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+--- Thread: sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags (/showthread.php?tid=901)
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - mik3 - 07-25-2008
Over the past couple years I have been compiling a list of reason to negatively judge someone at first sight. You could also call this list "Signs That You Are A Douche Bag". I share it with you now due to the parallels with recent installments of "What Hot Wings Thinks". This is the original order in which they presented themselves to me.
1. Your sunglasses have a strap on them, making it easy to hang them around your neck. (exception: You're in Malibu during the 80's and you happen to be checking out a bitchin' new windsurfer.)
2. You've ever watched Nip/Tuck and thought "I should dress like Christian Troy, he's a stud."
3. You have a Kerry/Edwards sticker on your car, or other failed presidential hopefuls.
4. You have a vanity plate, no if ands or buts.
5. If your car has fake bullet hole stickers.
6. You wear sunglasses inside, take them off jackass. Sorry no exceptions here.
7. More then 10% of you daily dialogs is a quote from a Will Ferrell movie. Yes he is very funny but you repeating those funny lines is not, knock it f-ing off.
That's the list as of right now. And now to end this post in "What Hot Wings Thinks" fashion.
Like Kevin Matthews said, "Checkout my new vanity plate, it says "KEVHEAD" and have you seen my sunglasses, they were hanging around my neck."
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - speedbump - 07-25-2008
mik3 Wrote:6. You wear sunglasses inside, take them off jackass. Sorry no exceptions here.
Sorry sir, but if my eyes are dilated I will wear sunglasses whenever the Eff I want.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - fistor!@# - 07-25-2008
8. You use chopsticks at a Chinese Buffet.
9. You point to your wrist when you ask someone what time it is, as if that person needs help locating his watch. Do you also point to your junk when you ask where the bathroom is?
10. You sit in your car and rev the engine for 5 minutes before putting it in gear.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - plungerhand - 07-25-2008
Fistor Wrote:8. You use chopsticks at a Chinese Buffet.
9. You point to your wrist when you ask someone what time it is, as if that person needs help locating his watch. Do you also point to your junk when you ask where the bathroom is?
10. You sit in your car and rev the engine for 5 minutes before putting it in gear.
Our Effing neighbor does that crap with the car. Of course it's like a 89 camaro dueled out (POS). Sometimes I think the Queen is gonna shoot him.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - born2bone - 07-25-2008
11. Big HUGE sunglasses that chicks wear, you know the kind where it looks like they have tinted windsheilds on their effing minger faces.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - brytn - 07-25-2008
jus' P Wrote:Fistor Wrote:8. You use chopsticks at a Chinese Buffet.
9. You point to your wrist when you ask someone what time it is, as if that person needs help locating his watch. Do you also point to your junk when you ask where the bathroom is?
10. You sit in your car and rev the engine for 5 minutes before putting it in gear.
Our Effing neighbor does that crap with the car. Of course it's like a 89 camaro dueled out (POS). Sometimes I think the Queen is gonna shoot him.
69 Camaro is cool. 89 Camaro is unacceptable. Dude is probably looking for his mullet.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Wiener Poopie - 07-25-2008
>
mik3 Wrote:5. If your car has fake bullet hole stickers.
I definitely hate those people >
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Queenie - 07-25-2008
mik3 Wrote:7. More then 10% of you daily dialogs is a quote from a Will Ferrell movie. Yes he is very funny but you repeating those funny lines is not, knock it f-ing off.
Here here . . . . I'll go back to whore island when I get good and ready!
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - elijah - 07-25-2008
I think we are on 12. Popped collars. I know that this is a popular hatred, but there are guys that STILL do this.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Queenie - 07-25-2008
elijah Wrote:I think we are on 12. Popped collars. I know that this is a popular hatred, but there are guys that STILL do this.
