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What are you going to do once the undead rise?
#1
Okay so the undead start to rise and come knocking on your door looking for brains and retribution.

What's your plan ?


Side note, These are science zombies not magic zombies.

IE they are rising from the grave because of an accident of science, maybe some kind of chemical spill, or a virulent strain of some kind of disease broke out.

Magic zombies happen because a witch, wizard or other magically gifted person casts a spell (usually with evil intentions) and the dead rise. We're not talking about magic zombies in this scenario.

I think I'd head to the shot gun store and stock up. Maybe buy a few cases of MREs and wait it out in my basement.
Wowie Groovie !
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#2
Titan ! Wrote:Okay so the undead start to rise and come knocking on your door looking for brains and retribution.

What's your plan ?


Side note, These are science zombies not magic zombies.

IE they are rising from the grave because of an accident of science, maybe some kind of chemical spill, or a virulent strain of some kind of disease broke out.

Magic zombies happen because a witch, wizard or other magically gifted person casts a spell (usually with evil intentions) and the dead rise. We're not talking about magic zombies in this scenario.

I think I'd head to the shot gun store and stock up. Maybe buy a few cases of MREs and wait it out in my basement.


What have you been watching this morning?
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#3
make them a bacon explosion... noone can eat anything after having that
life savers candy only really work if you have diabetes
imatoolhed46n2//imatoolhed dudeguy
TOYKO!! R.I.P. the alien gus
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#4
My best friend lives on the third floor of a apartment complex, I'd go there and we'd build a bigass awesome stronghold.
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#5
Well I've learned living in these times that the only thing you should do is have tolerance for the "Living Challenged" (the term Zombie could be considered offensive). It's not their fault that they have the condition that they do so they will probably get some kind of tax free government assistance so that they do not have to struggle. Employers will be forced ,when interviewing, to have to hire at least one Living Challenged to their staff. All young LC's will get free rides into the college of their choosing paid on our dime. When it comes time to feed them the government will hand over all the fat people for them to eat because it is really unfair that they have all the fat and should be sharing the wealth anyway.
Well, I guess that we all learned a lesson today. That it's what's inside a person that counts. And that on the inside, midgets are thieving little bastards.
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#6
The only flaw in your logic is that the Undead are bloodthirsty mindless monsters. They wouldn't need gov't assistance, they would BE the gov't.
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#7
I'd write me a blues song about the whole ordeal...

Woke up this mornin had to put my baby down
said I woooke up this mornin had to put my baby down
cut dat bitches head off
and barred her in the ground


Cause I got the bluuueess so bad
Got them undead brain eatin zombie blues


Gonna buy me a shot gun ( buh dub buh don)
Gonna load up some shells
gonna shoot 'dem undead bitches
gonna blow em back to helllll
Wowie Groovie !
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#8
Titan ! Wrote:I'd write me a blues song about the whole ordeal...

Woke up this mornin had to put my baby down
said I woooke up this mornin had to put my baby down
cut dat bitches head off
and barred her in the ground


Cause I got the bluuueess so bad
Got them undead brain eatin zombie blues


Gonna buy me a shot gun ( buh dub buh don)
Gonna load up some shells
gonna shoot 'dem undead bitches
gonna blow em back to helllll


You have a rare gift!
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#9
Zombies are pretty much my favorite messed people population of all time so this is an awesome topic!!!

Now, it all depends on what type of zombie we are dealing. Normally, you're classic undead which consists of the dead rising due to some wierd moon episode are often slow and dumb. Whereas, your human created 'undead' via the use of virus experimentation or trying to cure cancer are often super human; meaning they are fast, strong and usually extremely intelligent.

If you're dealing with the first of the two zombie classes, then you really don't need to do much. Lock yourself in somewhere with limited windows, enjoy some beers and good laughs with your friends... it will pass in a few days.

If you're dealing with second group then you have a variety of choices. One, become one of them; I wouldn't trust them to bite you and leave it at that, try to find a way to expose yourself and still keep the majority of your organs. Orrrrrrr...you could be a survivor. In which case you won't to align yourself with somebody that has a lot of guns (and ammo), food and transportation. Keep in mind that zombies always have some weakness so really study your predators (for example, sunlight) and there's a chance that they have a leader and without said leader and pretty much useless. Granted, you also need to remember that supplies will eventually run out so it would be in your best interests to arrange a safe house of some kind that would have gasoline, food and yes, clothes. Better yet, if you can find a solar powered vehicle, that a bonus (run on gas in the evenings and use that beautiful sun in the day).

