Masturbation

[Mad Dog]

My problem here is I'm one of those "all or nothing" kind of guys. When I was living as a Christian I would go for a month with out masterbating which was like eternity. It would feel like my balls were on fire and and my brain would get fuzzy. But then I was like "God will forgive me just this once" Then.... well....

Anyway, a couple of days later I would be SOOOO wracked with guilt, begging for Gods forgivness, I would accept his forgivness in Christs blood then a month later BAM!!! same thing. I couldn't take it and I felt like I was insane.

Right, believe me I understand how you were feeling. I think this isn't anything to blame God for however. This is something that you struggle with (by you I am generalizing the human race as a whole). We are taught that once a sin is forgiven that's it, your washed clean. God forgets but we have a hard time letting go. I would say, and forgive me if I'm wrong, that based off of your previous posts that you went in search for God so that you wouldn't lose your wife. When he didn't allow that to happen you started to become bitter towards him and instead of seeing where he might be leading you now you are closing your eyes. Maybe if you started over with better intentions you might get something more out of it.

This is a fair question. I honestly do not know if this is possible. Check out Hebrews 6:4-8

4 It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit,
5 who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age
6 and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.
7 Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God.
8 But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned.

This may as well have my name in it.