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Top Five: Favorite Childhood Memories
#1
3...2...1...Go!
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.

I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
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#2
I haven't complied a list but I can tell you that number one is the first time I saw a real live woman naked.
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
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#3
5) Building blanket tents that encompassed the entire living room.
4) Getting placed randomly as the pitcher for a softball team because the pitcher for the day was sucking, and the coach had nothing to lose, and doing really really well.
3) Setting things on fire at the neighbor's house.
2) The first time I drove a car on the expressway.
1) Having a water balloon fight in the middle of a campground, trashing the men and women's bathroom, and having to clean it up afterwards.
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.

I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
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#4
0rz0ski Wrote:1) Having a water balloon fight in the middle of a campground, trashing the men and women's bathroom, and having to clean it up afterwards.

I thought we agreed to keep this a secret (even though you have photographic evidence of where I tore the tile off the front of the sinks AND you posted it!!). Also, I'm sorry I bailed and you got stuck cleaning our mess up.

P.S. Thanks for leaving out the naked part of the balloon fight . . .
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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#5
In no particular order.....

Singing "You Are My Sunshine" for a talent show when I was 4.

My first kiss, it was with my best friend (Jeff) when we were 8. We both wanted to know what a kiss was like, so we were like, hey lets kiss and find out.

Summer I spent with my cousin in NJ, went to the lake, rode bikes, went to Ocean City, stayed on a friend of her's yacht.

ANY day I spent with my grandmother (Mem Mem). I miss her so much.

When I was in college (yeah I know not childhood) I had learned how to surf. My sister came to visit me and I was going to teach her how to surf. The Blue Angels were having a show at the park north of where we were surfing. The waves were perfect, me and my sister were getting along, and the Blue Angel show was awesome. Just a really perfect day.
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#6
1) Getting in a snowball fight with kids that were older than us and whitewashing their faces and making them cry.

2) Getting my first dog, Gabriel.

3) Moving to a new city/school in the 4th grade and one of the other kids responded "Devastating Obedient Love" when asked what DOL stood for by the teacher. (Daily Oral Language, btw)

4) In 6th grade, hating the guts of the guy who is now my best friend in life.

5) Going to Florida to visit my Grandparents and go to Disney World!
“I wanna tell Y’all that I ain’t votin for nobody that don’t say freedom enough. Freedom ain’t free, Free Beer. We gotta fight for freedom, Hot wings. Zane you gotta eat freedom fries...Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom..FREEDOM!"
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#7
Winters in Philly, the summer I went to stay with my cousin in New York, staying with my grandparents in New Jersey, all the times we traveled back to Wilmington to go to the Azalea Festival in the Spring, and this one is especially meaningful now...my older sister and I used to lock my little sister in the bedroom and play the Thriller record, you know when Vincent Price is speaking? She would cry and cry and we'd just laugh till mom made us stop. Good times.
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#8
I suffer from memory loss because Howie would beat the hell out of me with hammers…. So I guess Howie throwing a hammer at my head is my favorite (and only) childhood memory.
Wiener Poopie 2.0! Now fatter and less credible!
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#9
Wiener Poopie Wrote:I suffer from memory loss because Howie would beat the hell out of me with hammers…. So I guess Howie throwing a hammer at my head is my favorite (and only) childhood memory.

Did you deserve it?
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."
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#10
Here are my top five childhood memories in reverse order:

5. I loved riding our horses around the woods, especially bare back. I used saddles to, but I got too lazy to put them on the horses. It was love/ hate though because those damn horses have hurt me real bad.

4. I used to love to go out in the woods and build various different tree forts, ground forts for protection against dirt bombs in the many dirt bomb wars I had against my next younger brother and the evil neighbor kid. As I got older, my forts transformed in to hunting blinds. I was very handy with an axe and studied wilderness survival, and put my forts to use camping in them.

3. One day, my youngest brother Kevin said something to piss off my middle brother Troy and I and we started chasing after him hell bent for leather. Kevin ran at a dead sprint to the clothes lines where my mom was hanging up clothes, but we didn't know she was back there because the clothes lines were on the back side of our house. As we rounded the corner Troy yells "I'm gonna get you ...You little fucker" just in time to run flat into my mom. She immediately grabbed his ear and drug him into the bathroom where my dad happened to be taking a bath. After she explained the offence to dad, He looked at Troy and said "You know what this means" and handed him a bar of soap. I'd have probably just licked it or took a little taste, but Troy got this defiant look in his eye and took a HUGE bite. He had bubbles coming out everywhere for an hour and I laughed my ass off.

