I wrote a story.

[renegade]

I vote name change for Alex that suits him alittle better than just Alex.

How's about:

Doktor Douche bag , or
A-Hole level 99 (going with the wizard thang) , or
Whinny lil crack addict, or
DISCOMBOBULATED , or
Lil punk bitch , or
PrOdUcT oF 1 NiTe StAnD , or
Sperm Bank

One of those would fit perfectly.