08-03-2008, 11:28 PM
Feltersnatch "Dude" Shadoway was born on January 17, 1921 in Ten Sleep, Wyoming, the son of Reginald Shadoway, a bisexual tap dancer who later became one of the first Armenian flight attendants for Pan Am. Shadoway's mother is unknown, but rumors suggest that she was most likely a transient hooker who traveled with a band of gypsies during the early 1900's throughout the country. At the age of 13, Dude lost his virginity to a 47 year old chain smoking schoolteacher by the name of Whorslut Zeiger and subsequently gave birth out of wedlock to Lawrence Harvey Zeiger, more popularly known today as Larry King. The two were briefly married and together spawned 16 more children over the course of several years before they separated after Whorslut allegedly walked in on Dude doing what she referred to as "throwing rope all over the family's Russell Terrier and Larry King himself."
At the age of 23, Dude got his first radio job as a sponsor announcer for the show Amos 'n' Andy, where he coined the phrase "plumpynut" and was subsequently fired after pleasuring himself to the rear end of one of his costars on the air and screaming the term as he ejaculated. Over the next three decades, Dude bounced from job to job across the country, taking work as everything from a janitor at a private peep show booth to a semi-professional bisexual porn star among the likes of John Holmes. It was rumored here that his shlong was so huge, he would faint from lack of blood in his brain if he became fully erect. Dude eventually found work in radio again at the age of 81 at Power Stereo FM, located in Linden, New Jersey. He almost immediately became universally hated amongst the staff, as he regularly pulled out his 15 inch frail, bony penis and operated the sound board with it, clogging the machinery with hundreds of pounds of pubic hair. Over the past twenty-five years, he has interviewed such f-list celebrities as Sylvester Stall One's brother, the fat kid from The Goonies, and the guy who played the leprechaun in the Leprechaun films. His frequent mini strokes and his adamant refusal to seek medical treatment causes him to frequently jumble his guest's names and projects they might be plugging, eroding at what little professional career he has remaining.
At the age of 23, Dude got his first radio job as a sponsor announcer for the show Amos 'n' Andy, where he coined the phrase "plumpynut" and was subsequently fired after pleasuring himself to the rear end of one of his costars on the air and screaming the term as he ejaculated. Over the next three decades, Dude bounced from job to job across the country, taking work as everything from a janitor at a private peep show booth to a semi-professional bisexual porn star among the likes of John Holmes. It was rumored here that his shlong was so huge, he would faint from lack of blood in his brain if he became fully erect. Dude eventually found work in radio again at the age of 81 at Power Stereo FM, located in Linden, New Jersey. He almost immediately became universally hated amongst the staff, as he regularly pulled out his 15 inch frail, bony penis and operated the sound board with it, clogging the machinery with hundreds of pounds of pubic hair. Over the past twenty-five years, he has interviewed such f-list celebrities as Sylvester Stall One's brother, the fat kid from The Goonies, and the guy who played the leprechaun in the Leprechaun films. His frequent mini strokes and his adamant refusal to seek medical treatment causes him to frequently jumble his guest's names and projects they might be plugging, eroding at what little professional career he has remaining.