![[Image: 4_popped-collars_cool.jpg]](http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/4_popped-collars_cool.jpg)
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Queenie - 07-25-2008
13. People who think they are cool by starting douche-bag threads!!
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - uhohspagettio - 07-25-2008
14. Fanny packs of any style, color, or shape. The only 2 things that should be buckled around your waist are a belt or a tool belt. Buy a pair of pants with pockets you minger a-holes.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - egowx - 07-26-2008
15. Crocs! Especially anyone not a child who can choose NOT to wear them.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Mad Dog - 07-26-2008
16. saggy pants. Nobody wants too see your underwear, and the saggier the douchier
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - mik3 - 07-26-2008
Queenie Wrote:13. People who think they are cool by starting douche-bag threads!!
I like how you participated with the list and later said this is gay, I'll make fun of it. But just so you know I'm not a douche-bag, I am a complete A-hole.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - upperdeckercourt - 07-26-2008
elijah Wrote:I think we are on 12. Popped collars. I know that this is a popular hatred, but there are guys that STILL do this.
GOD, I hate that! Dumbest effing trend ever.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - brytn - 07-26-2008
Mad Dog Wrote:16. saggy pants. Nobody wants too see your underwear, and the saggier the douchier
How have we missed this? THIS is the stupidest trend in...well, forever. This should be much farther up the list. If you have to work (to hold your pants up) while walking you are definitely the biggest douche ever. Period. And Amen.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - plungerhand - 07-28-2008
brytn Wrote:Mad Dog Wrote:16. saggy pants. Nobody wants too see your underwear, and the saggier the douchier
How have we missed this? THIS is the stupidest trend in...well, forever. This should be much farther up the list. If you have to work (to hold your pants up) while walking you are definitely the biggest douche ever. Period. And Amen.
They actually passed a law against somewhere USA. I'll try to find it. I think they looped it in with indecent exposure laws.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Queenie - 07-28-2008
mik3 Wrote:Queenie Wrote:13. People who think they are cool by starting douche-bag threads!!
I like how you participated with the list and later said this is gay, I'll make fun of it. But just so you know I'm not a douche-bag, I am a complete A-hole.
Are you calling your thread douche-baggish . . . I don't get it. I thought it was a pretty good thread, but if you insist.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - mr10homodance - 07-28-2008
jus' P Wrote:brytn Wrote:How have we missed this? THIS is the stupidest trend in...well, forever. This should be much farther up the list. If you have to work (to hold your pants up) while walking you are definitely the biggest douche ever. Period. And Amen.
They actually passed a law against somewhere USA. I'll try to find it. I think they looped it in with indecent exposure laws.
it is illegal in flint michigan (aka, the armpit of America)
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Biff - 07-28-2008
Fistor Wrote:8. You use chopsticks at a Chinese Buffet.
Guilty. My wife is Chinese and we eat a lot of meals with chopsticks so I think I get an exemption.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - mr10homodance - 07-28-2008
#17. people who think internet forums are real life. they are douche bags.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Biff - 07-28-2008
Mad Dog Wrote:16. saggy pants. Nobody wants too see your underwear, and the saggier the douchierI had to drive through the hood recently and I saw a guy with no shirt, boxers, and his pants waist below his butt cheeks walking around. He was right at a busy intersection. I couldn't believe how moronic it was.
I do like the fact that these idiots haven't figured out that those saggy pants keep them from effectively outrunning the cops.
18. Tilted ball cap guy. Especially white tilted ball cap guy. Even "sunglasses in the mall" guy thinks you're a tool.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - brytn - 07-28-2008
19. How about flat billed baseball cap? Not nearly as douchey as tilted ball cap but, still not a good look.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Allyson - 07-28-2008
20. I'm not sure if this is as douchey as it is stupid, but how about the a-hole who misses his exit then backs up on the highway rather than taking the next exit?
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - brytn - 07-28-2008
Allyson Wrote:20. I'm not sure if this is as douchey as it is stupid, but how about the a-hole who misses his exit then backs up on the highway rather than taking the next exit?
