11-18-2008, 08:42 AM
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1- I do physical labor.
2- I work at great depths.
3-I plunge head first into everything I do.
4- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5- I work in a damp environment.
6- I don't get paid overtime.
7- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
8- I work in high temperatures.
9- My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
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Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1- You cannot work 8 hours straight.
2- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
3- You rarely follow the orders of the management team.
4- You do not stay in your designated work area and are often seen visiting other locations.
5- You do not take initiative. You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective gear.
8- You will retire well before you are 65.
9-You are unable to work double shifts.
10- More often than not, you leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11- If the ten reasons listed above are not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
1- I do physical labor.
2- I work at great depths.
3-I plunge head first into everything I do.
4- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5- I work in a damp environment.
6- I don't get paid overtime.
7- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
8- I work in high temperatures.
9- My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
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Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1- You cannot work 8 hours straight.
2- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
3- You rarely follow the orders of the management team.
4- You do not stay in your designated work area and are often seen visiting other locations.
5- You do not take initiative. You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective gear.
8- You will retire well before you are 65.
9-You are unable to work double shifts.
10- More often than not, you leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11- If the ten reasons listed above are not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
3/30/2009 1:38 PM Loose Wendy wrote: "I would rather masturbate using a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire than have sex with Joe."