04-13-2009, 10:04 AM
Dear 17-year-old me:
Despite the slow starts in h.s., you are suprisingly cool this year. You're finally getting over your lack of physical attributes and going out a lot, so here a few pointers for the (near) future:
Ditch Becca. The bitch'll only turn on you after freshmen year. There is no point allowing her to sit at our lunch table anymore. Make her make new friends, because yours like you better, anyway.
Atleast pretend to like some of your fellow students more than you like the teachers. One of your best friends is already in college, one will soon hate you, and you will lose touch with all of the rest. You do a great job alienating people and you need to stop it or you'll only get worse.
Drop the 20 pounds you will gain through the year NOW. The Freshman 15 will soon be kicking your ass.
Get a (paying) job. Despite the good GPA, the extracurriculars, the volunteering, and the job at Dad's shop, scholarship committees will not like you. It is either that, or it is a conspiracy and Ms. Johnson is only turning in the applications from her relatives to get sholarships.
You are going to skip prom again this year (but you're going out with Ben instead, so it's worth it). I advise you do the same with graduation. You'll only be bored as shit and you'll miss your own congratulatory lobster dinner.
Make Mom and Dad pick Billy up from work and bring him home the weekend after his birthday. Trust me, it will save a lot of heartache.
Stop giving Bonnie birth control lectures. She'll only wind up pregnant in high school anyway.
See Chad. He'll be the only person you date for a long time.
And for the love of god, take some inititative in life. Stop sitting and waiting for things to happen. They won't. You're well on your way to becoming the maiden aunt, the crazy cat-lady, or a suicide risk and it's pathetic.
Love always,
The 24 year-old, (hopefully) better and wiser you.
And don't be such a loser.
Despite the slow starts in h.s., you are suprisingly cool this year. You're finally getting over your lack of physical attributes and going out a lot, so here a few pointers for the (near) future:
Ditch Becca. The bitch'll only turn on you after freshmen year. There is no point allowing her to sit at our lunch table anymore. Make her make new friends, because yours like you better, anyway.
Atleast pretend to like some of your fellow students more than you like the teachers. One of your best friends is already in college, one will soon hate you, and you will lose touch with all of the rest. You do a great job alienating people and you need to stop it or you'll only get worse.
Drop the 20 pounds you will gain through the year NOW. The Freshman 15 will soon be kicking your ass.
Get a (paying) job. Despite the good GPA, the extracurriculars, the volunteering, and the job at Dad's shop, scholarship committees will not like you. It is either that, or it is a conspiracy and Ms. Johnson is only turning in the applications from her relatives to get sholarships.
You are going to skip prom again this year (but you're going out with Ben instead, so it's worth it). I advise you do the same with graduation. You'll only be bored as shit and you'll miss your own congratulatory lobster dinner.
Make Mom and Dad pick Billy up from work and bring him home the weekend after his birthday. Trust me, it will save a lot of heartache.
Stop giving Bonnie birth control lectures. She'll only wind up pregnant in high school anyway.
See Chad. He'll be the only person you date for a long time.
And for the love of god, take some inititative in life. Stop sitting and waiting for things to happen. They won't. You're well on your way to becoming the maiden aunt, the crazy cat-lady, or a suicide risk and it's pathetic.
Love always,
The 24 year-old, (hopefully) better and wiser you.
And don't be such a loser.
"I'm glad to see those 'Worthless Whore' lessons turned out well for you."