Friday Top Five: Embarassing Moments

[0rz0ski]

Ready...GO!

[0rz0ski]

Most of mine take place during grade school, because I stopped caring about how people viewed me after that.

1) Told a joke about Monica lewinsky in the middle of my 6th grade class. At a Catholic School.
2) In 7th grade, a teacher was assigning candy types to all of us. One particular boy was assigned "Jolly Rancher Pop," and I excitedly said "I would lick you if that were true!"
3) In 4th grade I got called gay by some deuchebag, so I screamed that "If I'm gay, then you're gay too!" I had no idea that homosexuality existed, and the principal had to explain it to me.
4) Also in 4th grade, I got caught forging my mother's signature that I had forgotten to do my homework.
5) I peed my pants at a 3rd grade communion party because I was having too much fun playing with the slot machine.

[Biff]

Free Beer's shit in the pants story has me crying from laughing

[Biff]

Free Beer's shit in the pants story has me crying from laughing

And the other shitting the pants story is one of the funniest things I have ever heard.

"No wonder you spilled the diet coke; it smells like feces". :clap: :lol:

[Allyson]

I don't embarrass easily but I'll share the story I shared in chat.

I was a gymnast in high school and during a floor routine once I audibly farted going into a back handspring. My whole team and the other team all heard it and started cracking up. During a routine, you're not allowed to flinch so in the 1:30 that I was jumping around I was also devising a way to play it off. I decided to go with the "pretend it didn't happen" method. Yea that worked well.

[krystal]

I don't embarrass easily but I'll share the story I shared in chat.

I was a gymnast in high school and during a floor routine once I audibly farted going into a back handspring. My whole team and the other team all heard it and started cracking up. During a routine, you're not allowed to flinch so in the 1:30 that I was jumping around I was also devising a way to play it off. I decided to go with the "pretend it didn't happen" method. Yea that worked well.

Could you do this:

[Wiener Poopie]

I don't embarrass easily but I'll share the story I shared in chat.

I was a gymnast in high school and during a floor routine once I audibly farted going into a back handspring. My whole team and the other team all heard it and started cracking up. During a routine, you're not allowed to flinch so in the 1:30 that I was jumping around I was also devising a way to play it off. I decided to go with the "pretend it didn't happen" method. Yea that worked well.

Could you do this:

[drop]Wow! Hot![/drop]

[Allyson]

Haha not quite 180 any more, maybe more like 150? degrees.

[potthole]

1. In highschool my church group went over to sing Christmas songs at the pastor's house. We were all sitting around the living room, hymnals in hand, and I was trying super hard to hold in a fart.

At a perfectly quiet moment I lost that battle, and this long, drawn out rumble was heard by everybody. After the laughing and pointing subsided the pastor asked what song we'd like to sing next. My friend, sitting next to me, had been frantically flipping through the hymnal looking for a song. His hand shot into the air, "Make a Joyful Noise to the Lord!"

2. Last summer at work I wasn't feeling well. I happened to stink up a bathroom pretty badly. Shortly afterwards I heard a commotion near the bathroom. A couple of the nurses I work with were gagging and yelling about the smell. They thought it was a patient that was responsible, and although I tried to play it off that it was, I'm sure my red face was a giveaway that it was indeed me.

3. Freshman year of high school. My first ever high school baseball game. I was on first and got the sign to steal second. Halfway to second base I tripped and fell flat on my face. I immediately started to get up, but the second baseman was already standing in front of me, ball in hand. Laughing, he reached down to place the tag. "Uh, I think you're out," was what he managed to say between chuckles.

I'll have to add the other two after I take some time to think of them.

[plumpenut]

Haha not quite 180 any more, maybe more like 150? degrees.

Pretty sure that will work too. :thumbup:

[Mad Dog]

Some of my most embarrassing moments I've posted about already, Some I havn't. I'll work on bringing them all together in a neat, wordy little bundle.

[Opus]

1.) Back in middle school, we were in phys ed and the "coach" had us doing situps. We would alternate between holding someones feet while they did their situps and then switch. While the guy was holding my feet, I accidentally let one rip, right in his face.

Can't really remember many other embarassing moments. Maybe I blocked them out, or they just didn't happen.

[Howie Feltersnatch]

1) Got a knee injury playing soccer in highschool. Long story short had to get it x-rayed and while the girly in the x-ray room was bending and manipulating my leg to get different 'shots' of my knee I noticed her at one point get really red in the face, look me in the eye and say "Sorry....." apparently she got a shot of the Feltersnatch curse/blessing. It was awkward for me as My mom was also right there and may have gotten a good glimps.

2) Our highschool gym had a balcony with a weight room. Well while we (the guys) were doing our warm up cals the girls were upstairs doing girly stuff like stretchy and grooming. A few girls were watching us do our cals and also got a great shot of the Feltersnatch curse/blessing as I did sit ups.