Personally, I see myself as a survivor but when you live in Maine, there's a chance those human generated zombies won't make it above Mass. Smile
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#10
murph383 Wrote:Zombies are pretty much my favorite messed people population of all time so this is an awesome topic!!!

Now, it all depends on what type of zombie we are dealing. Normally, you're classic undead which consists of the dead rising due to some wierd moon episode are often slow and dumb. Whereas, your human created 'undead' via the use of virus experimentation or trying to cure cancer are often super human; meaning they are fast, strong and usually extremely intelligent.

If you're dealing with the first of the two zombie classes, then you really don't need to do much. Lock yourself in somewhere with limited windows, enjoy some beers and good laughs with your friends... it will pass in a few days.

If you're dealing with second group then you have a variety of choices. One, become one of them; I wouldn't trust them to bite you and leave it at that, try to find a way to expose yourself and still keep the majority of your organs. Orrrrrrr...you could be a survivor. In which case you won't to align yourself with somebody that has a lot of guns (and ammo), food and transportation. Keep in mind that zombies always have some weakness so really study your predators (for example, sunlight) and there's a chance that they have a leader and without said leader and pretty much useless. Granted, you also need to remember that supplies will eventually run out so it would be in your best interests to arrange a safe house of some kind that would have gasoline, food and yes, clothes. Better yet, if you can find a solar powered vehicle, that a bonus (run on gas in the evenings and use that beautiful sun in the day).

Personally, I see myself as a survivor but when you live in Maine, there's a chance those human generated zombies won't make it above Mass. Smile

You haven't really put much thought behind this have you.
Well, I guess that we all learned a lesson today. That it's what's inside a person that counts. And that on the inside, midgets are thieving little bastards.
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#11
[Image: zombie-food-pyramid.jpg]




[Image: 159250-1.png]
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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#12
^^Howie, with the amount of random stuff you are able to find, I really wonder if you work.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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#13
i'm really good with google searches
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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#14
The question is not "what are you going to do?" The question is "What have you already done?"

[Image: preparedness.jpg]


[Image: precaution-zombies-12gauge-demotivational-poster.jpg]

Any questions?
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.

I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
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#15
Well, if they aren't brain eatin' zombie bastards, I'll find one who looks like me and make it go to work for me.
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#16
I've actually had long discussions about this topic with my good friend. Guns would be nice, but would definitely not be my main choice of weapon. You don't want to have to reload or get jammed right when one breaks through. Having a pistol or shotgun with you would be helpful, but my main weapon would have to be some sort of hand weapon. Maybe a sword (small so you can swing it fast), crowbar (useful for more than just head smashing), meat cleaver, something like that. You need to be able to swing quick and often, and be able to take them down with one swing. Having it be multi purpose like the crowbar is a nice bonus, in case you need to break something down for escape. I'm definitely ready for the attack.
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#17
The problem with handheld weapons is the close proximity you get to the zombies, which is a bad thing if the zombies are virus driven. You risk infection yourself, and generally beating a zombie to re-death would take valuable time, and you risk getting surrounded by other zombies. Shotguns are the best, but of course you need utility tools like crowbars.

If you have a friend with a boat, use that, since zombies can't swim. A plane will work well for a short time, but fuel is a problem. A high building is also okay in the short run, because zombies can't climb, but their sheer numbers would allow them to climb all over their undead counterparts and create a zombie pyramid to get to the top.
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.

I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
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#18
I think between all of us, we're ready for any zombie attack.
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#19
The roman Gladius might not be bad, but it's more of a stabbing weapon, though I'm sure with practice one could adapt it to head removal
[Image: Gladius.jpg]

The Machete would be great for chopping limbs and splitting heads open. It's weighted and balanced to be a straight forward chopper, but again with practice could probably be adapted to head removal

[Image: Machete.jpg]

And for something with a little more range, I'd suggest a Halberd, though it woudl require more practice, definetly good for chopping, splitting, head removal, and scrotal detachment.

