02-09-2009, 07:49 PM
In my early thirty's, I got myself in to serious trouble in my marriage, with some very bad behavior that I will not elaborate on. My wife swept up my kids and rushed over to her relatives for the weekend where she left me to stew in my own thoughts and actions. I was very wrong and I was very much in trouble and my marriage was very much in the balance. I had no clue what to do to even begin to fix the problem I had caused. So I called my Dad.
My dad, at that time, was an elder in his church and very religious. He gave me this advice: "Go find that bible that is collecting dust and open it up. Find a pen and a piece of paper and look up the word 'forgiveness'. Hand write every verse down on your paper. Then give that paper to your wife." Since I was distraught and desperate, that is exactly what I did.
I spent the rest of the weekend hand writing about ten pages front and back, all concerning forgiveness. When my wife finally got home with the kids, she wanted an emergency counseling session and I agreed. I apologized for my actions and handed her the pages that I had written then went to our bed room, shut the door and waited.
After about ten minutes, the door to the bedroom flew open and in a low even voice she said " God may forgive you, but I will not!!" She then tossed my papers at me, walked out and closed the door. The stress in my body was overwhelming and my brain snapped. I left huge bruises on my thighs as I beat myself with my fists and I hyperventilated. As I lay on my bed and wailed I noticed a bright light in my bedroom but in actuality the room was pitch black. In just about that same instance I heard a voice. and that voice said "Peace be still, the Lord is working"
My body went instantly loose and with in a few minutes I fell dead asleep.
This was the beginning of an almost six year spiritual journey of mine. And it ended with me coming to the realization that I could not continue to live a life that really wasn't me. I had attempted to fit the square peg of my life into the round hole of God and it did not work very well. Eventually it did cost me my marriage but I'm OK with it.
My dad, at that time, was an elder in his church and very religious. He gave me this advice: "Go find that bible that is collecting dust and open it up. Find a pen and a piece of paper and look up the word 'forgiveness'. Hand write every verse down on your paper. Then give that paper to your wife." Since I was distraught and desperate, that is exactly what I did.
I spent the rest of the weekend hand writing about ten pages front and back, all concerning forgiveness. When my wife finally got home with the kids, she wanted an emergency counseling session and I agreed. I apologized for my actions and handed her the pages that I had written then went to our bed room, shut the door and waited.
After about ten minutes, the door to the bedroom flew open and in a low even voice she said " God may forgive you, but I will not!!" She then tossed my papers at me, walked out and closed the door. The stress in my body was overwhelming and my brain snapped. I left huge bruises on my thighs as I beat myself with my fists and I hyperventilated. As I lay on my bed and wailed I noticed a bright light in my bedroom but in actuality the room was pitch black. In just about that same instance I heard a voice. and that voice said "Peace be still, the Lord is working"
My body went instantly loose and with in a few minutes I fell dead asleep.
This was the beginning of an almost six year spiritual journey of mine. And it ended with me coming to the realization that I could not continue to live a life that really wasn't me. I had attempted to fit the square peg of my life into the round hole of God and it did not work very well. Eventually it did cost me my marriage but I'm OK with it.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"