06-26-2008, 08:06 AM
When I was 12, I went with a friend and his family to Canada on a fishing/camping trip. I had no idea that I hated camping until I went. After a day there, I realized that I reeeeeally sucked at fishing (apparently there's patience involved), and if you really suck at fishing, you're pretty much screwed on a camping trip, unless you like to look at trees. Which I found out I didn't.
So one day, my friend and his dad went fishing by themselves and his mom and I stayed back at the campsight. She was a hag so no sexytimes occured. I got bored of staring at the fire after about a minute, and nearly panicked, knowing there was absolutely nothing else to do for the rest of the day.
That's when my eyes happened upon the hatchet, and a whole new world of possiblities suddenly opened up!
I grabbed it and headed off to teach some saplings a lesson, ignoring my friend's mom's admonishment to be careful with that thing. Please. I'm a man! I know what I'm doing! Go back in the trailer and slather some jelly on a piece of bread for me and mind your own business woman!
I found a nice patch of baby trees and started hacking away. The blade was dull, so I really had to swing it to cut through them. After about 5 killings, I thirsted for more carnage. I found a bigger sapling and began hacking away at it. It proved to be a formidable foe. After about 10 whacks, it barely clung to dear life. After 10 more, it still stood, tantalizingly close to dropping. 8 more whacks, I still couldn't break through. 5 more. 3 more.
Now, frustrated and on a mission to send this stupid tree to an early grave, I mightily wound up, aimed, and uncoiled my fury!!!@#
Only the blade never found it's mark. It landed about three feet short...IN THE BACK OF MY FREAKING HEAD!!!@#
I pulled it out as quick as I could, before the tears could flow and the pain could set in, and looked around. My frined's mom was looking directly at me from her seat at the fire. She had a puzzled look on her face, and I immediately could tell she didn't completely comprehend what had just happened
So one day, my friend and his dad went fishing by themselves and his mom and I stayed back at the campsight. She was a hag so no sexytimes occured. I got bored of staring at the fire after about a minute, and nearly panicked, knowing there was absolutely nothing else to do for the rest of the day.
That's when my eyes happened upon the hatchet, and a whole new world of possiblities suddenly opened up!
I grabbed it and headed off to teach some saplings a lesson, ignoring my friend's mom's admonishment to be careful with that thing. Please. I'm a man! I know what I'm doing! Go back in the trailer and slather some jelly on a piece of bread for me and mind your own business woman!
I found a nice patch of baby trees and started hacking away. The blade was dull, so I really had to swing it to cut through them. After about 5 killings, I thirsted for more carnage. I found a bigger sapling and began hacking away at it. It proved to be a formidable foe. After about 10 whacks, it barely clung to dear life. After 10 more, it still stood, tantalizingly close to dropping. 8 more whacks, I still couldn't break through. 5 more. 3 more.
Now, frustrated and on a mission to send this stupid tree to an early grave, I mightily wound up, aimed, and uncoiled my fury!!!@#
Only the blade never found it's mark. It landed about three feet short...IN THE BACK OF MY FREAKING HEAD!!!@#
I pulled it out as quick as I could, before the tears could flow and the pain could set in, and looked around. My frined's mom was looking directly at me from her seat at the fire. She had a puzzled look on her face, and I immediately could tell she didn't completely comprehend what had just happened