing.
Hotwings how do you....... - Howie Feltersnatch - 12-03-2008
hotwings Wrote:I have also fallen asleep..<snip>..face-down on my computer keyboard last night.
think of all the fecal matter, fingers and booger nails you inhaled.
nice.
Hotwings how do you....... - Queenie - 12-03-2008
I can't fall asleep on the toilet, because my feet don't touch the ground!!
damnhandicaptoilets
Hotwings how do you....... - potthole - 12-03-2008
I haven't fallen asleep on the toilet, but I have fallen asleep in a sitting position, as if I were on the can, before. In highschool I pulled an all-nighter, and then went into work early to help unload supplies from that day's truck, and fell asleep sitting on some boxes in the backstock.
Hotwings how do you....... - medicron - 12-03-2008
drive an ambulance.
Hotwings how do you....... - medicron - 12-03-2008
do you first put your foot on the brake, o wait i think i might need some oxygen for this.
Hotwings how do you....... - burnking - 12-03-2008
medicron Wrote:do you first put your foot on the brake, o wait i think i might need some oxygen for this.
Go on. Bring it home.
Hotwings how do you....... - potthole - 12-03-2008
medicron Wrote:do you first put your foot on the brake, o wait i think i might need some oxygen for this.
Gee, I can't figure out why the guys on the show didn't realize you were being funny in your e-mails... you're a laugh riot!
Hotwings how do you....... - Queenie - 12-03-2008
medicron Wrote:do you first put your foot on the brake, o wait i think i might need some oxygen for this.
Awesome avatar!!!!
+1
Hotwings how do you....... - medicron - 12-03-2008
keep from loosing your voice, when i have to stick my head out of the window and yell WAAAAAAAAAAH OOOOOOO WAAAAAAAAAH OOOOOOOO
Hotwings how do you....... - moobsminger - 12-03-2008
When you haven't gotten enough sleep, you get outta bed and go to take your morning stool, you turn on a space heater and point it right at yourself, it's really nice to just doze off. Sometimes, you can't not do it if you try.
Hotwings how do you....... - LimpBagel - 12-04-2008
So have you cleaned up all the debris and then fall asleep or is it getting all crusty down there? If you do clean up, how hard is it to then just keep standing and walk to your bed?
By the way, standing is the correct way to clean up.
Hotwings how do you....... - linzi - 12-04-2008
LimpBagel Wrote:So have you cleaned up all the debris and then fall asleep or is it getting all crusty down there? If you do clean up, how hard is it to then just keep standing and walk to your bed?/drop/*crickets*/drop/
By the way, standing is the correct way to clean up.
Hotwings how do you....... - chlietoris63 - 12-04-2008
This relates, so I'm posting it here. Hubby HAS fallen asleep on the throne. He needs 30-45 minutes for his "morning constitutional". To hear him explain it, it is a religious experience. As best I can, I will try to explain it:
1) Privacy!! FINALLY! Privacy!
2) The urge cometh! Horns should be sounding, for I am evacuating that which was within me!!!
3) I am sad, as I have now lost a part of me..
4) I rise! Victorious against the usurper!!!
5) I now pray to the deity of the toilet, Turdias Expellas!
6) Now I must interact with the world who CANNOT understand the momentous event that has occurred within the walls of this humble domicile!!
I go in, do my business and leave. simple as that. Every man I have ever known sees this as a quest for elimination and vanquishing of the enemy within. Why???
Hotwings how do you....... - Rock Monster - 12-04-2008
chlietoris63 Wrote:Every man I have ever known sees this as a quest for elimination and vanquishing of the enemy within. Why???
I think you answered your own question...
chlietoris63 Wrote:1) Privacy!! FINALLY! Privacy!
Hotwings how do you....... - chlietoris63 - 12-04-2008
Updates to Do the DOO!!! ( From Hubby!)
I must first give thanks for the blessing I am, hopefully, about to
receive.
I must also light candles, (or a cigarette) and recite the Turd's prayer
in Latin. Then wait for a thunderous sign from the Heavens.
After which, if the Lord finds favor on me, the red cheeks will part and
the great exodus can begin. Noting that there are always stragglers.
You also left out the gigantic "911 clean-up" that follows, which
includes yet another prayer that the porcelain alter may accept my burnt
offering and not reject it.
Then there's the recovery period, where I must stand tall and work out
any kinks in my colon and spine before I am able to walk upright in a
pleasing manner to Him.
After which I once again give thanks as my twisted, broken body makes
it's way to the pool of cleanliness, to wash away any residual sin.
Then and only then may I straighten out my attire and rejoin mankind as
a productive member of society.
Hotwings how do you....... - -Jiggy- - 12-04-2008
chlietoris63 Wrote:Updates to Do the DOO!!! ( From Hubby!)yeah that sounds about right.
I must first give thanks for the blessing I am, hopefully, about to
receive.
I must also light candles, (or a cigarette) and recite the Turd's prayer
in Latin. Then wait for a thunderous sign from the Heavens.
After which, if the Lord finds favor on me, the red cheeks will part and
the great exodus can begin. Noting that there are always stragglers.
You also left out the gigantic "911 clean-up" that follows, which
includes yet another prayer that the porcelain alter may accept my burnt
offering and not reject it.
Then there's the recovery period, where I must stand tall and work out
any kinks in my colon and spine before I am able to walk upright in a
pleasing manner to Him.
After which I once again give thanks as my twisted, broken body makes
it's way to the pool of cleanliness, to wash away any residual sin.
Then and only then may I straighten out my attire and rejoin mankind as
a productive member of society.
Hotwings how do you....... - dingdongyo - 12-04-2008
chlietoris63 Wrote:After which I once again give thanks as my twisted, broken body makes
it's way to the pool of cleanliness, to wash away any residual sin.
![[Image: metamucil_wafers.jpg]](http://www.nobodysells4less.com/images/metamucil_wafers.jpg)
?
Hotwings how do you....... - chlietoris63 - 12-04-2008
Rock Monster Wrote:chlietoris63 Wrote:Every man I have ever known sees this as a quest for elimination and vanquishing of the enemy within. Why???
I think you answered your own question...
chlietoris63 Wrote:1) Privacy!! FINALLY! Privacy!
Or did I?
Hotwings how do you....... - moobsminger - 12-05-2008
LimpBagel Wrote:So have you cleaned up all the debris and then fall asleep or is it getting all crusty down there? If you do clean up, how hard is it to then just keep standing and walk to your bed?
By the way, standing is the correct way to clean up.
I know for me, if I made it to clean up time without falling asleep, I'm home free, but when I'm too tired, it overwhelms me before I get to that point.
Hotwings how do you....... - LimpBagel - 12-05-2008
Moobs Minger Wrote:LimpBagel Wrote:So have you cleaned up all the debris and then fall asleep or is it getting all crusty down there? If you do clean up, how hard is it to then just keep standing and walk to your bed?
By the way, standing is the correct way to clean up.
I know for me, if I made it to clean up time without falling asleep, I'm home free, but when I'm too tired, it overwhelms me before I get to that point.
You're a gross human being. Eat some fiber so you don't sit on the can so long that you lose interest in consciousness.