11-17-2008, 08:35 PM
Quote:My friends,
Before you cast your vote on the Board MVP East, let me remind you of these few facts.
Burnking regularly effs his hermaphrodite sister, Lola, in the while trying to drive his P.O.S. Bonneville. He has killed countless women an children by not paying attention behind the wheel. Is this the 'man' you want representing your precious FB&HW board?
Peachs is suffers from a highly contagious disease known as gingervitis. She tries to pass it off as a cute chick with orange hair, but don't let her fool you. This daywalker is just waiting to attack the rest of us once she is crowned MVP. Scary.
Hotzester is a slaveowner who plans to sell Michigan to Canada before bleaching his hair blonde and growing a soul patch reminiscent of pubes, then fleeing to France to escape ridicule. Don't give him that power.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not telling you who to vote for, I'm just telling you who not to vote for. Make the right decision.
My fellow posters,
Allyson would have you believe that her three opponents in the Eastern Division are evil deviants. Allyson wants to paint us as manical monsters with ulterior motives, just waiting to win your vote so we can unleash our minions upon you all to satisfy our wicked agendas.
Her recent attacks on Burnking were unwarranted and lacked originality. In fact, her claim that Burnking regularly effs his sister in a P.O.S. Bonneville were blatantly plagiarized. This quote can be attributed the moderators of the forum she so badly wants to represent as your MVP.
Allyson has also attacked Peachs, saying that Peachs suffers from a disease called "Gingervitis". Posters, there is no disease called "gingervitis". What Allyson was obviously trying to do was evoke fear in you all. A fear of poor oral hygiene. Don't fall victim to this fear mongering. Oral hygiene is a serious issue in this country. How can Allyson have a solution to this national tragedy when she can't even spell it?
And finally, there is the attack on me. Allyson claims that I'm a slave owner. Never in the history of this democratic process has there been a more unfounded barrage. If Allyson had asked me just one time, I could have given her the facts. Slave owner? Hardly. My family came to this country aboard the Mayflower. Edward Doty was an indentured servant to Steven Hopkins. Does this sound like someone who would breed slave-owner descendants to you?
As for my plans to bleach my hair blonde, again, this is untrue. Fact - I'm 33 years old, and my hair has been receding for a few years now. I don't want to put any chemicals on my hair that would expedite this process.
I believe that you're all above this sort of rhetoric. It is time to make a statement that we can not be sold a bill of goods that is factually inaccurate, morally reprehensible, and grammatically retarded.
I'm Hotzester and I approve this message.