What You Will Be/Have Been for Halloween

[Mark the Valet]

Me? I didn't have any good ideas until one randomly popped in my head: ZOMBIE PIRATE NINJA.

I test drove it tonight:



Now, this is obviously not the final product as I said ZOMBIE pirate ninja and clearly in that photo I do not look like a zombie at all. Not so fast, my friends! I have that avenue covered just like myself in honey when I go out jogging nude. I see the ladies looking; and when I do I give them my signature upwards nod as if to say: "Yeah, I see you lookin', pretty lady, and boy am I lookin' too"

Behold!



My plan is to make what's left on my visible face zombified and leave those horrific gouges across my face...The awesome level that this will bring about when it's all said and done will rival natural disasters in power.

Though, while taking these pictures I couldn't help but think a sly, dashing debonair international spy ninja wouldn't be a bad idea either:



but that's besides the point.

Also, I purchased some rad batman gauntlets for like 11 bucks -- check these bitches out:



OH Eff YEAH.
Now, I know what you're all thinking..."Oh God, not this whole pirate/ninja crap again" I know. It's old, but hey. Screw off, I like goofy shit like this. Besides, how can you hate a costume that makes me look like pirate version of the Shredder back in the 1700's?



Yeah, that's right.