Speech Game

[Philly Mike]

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank you for coming out today to witness this historic event. In the world that we live in, now more than ever we must come together as a nation and combat the increasing number of fuktards we now have to deal with on a daily basis.

To address this new threat, we, as Americans, must stand together against this new evil. The first step in this is to suspend the driving privileges and neuter those who put bulls balls on any vehicle. Second, all people found in possession of novelty t-shirts will be forced to wear nothing but burlap sacks.

There are plenty of examples of douchebaggary out there, but we must be swift and powerful with our action against this axis of stupidity. Douchebaggery is easy to identify but difficult to halt. It has a stinging scent as that of Axe on frat boys, which in and of itself, is a key giveaway to douchebaggery. This type of stupidity did not manifest overnight, I hold firm to my belief that these acts of negligence of the brain have been brought forth by a radio show known as Bob and Tom.