Or cut through the median part that is disigned for state vehicles. Real safe to pull out into traffic coming at least 70 mph in your direction from a dead stop.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Howie Feltersnatch - 07-28-2008
Admin Wrote:Fistor Wrote:8. You use chopsticks at a Chinese Buffet.
Guilty. My wife is Chinese and we eat a lot of meals with chopsticks so I think I get an exemption.
no exceptions.....
doosh
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Queenie - 07-28-2008
brytn Wrote:Allyson Wrote:20. I'm not sure if this is as douchey as it is stupid, but how about the a-hole who misses his exit then backs up on the highway rather than taking the next exit?
Or cut through the median part that is disigned for state vehicles. Real safe to pull out into traffic coming at least 70 mph in your direction from a dead stop.
and i'll add especially on the interstates in and around Nashville!!
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Mark the Valet - 07-29-2008
What wrong with eating with chopsticks at a chinese buffet?
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - peachs - 07-29-2008
I like my big sunglasses, they look awesome... and they hide my ugly face.... so eff off
![[Image: Sunshine%20%282%29.jpg]](http://upload.vandervander.com//files/6/Sunshine%20%282%29.jpg)
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Biff - 07-29-2008
Mark the Valet Wrote:What wrong with eating with chopsticks at a chinese buffet?
I think the issue is that it's a buffet and therefore not a "real" Chinese restaurant. A Chinese buffet usually features Chinese style food that caters towards Americans (ie lots of fried foods).
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - peachs - 07-29-2008
Admin Wrote:Mark the Valet Wrote:What wrong with eating with chopsticks at a chinese buffet?
I think the issue is that it's a buffet and therefore not a "real" Chinese restaurant. A Chinese buffet usually features Chinese style food that caters towards Americans (ie lots of fried foods).
although, I have been to a chinese buffet and ordered off the actual chinese menu that they have for their "folk" I ate that with chopsticks
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - fistor!@# - 07-29-2008
Peachs Wrote:Admin Wrote:I think the issue is that it's a buffet and therefore not a "real" Chinese restaurant. A Chinese buffet usually features Chinese style food that caters towards Americans (ie lots of fried foods).
although, I have been to a chinese buffet and ordered off the actual chinese menu that they have for their "folk" I ate that with chopsticks
I should've added the caveat: if you're Chinese, the rule does not apply.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - yewt - 07-29-2008
Fistor Wrote:lolPeachs Wrote:although, I have been to a chinese buffet and ordered off the actual chinese menu that they have for their "folk" I ate that with chopsticks
I should've added the caveat: if you're Chinese, the rule does not apply.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Mad Dog - 07-30-2008
21. television douch bags who wrestle 20ft crocs, swim with sharks, and walk around Africa with a cane too see if they can piss off man eating lions.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - jb - 08-06-2008
I wasn't a fan of vanity plates until my friend got his. It's a University of Michigan plate that reads FTOSU Best vanity plate I have ever seen. If you can't figure it out than you won't think it's funny.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - Mad Dog - 08-23-2008
Oh yuck, I just saw an 65 year old dude in a speedo sunning himself on the lawn at my apartment complex. **barf**
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - patfromportland - 08-24-2008
Vanity plates are definetly a problem. Especially if they say anything along the lines of "blewbyu" or "2fst4u".
22. People who have those stickers with half of a sports ball on their car so it looks like a ball went through their window.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - lokizilla - 08-27-2008
Admin Wrote:Fistor Wrote:8. You use chopsticks at a Chinese Buffet.
Guilty. My wife is Chinese and we eat a lot of meals with chopsticks so I think I get an exemption.
How about amend it to using chopsticks when you don't know how to?
I taught my husband to use them, and I prefer using them. A person really has to have some skill to use them.
sunglass straps, vanity plates, and douche bags - lokizilla - 08-27-2008
23) People who don't read the terms and conditions of anything they buy and then demand to speak to a manager when they don't get their way.