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+--- Thread: Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. (/showthread.php?tid=2781)
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - Mark the Valet - 03-19-2009
You know the drill. Post stories of when you had a total NARB.
For those of you who are not savvy: NARB = No Apparent Reason Boner
I'll go first.
Back when I was in the military, my job had me going to a lot of classes and schools to keep me competitive in my job field, so I was always traveling to different places.
One school I was going to was only an hour away, so everyone in my job that was attending would carpool and drive there in the wee hours of the morning in order to get to class by 7:30 a.m.
Defying the odds, I was the only dude that carpooled with 3 ladies. One day we arrive at our destination and I realize that the hour long commute of sitting still in the car had made me get a total NARB. All of the women exit the vehicle and tell me to hurry up.
Well, being that my schwance was not in the "upright and stowed" position, it was pretty awkward when I exited the vehicle and I had a huge bulge not unlike Ron Burgundy:
![[Image: burgandyboner.jpg]](http://img24.imageshack.us/my.php?image=burgandyboner.jpg)
Super embarassing. The ladies never let me live it down.
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - beckyp - 03-20-2009
Mark the Valet Wrote:You know the drill. Post stories of when you had a total NARB.
For those of you who are not savvy: NARB = No Apparent Reason Boner
I'll go first.
Back when I was in the military
i stopped reading after that. h0m0.
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - dingdongyo - 03-20-2009
sophomore year high school, right as the lunch bell rang and the entire cafeteria had to get up and go back to class.
damn sweatpants.
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - Mark the Valet - 03-20-2009
Jo Wrote:Mark the Valet Wrote:You know the drill. Post stories of when you had a total NARB.
For those of you who are not savvy: NARB = No Apparent Reason Boner
I'll go first.
Back when I was in the military
i stopped reading after that. h0m0.
You know it makes you horny.
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - krystal - 03-20-2009
I know it turned me on.
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - cuppie - 03-20-2009
I think the worst one I ever had was one Sunday Morning I was sitting in church and we stood up to pray and all of the sudden I was pitching a tent. NARBs in church, it just shouldn't happen.
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - Mad Dog - 03-22-2009
When I was in middle school, I had a huge crush on my Art teacher. She was a beautiful, brunette and 24 years old. My infatuation bordered on out right love and I had her as my Art teacher for all three years of my middle school stint.
When I was in seventh grade, She and our Gym teacher fell in love and had soon set a wedding date due for the spring of my eighth grade year, the week after school let out.
The Gym teacher was an ex-NBA player, totally fit, very athletic and handsome and made a practice of playing basketball with the kids who wanted to at lunch time. As it turns out he had a type of heart disease that weakened his aorta, effectively making it weak as an eighty year old mans. So as he drove to the basket for an easy layup, his heart exploded and he died on the spot.
So the school organized a viewing at the funeral home where the kids all filed past the body of our beloved Gym teacher, with his fiance, my Art teacher stood by his side and cried.
I arranged it so that I was the last person to file through the line of kids and when she saw me, since there was no one left, she embraced me and we stood there alone for at least twenty minutes while she cried in my shoulder. As stood there in front of his casket in her embrace, I felt an embarrassing rise in my pants that I couldn't help. I felt soooo confused. I had dreamed of her embrace for years but I didn't think it would ever happen like this. After I left the funeral home I never saw my teacher again.
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - Mark the Valet - 03-22-2009
That's probably the most devastating NARB story I've ever heard.
NARB at a funeral. Brutal.
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - Biff - 03-22-2009
Mad Dog wins.
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - -Jiggy- - 03-22-2009
I'm giving MD karma points just for telling that story
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - plumpenut - 03-23-2009
I'm depressed now Im gonna go
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - dxanman - 03-23-2009
Mad Dog Wrote:When I was in middle school, I had a huge crush on my Art teacher. She was a beautiful, brunette and 24 years old. My infatuation bordered on out right love and I had her as my Art teacher for all three years of my middle school stint.
When I was in seventh grade, She and our Gym teacher fell in love and had soon set a wedding date due for the spring of my eighth grade year, the week after school let out.
The Gym teacher was an ex-NBA player, totally fit, very athletic and handsome and made a practice of playing basketball with the kids who wanted to at lunch time. As it turns out he had a type of heart disease that weakened his aorta, effectively making it weak as an eighty year old mans. So as he drove to the basket for an easy layup, his heart exploded and he died on the spot.
So the school organized a viewing at the funeral home where the kids all filed past the body of our beloved Gym teacher, with his fiance, my Art teacher stood by his side and cried.
I arranged it so that I was the last person to file through the line of kids and when she saw me, since there was no one left, she embraced me and we stood there alone for at least twenty minutes while she cried in my shoulder. As stood there in front of his casket in her embrace, I felt an embarrassing rise in my pants that I couldn't help. I felt soooo confused. I had dreamed of her embrace for years but I didn't think it would ever happen like this. After I left the funeral home I never saw my teacher again.
My NARB just went away... Thanks!
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - alpacafarmer - 03-24-2009
7th grade. wearing umbros with boxers but no button. sitting diagonaly behind the 1st girl with Ds in my class.. boing!!! " talk about a boner"
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - boaz - 03-25-2009
alpacafarmer Wrote:7th grade. wearing umbros with boxers but no button. sitting diagonaly behind the 1st girl with Ds in my class.. boing!!! " talk about a boner"
Technically, that would be an ARB, not a NARB
Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - alpacafarmer - 03-26-2009
right on... it the only boner memory burned into my brain though..
Re: Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - Mad Dog - 04-06-2009
What? Nobody else gets NARB's
Re: Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - Mark the Valet - 04-06-2009
Yeah, no kidding. Apparently only GIRLS post on this board because it's pretty much show code to tell stories like this.
Come on, you nancies, man up!
Re: Fellas, it's time for NARB theatre. - plumpenut - 05-15-2009
Just heard the clip on Jim Rome from Mark Grace talking about Greg Maddox "loving to pitch" Still one of my favs