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I'm going to be saving this one for the next time my mom sends me one...maybe this will do the trick!
Quote:If you send this message off to 20 people within the next 4 days, and each of them send it off to 20 other people within 4 days...
In 40 days, approximately 10 trillion of these messages will cross the Internet.
From day 40 to day 44, an additional 200 trillion of these messages will cross the Internet, at an average of 50 trillion messages per day.
From day 44 to 48, an additional 4,000 trillion of these messages will cross the Internet, at an average of 1,000 trillion messages a day, 41.7 trillion messages per hour, 694 billion messages per minute, or 11.6 billion messages per second.
Of course, the Internet will have ground to a complete halt way before then, and a good thing too, because by day 44 (assuming each man, woman and child in the world is tied to the Internet) you would have to respond to about 2 chain email letters per second, sending off 20 responses each second, giving you 5/100 of a second to send each message. If you drop the ball, you will break about 1,800,000 chain letters per day, bringing almost two million times the bad luck upon yourself than if you broke the first chain letter to begin with.
The logical conclusion? It is better to break the initial chain letter and receive one dose of bad luck than to continue the chain letter, and by day 44, receive 1,800,000 doses of bad luck.
I knew one poor fellow who ended up in such a circumstance. He ended up having 287,345 heart attacks, losing 5,137 wives, got fired from at least 100,000 jobs, and was run over by a truck. His Visa card was also revoked. Nobody liked him anymore. He finally ended up committing suicide 459 times, but he was so unlucky, he was never successful. Finally, he resigned to the idea of not dying, and was immediately hit by a meteorite and vaporized. But his cells went on to experience even more bad luck...
http://www.laughbreak.com/stories/why_yo...spond.html
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I hate chain emails.
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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LMAO!! I don't post that often, but I hear ya!
Of course I will.
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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I've got some people I'd like to send that to. I cringe when I see I've got one of those "god love you so much, if you send this on..." or 'send this to the special friends in your life and see who sends it back'....most of them full of bad graphics and sparkling fonts *gak*
I might not have much of a life, but I know I don't have time for that bs! And these are people I love too!
Once years ago I made the mistake of asking one of my good friends to cease and desist - boy were there hurt feelings. *sighs*
The White Zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload, go to the White Zone. You'll love it. It's a way of life.
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That reminds of this thing I heard an evangelist say in college, something about how if every christian in the world were to evangelize just on person a year for the next 20 years, and each of them did the same, the whole world would belong to Jesus by 2030 or somthing like that.
Wowie Groovie !
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i think chain emails are slowly giving way to myspace bulletins and facebook notes.
"tag! now you have to fill out this survey too!"
no, i dont.
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I LOLed.
Quote:This is an actual letter from an Austin, Texas woman sent to American company--- Proctor and Gamble--- regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Best, Wendi Aarons Austin , TX
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.
I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
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I love that email. It's still in my work mailbox.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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that is great, i remember the first time I read that "have a happy period" and thought, "is this some sort of sick joke?" It made me want to punch someone for thinking that up. Next thing you know they'll be handing them out with your bill at the chinese buffet with some sort of fortune in them.
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