11-19-2008, 09:04 PM
I am 42 and grew up in Cumberland Maine. I have an older and younger brother. My parents were very young when they married, but were great role models. They both came from very poor backgrounds. They built a beautiful life together for us all. My dad passed away almost 2 years ago at the young age of 62. It was a big turning point in my life. (I'll get to that in a bit)
I have an associates degree in medical laboratory technology. I worked in hospital and clinic labs for 15 years until I got my present job working in clinical chemistry research. It is a dream job for me. This job also was a turning point in my life.
Most importantly, I have two beautiful girls who are 11 and 12. They are truly the best of what I am!
As many of you know, I am in the process of a divorce. Those two turning points really apply here. The job changed me because it made me aware of how smart I am, and how accomplished I could be. It woke me up again to how confident I felt when I finished college. I realized that my husband had worn me down over the years to think I could not do anything right. Anything that went wrong was my fault in his mind. I lived with it for a long time, mostly because I just couldn't deal with it. My dad was very ill for eight years, and during that time we had many deaths in my mothers family. It was a hard time. When my father passed away I realized how short my life could be, and really had to decide if this is how I wanted to live the rest of my life. It took me a year before I felt strong enough to tell my husband I wanted a divorce. He begged me to stay. So, since I had thought about this for so long (we had gone to counseling about two years before this) I made a list of the things that needed to change. He looked at it once and never did anything to make me stay. So I took my girls and left. I bought a house and am supporting my children alone, with the firm support of my very strong mother.
So, for all those out there that have given me a hard time about getting divorced and labeling me as an "abused" woman, wait to live for some years. See what life throws at you before you start judging people. There isn't a thing I would change in my life. I would not have the 2 beautiful kids, or the wonderful relationships I have without appreciating where I've been.
I have an associates degree in medical laboratory technology. I worked in hospital and clinic labs for 15 years until I got my present job working in clinical chemistry research. It is a dream job for me. This job also was a turning point in my life.
Most importantly, I have two beautiful girls who are 11 and 12. They are truly the best of what I am!
As many of you know, I am in the process of a divorce. Those two turning points really apply here. The job changed me because it made me aware of how smart I am, and how accomplished I could be. It woke me up again to how confident I felt when I finished college. I realized that my husband had worn me down over the years to think I could not do anything right. Anything that went wrong was my fault in his mind. I lived with it for a long time, mostly because I just couldn't deal with it. My dad was very ill for eight years, and during that time we had many deaths in my mothers family. It was a hard time. When my father passed away I realized how short my life could be, and really had to decide if this is how I wanted to live the rest of my life. It took me a year before I felt strong enough to tell my husband I wanted a divorce. He begged me to stay. So, since I had thought about this for so long (we had gone to counseling about two years before this) I made a list of the things that needed to change. He looked at it once and never did anything to make me stay. So I took my girls and left. I bought a house and am supporting my children alone, with the firm support of my very strong mother.
So, for all those out there that have given me a hard time about getting divorced and labeling me as an "abused" woman, wait to live for some years. See what life throws at you before you start judging people. There isn't a thing I would change in my life. I would not have the 2 beautiful kids, or the wonderful relationships I have without appreciating where I've been.