(then i switched away from boxers)

3) I've sharted, in tuxes, at 2 proms. Nuff said, I didn't get any.

4th and Final) Have you met my brother? HIYOOOOOOOO!

[Wiener Poopie]

4th and Final) Have you met my brother? HIYOOOOOOOO!

[Allyson]

I thought of another! My high school boyfriend was going to work on me and his mother (with whom I was close) didn't knock and my pants were off.

[beckyp]

back in high school i bought my first pair of low rise jeans and they fit ok but when i sat down they kind of went too low....so i learned that i have to sit a certain way to avoid that and get used to a little breeze on the lower back. no biggie.

so i had this huge crush on this guy, aaron, but was really scared of talking to him or anything even though we had spanish class together and i saw him everyday. well one day we changed seats and i got placed in front of him, that same day i just coincidentally wore those low rise jeans. me, being nervous at the fact i was right in front of him, forgot to sit that certain way to prevent butt-cut.

nobody said a word until after class(54 mins) when random guy said "nice plumber crack!".

no joke, i cried that night. lots. ripped up the pants too. which made me cry more 'cause i realised i just ripped up about $30.

[Mark the Valet]

When I posted a song of myself rapping on some internet message board.

[Mad Dog]

Here are my Top five in reverse order:

5) When I was in the fourth grade as I sat in class one day, the urge to go poo started to overtake me so I raised my hand to get the teachers attention, which I did, and asked her to give me a hall pass so I could go to the bathroom. She got mad and refused to let me go. The urge to go didn't go away and soon overwhelmed me and soon I lost all control. I pooped my pants in class. It stunk sooooo bad, soon the whole class was looking my way. Then they called my mom to come get me and I got the rest of the day off of school.

4) I remember coming home from kindergarten one day as I usually did at noon and my mom having opened up a can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew and was heating it up on the stove. She sat me down at the table so I could eat it. I had never seen this concoction before and I wasn't about to eat it. It smelled gross, it was brown, and full of weird chunks. She wouldnt let me up until I ate it. So at around two o'clock in the afternoon after I had heard about all the starving children in Africa and how every other little kid loved Dinty Moore, I was still sitting there, staring at my ice cold stew. Then she said "If you don't eat it you are going to wear it." I still refused. I wore it. Over my head it went and she ushered me to my room. I remember distinctly the deep shame I felt as I crawled into my closet and covered my head with my blanket in shame and in stew. I somehow fell asleep and woke up just in time to hear my dads car pull in the yard. I panicked inside and I thought he was going to beat me. When he opened the door to look at me he started to laugh and I was never more relived. To this day I won't touch Dinty More Beef Stew, but at least I'm not a pick eater.


3) When I was in the fifth grade I had an extreme crush on an Iranian girl named Shada and one night I had a dream about her. In my dream she was naked and that is pretty much all I remember about the dream but that was enough. I went to school the next day and while we were on recess I told my very best friend in the world Wally about my dream but I made him swear never to tell anyone. Which he swore never to do. By the time recess was over however, I started getting random girls coming up and asking me about my "Sex Dream" and I was horrified.

2) In 1976 I was a backwoods teen on a wanna be farm in central Michigan and I had never heard of K.Y. before, hell actually I don't even know if it existed yet. I scoured the house too find something slippery too bang my monkey with ( it was just getting too sore dry) I went too the refrigerator one day and then had an epiffiny. Butter!!! It was cool and slippery and worked great! I used it for a couple of months, beating off to pics I stole from my dads porno stash. The only problem was that it had the odor of well.... butter and all my towels were crunchy and buttery. Unfortunately my mom did the laundry and when she got wise she confronted me towel in hand. I had went from teenager too devil in ten seconds. The next day the only cute neighbor lady we had in our neck of the woods came too visit and while I'm in the kitchen with her and my mom, almost immediately my mom said "Guess what my sons been doing" Ouch


And my number one of all time is:

I was a 19 year old virgin that was desperate to "do the deed" I had had a couple of close calls like being naked in bed with my first girlfriend, but alas, we had no condoms so it was a no go. The next girlfriend I had was an Alma College Psychology major. I was sort of her little psychology experiment while she tried to get back with her Ex-boyfriend she was actually in love with. She had two rules for me: No intercourse and no orgasms allowed. She gave me mouth partys, tickled my tummy, ran her fingers through my hair and was an expert with her fingernails. But if I got close finishing, she sent me away. It sucked, literally and figuratively and I only dated her for three months. But still, technically I was still a virgin, and I was desperate to get that monkey off my back.

I started getting drunk and high with my friends after that and started meeting party girls. One girl in particular named Stacy, was a classic "butter face" Body of a model and the face of a Neandertal vampire. Over time she had made the sex rounds with most of my new friends and it was well known that you could get sex from her, if you could get past the face.

