No punchlines allowed

[fistor!@#]

Let's try to go in the same order as the punchlines only thread.



Wrecked him?

[Howie Feltersnatch]

2 guys walk into a bar

[fistor!@#]

A string walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out, yelling "Can't you read the sign?! I don't serve strings."

The string tries again, and again the bartender kicks him out.

Finally, the string gets the idea to mess himself up a little. He walks into the bar.

The bartender scowls, "What's wrong with you? Can't you read? I don't serve strings!" The string replies, "I'm

[fistor!@#]

What do you call a guy who will fellate a donkey for a bowl of soup?

[fistor!@#]

There once was a man from Nantucket.

[landmammaldolphin]

A Russian, A Chinese guy and a Polish guy are captured by cannibals. They are told that their meat will be eaten, their bones will be made into tools and their skin will be used for their boats. They are given the choice of how to die as a courtesy. The Russian asks for a gun and shoots himself in the head. The Chinese guy sees how quickly that worked so does the same thing. The Polish guy asks for a fork which he is given and starts stabbing his boddy wildly and exclaims....

[plungerhand]

A journeyman magician was working a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician was honing his act, performing the same tricks week after week. The act was only so-so, but the drunk and over-stuffed passengers seemed to like him enough.

There was a problem developing though. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick, and after a few months he began to heckle the magician, shouting out the secrets in the middle of the show.

"Look, it's not the same hat!" he would say. Or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.

Then one dark and stormy night, the ship sank, drowning nearly all who were on board.

Praise be to Merlin, the magician found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it and as you've probably already guessed .. yes, the parrot.

They stared at each other. The parrot with disdain for the hack, the magician with hatred burning in his eyes for the parrot. For days they did not utter a word.

Finally on the 4th day, the parrot couldn't hold back any longer and blurted out....

[Biff]

A young Native American, curious asked his father why his siblings were named "Running Bear" and "Rising Son".

His father replied that he named them after the first thing he saw as he exited the teepee and added......

[fistor!@#]

Let's try to go in the same order as the punchlines only thread.

:-[

[plungerhand]

Let's try to go in the same order as the punchlines only thread.

:-[

You really thought that would work?

[sunshyne]

Hmm, we could just make this a good joke thread, then I wouldn't be like "What the Eff did the parrot say!?"

[Queenie]

A woman went to the doctor to see what she could do to help nurse her ailing husband back to better health. The doctor replied "feed him 3 square meals a day, and give him sex every night". When she got home, he asked what the doctor said, and she replied . . .

[Queenie]

Hmm, we could just make this a good joke thread, then I wouldn't be like "What the Eff did the parrot say!?"

go back and look at the punchlines only thread and see if you can figure it out there.

[sunshyne]

ha ha I got yours!

[sunshyne]

A Baby Seal walked into a club. Ba dum bum.

[landmammaldolphin]

A lady golfer and a golf pro were talking in the clubhouse. The lady golfer then goes out to play a round and comes in shortly there after in a panic. "I was stung by a bee" she said. The golf pro replies "You got stung by a bee?" She said, "yes I got stung between the first and second hole." The golf pro thought for a minute and replied,....