08-30-2008, 02:56 PM
Mad Dog Wrote:I have two high school aged kids. One girl who is a senior this year and one boy who is a Junior. I love them more than anything, but since my divorce in 2004, especially for the first couple of years, has absolutely destroyed me emotionally.
In the months leading up to my divorce I was clinically depressed to the point where I would burst into tears with no warning and was almost impossible to work. I seriously contemplated suicide for a couple of months, but I couldn't do it because of the hurt and hardship it would have put on my kids. But I really was that point.
Over the years since my divorce, I have had to force myself to think of other things, anything I find interesting, to take my mind off my perceived loss. When I was still married, I spent every available moment with my kids, just being with them. I have literally spent hours upon hours watching them at soccer practice or band practice. My son, at the time was one of the top 10 defensive soccer players in the state of Michigan and my daughter is a very talented flutist and saxophonist.
It is so hard, to sit in my little apartment, and contemplate wast could have or should have been, or what we, I, should have done different but it is too late now. I still see my kids but not even a quarter as much. My daughter still has band, but she also is working two part time jobs along with high school and I try to take her on father-daughter dates as much as is possible. I see my son more often. He stays with me every other weekend. I have tried to be as much a big brother to him as a Dad, and he is truly my best friend. Your are so full of shit.