We were having one of our nightly beer partys with about twenty or so people at the "Party Pit". It was a crappy old apartment that shared a parking lot with a bar called "the Brewery" that used to host copy cat Hair bands. Stacy happened to be at this party. At about nine o'clock at night somebody suggested that they should drive to Lansing to see the Rocky Horror Picture show and everybody thought that was a good idea. I didn't want to go see it because I was broke so everybody left. Everybody but Stacy.

I was actually living there at "The Party Pit" but I had to sleep in the living room. So after everybody left I broke out my bed roll, turned out the lights, and tried to go to sleep, and Stacy did the same thing on the opposite side of the room. But after ten minutes or so laying there musing about still being a virgin and knowing there was a loose, but fugly girl in the same room with me with the lights off, I got up, walked to where she was lying down and with out a word started feeling her up. At first she resisted a little, but in a few minutes she warmed up to me, and took off the rest of her clothes and I did it!!! I put it in her!!

We were doing it for five minutes or so and I was just about to explode, when I heard the unmistakable thunk thunk thunk of a heard of people walking up the back steps up to the "Party "Pit". I said "Awwwwww Shit" I pulled out, grabbed up Stacy, and sprinted to the bathroom totally naked just as people started piling through the door. She looked at me and was like "Are we gonna finish?" I said "yup" and we did. By that time people were pounding on the bathroom door wanting to know what was going on. I just yelled through the door for someone to hand us our clothes. As soon as we were dressed and walked out the door of the bathroom, one of my friends goes "Can I smell your finger?" It kills me to this day.

[Wiener Poopie]

I think in about ten more years I will look back and think “That was one long embarrassing moment”

[krystal]

I think in about ten more years I will look back and think “That was one long embarrassing moment”

I agree. I also think that you will think that.

[Mad Dog]

I think in about ten more years I will look back and think “That was one long embarrassing moment”

I agree. I also think that you will think that.

I've got more.

[Mad Dog]

On the last day of the school year of my eight grade year, I walked out of the front of the middle school and noticed a bunch of kids hanging out on the lawn, so I started to walk their way to see if I could find some of my friends. Someone yelled "Super Wedgie!!!!!!" and about thirty kids started chasing me down, surrounded me, pulled me to the ground and and started pulling on my underware. I could tell that the waist band was pulled almost up to my head then rippppppppp. That sucked.

[Biff]

I'd just like to say that MadDog has some of the best stories ever.

[Allyson]

rippppppppp

Was that your underwear or your butthole?

[Mad Dog]

rippppppppp

Was that your underwear or your butthole?

Definatly the underware. They were brand new tighty whitey's too.

[Mad Dog]

I spent exactly one semester in a small college because I couldn't get financing. But while I was there, for some unknown reason it was declared "Spirit Week" yet they had no football team. They had various dress up days and contests going on, which I tried my best to stay out of. However one day while sitting around the student commissary playing euchre, I hear "Come on guys!!" They are having a Mr. Legs contest..... You guys have to be in it!!!" I'm thinking ' no I don't ' But I didn't say anything and I followed along.

As I entered the gymnasium, I noticed that the stands were packed with students, probably sixty percent women. They also had a screen erected that covered the Mr.Legs contestants from the waist up but left the legs exposed for judgment. The rules were who ever got the most applause won the contest. Since I really didn't want to be there in the first place, I was last in line.

There were about twelve guys in this line and the first guy started his walk and the crowd began to get loud. With each guy that began his walk, the crescendo of the crowd began to rise or fall depending on the popularity of the legs that the crowd saw walking. The guy right in front of me got a particularly loud ovation. Then it was my turn. The place went silent. You literally could have heard crickets except for two girls that politely clapped and one girl that clapped enthusiasticly. Ouch. I actually went out on a date with that girl later but the whole experience still stings a little.

[Torque]

These are the only moments I can remember in which I was actually embarrassed:

***I was at a carnival one summer when I was 8 and my brother and I decided to go on one of those giant plastic wavey 4-row slides. We got to the top, we put our burlap sacks down, sat down, and pushed off. My brother and the other 2 people took off down the slide. My burlap sack got caught at the top and my shorts-encased bare legs squeaked at about 1mph down the stupid slide with everyone staring at me from the frightful sound.

***I was getting a horse ready for a show when I was 17, doing the whole bath/clipping/sprucing up thing and I had to clean his sheath (boy parts). I was busy and didn't notice that a bunch of clients and their families (including 3 guys about my age) had come in and were crowding around watching me. Then one of the stupid perverts announced "Wow, one day she'll make some guy VERRRY happy!" As if that wasn't bad enough, he then said to the 3 younger guys, "then again, if she's used to working with 'em that big, she's going to be mighty disappointed". I smiled sweetly and said pointedly to him, "sadly not all men appreciate personal hygiene" but I was red as hell in the face from everyone staring at me.