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#15
Speaking of "I like turtles":

There has been this trend as of late at the drive-thru of fast food restaurants for the person taking the order to ask "how are you?". Today I answered with "I like turtles". I thought the woman was going to lose it.

One time I was feeling a bit bold and when asked by the female drive-thru attendant how I was doing I responded by saying "I have a burning sensation when I urinate". That was met with a few moments of uncomfortable silence.
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
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