What the hell is wrong with Free Beer?

[Philly Mike]

Freebeer is not gay, nor is there anything really wrong with him. He is actually a superhero, fighting crime with his flappidy lips of justice. When he flicks his bottom lip he has the ability to force people to tell the truth, and his top lip will send out a frequency anywhere from being able to give you a headache, to crack the bones in your body, to even make your head explode.
Him and his sidekick enamelonious patroll the city of Grand Rapids every night leaping roof by roof, him using his lips to glide, and enamelonius using his teeth as a hang glider.

there, the secret is out.