[Image: european-knights-halberd.jpg]

damn sorry about the huge F'ing image posts
Wowie Groovie !
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#20
I think if zombies attack we should all have a place where all the true FBHW fans can meet to create a colony of people who actually have some sense, I think it should be the jersey shore, living by the ocean can be advantageous and most of us have a way of getting to this part of the north east with no problems. This way we can work together to fight off the zombies that arrive for us. Most zombie problems start further away from the coasts anyway so we will have early warning as long as we keep an eye on current events, the people that will have the most difficult of a time are the ones closer to the center of the country, but you can make it just figure a local meeting spot and make the trek together. We will then rename New Jersey into Awesometown.
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
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#21
You are all crazy...
3/30/2009 1:38 PM Loose Wendy wrote: "I would rather masturbate using a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire than have sex with Joe."
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#22
Philly Mike Wrote:I think if zombies attack we should all have a place where all the true FBHW fans can meet to create a colony of people who actually have some sense, I think it should be the jersey shore, living by the ocean can be advantageous and most of us have a way of getting to this part of the north east with no problems. This way we can work together to fight off the zombies that arrive for us. Most zombie problems start further away from the coasts anyway so we will have early warning as long as we keep an eye on current events, the people that will have the most difficult of a time are the ones closer to the center of the country, but you can make it just figure a local meeting spot and make the trek together. We will then rename New Jersey into Awesometown.

It has to be somewhere central to all of us. We meet together and slash our way of the mainland.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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#23
We should meet here in Michigan and go up north. We have the militia here. The zombies would be toast.
Well, I guess that we all learned a lesson today. That it's what's inside a person that counts. And that on the inside, midgets are thieving little bastards.
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#24
Cold=I'd rather take my chances with the zombies. Eff that.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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#25
Zombies don't handle cold that well, they have on occasion frozen solid only to thaw out later attack again many years later.
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#26
I don't handle cold well. Screw that. Is there any possibility of finding an uninhabited tropical island?
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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#27
Krystal Wrote:I don't handle cold well. Screw that. Is there any possibility of finding an uninhabited tropical island?

I think Krystal is a zombie. ???
Well, I guess that we all learned a lesson today. That it's what's inside a person that counts. And that on the inside, midgets are thieving little bastards.
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#28
Then it has already begun...
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#29
google image search 'zombie bite tattoo' some are pretty cool....i like the one that shows the sprawling yellowing veins...
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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#30
If you want coastal and cold...Maine is the way to go and if it gets too crazy in the states, Canada is right there and nothing ever happens there.
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#31
Jiggy Wrote:
Krystal Wrote:I don't handle cold well. Screw that. Is there any possibility of finding an uninhabited tropical island?

I think Krystal is a zombie. ???

If I am, I'm not aware of it happening... I just really, really hate the effing cold. And the snow.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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#32
murph383 Wrote:If you want coastal and cold...Maine is the way to go and if it gets too crazy in the states, Canada is right there and nothing ever happens there.


the zombies will clearly think 'Eff Canada...it's lame'
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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#33
Canada = Zombie safe haven, lots of land and very few people, and I assume even Zombies wouldn't want to live in a Canada without internet monies, friend.
"What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother."
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#34
A cruise ship would be great, lots of room for food and weapons. You could just park it a few miles off of port so that the zombies wouldn't have enough bodies to get out there. Remember, zombies can't swim, but they could be smart enough to just keep stacking undead up like a bridge to get out there.
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.

I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
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#35
Krystal Wrote:
Jiggy Wrote:I think Krystal is a zombie. ???

If I am, I'm not aware of it happening... I just really, really hate the effing cold. And the snow.

Ha ha! Clever trick Zombie!! You lure us all out of the cold to meet up in a centralized location then, you have yourself a little buffet. Pull the other one.
Well, I guess that we all learned a lesson today. That it's what's inside a person that counts. And that on the inside, midgets are thieving little bastards.
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#36
Jiggy Wrote:
Krystal Wrote:If I am, I'm not aware of it happening... I just really, really hate the effing cold. And the snow.

Ha ha! Clever trick Zombie!! You lure us all out of the cold to meet up in a centralized location then, you have yourself a little buffet. Pull the other one.

she's too sexy to be a zombie.
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
Reply
#37
Oh, well, you guys can go to Canada. I'll hole up here and fight them off.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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#38
If by fight them off you mean help your other zombie friends plan a way to get to us in Canada.
"What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother."
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#39
Screw Canada, I'm holing up in the basement. only one way in, and I got it covered with shot guns and bear traps
Wowie Groovie !
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#40
You obviously haven't played zombies on Call of Duty: World at War yet, those bastards can dig tunnels and take down brick walls...
"What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother."
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