2. We had this douchy little kid that was a nephew of my aunt who brought out to her house so she could baby sit him and play with us three or four times a year. First he was a city kid and we HATED city kids. Second he was ugly. Third he was a arrogant tard and an easy mark. His Achilles heal however was that he hated worms and was deathly afraid of them. He was very wary of worms and kept a close eye out for them at all times. I would go out of my way to dig them up just to chase him around with them. He was very hard to catch, but finally after much effort and stealth, I was able to sneak up on him and drop a worm down the back of his shirt. I have never seen anyone freak out that bad. He shrieked, flailed his arms, did barrel rolls, anything to shake that worm out from his shirt. That was a hoot!!! I got in big trouble but it was worth every minute of it.

1. On one particularly hot summer day, I was riding my bicycle down our dirt road, with the evil neighbor kid (since at that time we had called a truce). We noticed that a blue Jeep had turned the corner and started down our road. As it approached I noticed a man with a big black bushy beard and no shirt driving, A cute petite brunette with a yellow shirt sitting in the middle. and a very hot blonde with a blaze orange tee shirt sitting on the passenger side. The Jeep pulled up along side of us and almost came to a stop. The blonde woman on the passenger side whiped up her tee shirt over her head and I was face to face with the biggest hottest tits on the face of the earth. I'm sure the look on my face was of dumb struck twelve year old geek with an instant chubby. They all started laughing then sped off. The neighbor kid and I just looked at each other, started peddling as fast as we could to try to catch that jeep, but alas, we couldn't peddle fast enough and soon they were gone. I thought about those boobs for the rest of the summer. We looked in vain for the owner of the jeep and the owner of those boobs for months and months but we never did find them.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
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#11
admin Wrote:I haven't complied a list but I can tell you that number one is the first time I saw a real live woman naked.
hey biff... it's childhood, not last week... Tongue
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
[spoiler]Shit, you took away the black bar. Put it the fuck back now![/spoiler]
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#12
Not in order, just listed.

1. Taking a 3-week vacation touring the country when I was 10 and my brother was 8. After the initial 4 days of driving and staying at KOA's, we saw Carlsbad Caverns, the Gilla Cliff Dwellings, Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Petrified Forest, Grand Tetons, and lots more.

2. When I turned 12 my dad took me out to Montana to hunt antelope. We spent days tracking them and trying to get close. When we finally crawled over a ridge and saw a herd my dad laid down on the cactus-covered ground so I could rest my rifle on his back. He even held his breath for almost a minute.

3. Nothing tops when I finally got my horse. Even more so than first seeing her, first laying my hand on her teddy-bear winter fur-covered neck, and riding her for the first time, my parents, who were on principal anti-horse, bought me a gorgeous leather halter and lead the day my trainer and I went to pick her up. That meant a lot to me.

4. After months of helping my father and uncle restore my first car ('83 turbo Volvo), I took it out solo for the first time. Apparently during the drive an air hose became unattached and the car would stall if I let off the gas. I pulled up at a stop light next to a guy in his mid-40's in a corvette. I wasn't looking at him or anything but I kept revving the engine to keep it from stalling. He looked over at me and thought I was trying to instigate him. He then mocked me and yelled that my car was a peice of S. At that point the light turned green and I proved him wrong. He had to stare at my bumper for the next 5 miles of one-lane road.

5. Attaching my crazy lab/husky mix to our sled and having her pull my brother and I down the hill in our yard at 90mph and then leaping through the fence that exploded the sled and seeing red plastic all over the yard.
Humans are not rational beings, they are rationalizing
Practice safe sex, do it in a Volvo ___________ "Shut up", he explained.
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#13
In no particular order:

Birth of my sibling

Camping in state parks, riding bikes and causing trouble

building a tree house (dropping the hammer on Poopie's head was icing)

playing in grandma's basement, and stealing quarters from my uncles slot machine

my first Chevy pickup truck
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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