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+--- Thread: Deep Thoughts by....you (/showthread.php?tid=2695)
Deep Thoughts by....you - -Jiggy- - 03-11-2009
I thought of this when I was on the toilet today. (Just so you have a better handle of the situation) Who remembers Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. If you don't then look up some of the videos. This could be a success or a giant turd but what are some of your deep thoughts.
BTW, you can also share some of your favorite Jack Handey thoughts as well if you want to go that route. I'll start one off with one of his.
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
Deep Thoughts by....you - Biff - 03-11-2009
The face of a child says a lot. Especially the mouth part.
Deep Thoughts by....you - linzi - 03-11-2009
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little niece to Disneyland, but instead I drove her to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said "Disneyland burned down."
She cried and cried, but I think that deep down, she thought it was a pretty good joke.
I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
Deep Thoughts by....you - -Jiggy- - 03-11-2009
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went
to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
Deep Thoughts by....you - Titan! - 03-11-2009
your momma Wrote:One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little niece to Disneyland, but instead I drove her to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said "Disneyland burned down."
She cried and cried, but I think that deep down, she thought it was a pretty good joke.
I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
OMG ! I was going to quote that exact same thing. Wow.
Here's one of mine.
I like college basketball, especially the cheerleaders.
Deep Thoughts by....you - sunshyne - 03-11-2009
wouldn't it be wierd if cats could talk like how parrots can?
Deep Thoughts by....you - Queenie - 03-11-2009
sunshyne Wrote:wouldn't it be wierd if cats could talk like how parrots can?
[flash=350,287]http://www.youtube.com/v/eV71mpbvl-g&hl=en[/flash]
Deep Thoughts by....you - Mark the Valet - 03-11-2009
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in
my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but
it's just eggs hatching.
Deep Thoughts by....you - Queenie - 03-11-2009
Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.
Deep Thoughts by....you - burnking - 03-11-2009
Instead of Jack Handey, I'll throw a Pinky quote in here. His quotes seem to fall under the "deep thoughts" category.
"If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?"
Deep Thoughts by....you - zdunklee - 03-11-2009
If a man has an idea in the woods with no women around, is he still wrong?
Deep Thoughts by....you - Queenie - 03-11-2009
zdunklee Wrote:If a man has an idea in the woods with no women around, is he still wrong?
Always!
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Deep Thoughts by....you - Rock Monster - 03-11-2009
Queenie Wrote:zdunklee Wrote:If a man has an idea in the woods with no women around, is he still wrong?
Always!
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
I giggle like a school girl, because that would be some ironic shit!!
Do polar bears have dark meat or white meat?
Deep Thoughts by....you - zdunklee - 03-11-2009
Depends if they ate penguins or eskimos.
What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it's all about?
Deep Thoughts by....you - Queenie - 03-11-2009
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
Deep Thoughts by....you - airhornahole - 03-11-2009
Queenie Wrote:"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
I don't know. It depends on if the "I am" is an answer to "Are you pregnant?"
Deep Thoughts by....you - Queenie - 03-11-2009
airhornahole Wrote:Queenie Wrote:"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
I don't know. It depends on if the "I am" is an answer to "Are you pregnant?"
You have a point there. ???
Deep Thoughts by....you - Queenie - 03-11-2009
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
Deep Thoughts by....you - peachs - 03-11-2009
zdunklee Wrote:Depends if they ate penguins or eskimos.
What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it's all about?
Damn you ZDunk... you beat me to this....
Deep Thoughts by....you - Titan! - 03-11-2009
I wonder what it would be like to eat nothing but corn for a week
Deep Thoughts by....you - burnking - 03-12-2009
"The crows seem to be calling my name," thought Caw.
Deep Thoughts by....you - burnking - 03-12-2009
Laurie got offended when I used the word "puke" but to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
Deep Thoughts by....you - linzi - 03-12-2009
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself:
"Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind".
What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
Whoa. I just blew my own mind man.
Deep Thoughts by....you - Titan! - 03-12-2009
If there was some kind of sudden disease that killed all the chickens in the world, I'd be ok with that, cause we still have cows
Deep Thoughts by....you - zdunklee - 03-12-2009
Titan ! Wrote:If there was some kind of sudden disease that killed all the chickens in the world, I'd be ok with that, cause we still have cows
Howie would be ok with that too.
Deep Thoughts by....you - peachs - 03-12-2009
I might actually like vegetarian chick'n nuggets.....
Deep Thoughts by....you - zdunklee - 03-12-2009
Peachs Wrote:I might actually like vegetarian chick'n nuggets.....
Isn't that an oxymoron?
Deep Thoughts by....you - Queenie - 03-12-2009
What idi0t put an 's' in the word lisp?
Deep Thoughts by....you - alex - 03-13-2009
We don't stop playing because we get old
We get old because we stop playing.
Deep Thoughts by....you - 0rz0ski - 03-13-2009
Hmmm...I don't remember eating corn...
Deep Thoughts by....you - -Jiggy- - 03-13-2009
Any man who debateth math to the point of name hurling is someone who needs to get out more.
-Unknown source-
Deep Thoughts by....you - Queenie - 03-13-2009
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did."
Deep Thoughts by....you - Rock Monster - 03-13-2009
Confucious say: ''Baseball wrong, man with four balls cannot walk."
Deep Thoughts by....you - Philly Mike - 03-13-2009
Did you ever wonder if mom gave dad a BJ right before your kiss goodnight?
Deep Thoughts by....you - Queenie - 03-14-2009
Philly Mike Wrote:Did you ever wonder if mom gave dad a BJ right before your kiss goodnight?
That's just Effed up Mike!!
Deep Thoughts by....you - Philly Mike - 03-14-2009
Queenie Wrote:Philly Mike Wrote:Did you ever wonder if mom gave dad a BJ right before your kiss goodnight?
That's just effed up Mike!!
lol if you remember the skit from SNL that is the kind of Effed up shit they would put in there.
Deep Thoughts by....you - Mad Dog - 03-14-2009
Probably probably means probably.
Re: Deep Thoughts by....you - Philly Mike - 04-14-2009
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Re: Deep Thoughts by....you - burnking - 04-15-2009
Courtesy of Brian Regan...
"If you're having second thoughts about an appointment you made to visit a Native American friend of yours, would that be a reservation reservation reservation?"
Re: Deep Thoughts by....you - landmammaldolphin - 04-15-2009
My Dad has always told me to "work smarter, not harder." Then after much thought I found a way to do just that. Later my Dad came home from work saw what I was doing and called me lazy.